Is 10 presents still considered awful?

[CloudyVanilla]

Just wanting some perspective as I'm already planning Christmas!

So I googled "10 Christmas presents" and the most popular results all seem to say this is cruel/stingy/a let down...

I have 3 DC, ages this Christmas will be 5, just turned 3 and nearly 1. I'm wondering if 10 presents each from us, plus a stocking, plus about 4 - 5 presents each from family is enough, or would you consider this a disappointment?

I'm not overly concerned about money, as in I am low income but I can budget and save enough to buy more, I'm just wondering what the general mindset is these days especially once DC have started school...

I'm mainly doing the math, 30 presents in total, averaging a about £30 per present is £1200 already!! That's an awful lot of money and that's not even including the stocking.

I try not to think of pile size but I do want it to be magical, exciting and relatively normal, as in not dramatically different from what the average child in their class is going to get.

I'm so sorry for totalling rambling, basically I'm asking if 10 presents from parents is generally considered possibly average, way below average or plenty! I have a feeling it is I adequate but I also have quite a small house and there is just so much stuff. They all have autumn/winter birthdays too so will be getting presents then as well!

[museumum]

10 presents is probably our average but many are less than £30!!
We’d count a book for £8.99 or a Lego set at £10-15.
Them obvs some £30 to £40 things.

Unless it’s a “big present” xmas when they need/want a bike or something then that would be it with a handful of cheap fun things.

[lilgreen]

Who told you it was stingey? Ffs!
YABU to be even thinking above Christmas in May!!

[Hatscats]

One “big” present of their choice.
A few smaller gifts like socks, pencils, chocolate coins, etc.
Christmas is just so wasteful, you see so many kids with piles of presents they don’t care about even opening. Ends up in landfill, adds to carbon emissions and gets people into debt.

[DownADirtRoad]

SleepingStandingUp

Babies? Twins? 😊 My friend has twins, she says they mainly just wanted to play with each other until they were much older anyway. 🤣

He could EASILY spend £300 on his specific shows toys, he just doesn't have rich enough parents or a play room

Bless him, I’m sure he’s very happy with what he has. They could all easily spend more, no matter what they have.

[SleepingStandingUp]

YABU to be even thinking above Christmas in May!! if I was looking to spend nearly 1k on presents just for the kids, I'd need to think about it in May too. At least she's saving not credit carding

[DownADirtRoad]

YABU to be even thinking above Christmas in May!!

This is the Christmas topic! 🎄 🎅 And it’s a good to think of something rather than the misery that is Coronavirus and lockdown.

[SleepingStandingUp]

DownADirtRoad not playing together yet. T2 tries to munch in T1 and T1 cries and rolls away. They'll get there. DS loves that they've got hos toys and he gets to play with them all again!
He told me the other day what he's having for his bday and weirdly he's right (there's LOTS of things he's wants and isn't getting). I swear the kid is psychic!!

[antisocialdistance]

I sometimes feel like I live in a different world. We're a financially comfortable family, surrounded by other financially comfortable families and don't know anyone who gives their kids 10 presents plus stockings, not even my totally Christmas-mad friends.

We give 2-3 presents to our kids (one big, two smaller, plus small stockings with books, small treats, hand-sized games, etc), and a gift each from siblings to each other. Sometimes a 'family present', like a tent.

That 10 could be considered 'awful' (as in not enough) by anyone totally shocks me.

[DownADirtRoad]

SleepingStandingUp

Your children sound lovely and all very happy. 😊 It sounds like you’re in trouble with your son in future with his psychic powers. 🤣 How do they just know stuff !

[jackparlabane]

Like many people, we have one 'big' present, then stuff like books, pyjamas, clothes, games, and special food. Until the kids were about 5, it was easy - big second-hand items like dollhouses were free or cheap. Reception year was tough as suddenly kids want particular expensive items yet don't understand money - since then can give them a rough budget for a big toy and they spend months considering.

One year the entirety of Xmas was under £100 per child, other years it's crept up to more like triple that, but that's mainly huge second-hand Lego sets, a console game, books and clothes, and making up for the fact they no longer have presents from Granny.

The Christmas stocking surprises are the most important bit - for autistic kids they can't cope with big presents being a surprise, but random stuff in a large stocking is the kind of surprise that's fun. I hit posh charity shops for puzzles and books and all, and it means people still get at least 10 things to unwrap.

I have learnt to wrap and label as soon as I buy, in October - a dozen items X 3 kids and adult family member, plus our parents, neice and 3 nephews, and DH, is a lot of wrapping!

[farmertom]

10 presents is crazy! Way too much. Also at those ages they will be overwhelmed and won't appreciate them all.
One nice bigger present, stocking and a few smaller ones is perfect!

[rottiemum88]

Surely it's about buying things the child(ten) want/need/would enjoy than a set number of presents? I just don't understand that at all. It's buying for the sake of buying

[okiedokieme]

It's loads! I did stockings plus 2-3 main gifts at that age. They also got pjs on Christmas Eve

[SleepingStandingUp]

DownADirtRoad he's done it before. Asked for one present for ages, I brought it without his knowledge, he immediately asked for something else and didn't mention the first present. He was sooo excited to get first present but it was like he KNEW that was secured so onto the next.

I have to say we poetically do now than 10 presents, just lower value so books, smaller toys as well as 1 bigger thing. He was an incredibly poorly baby /infant and I don't disagree he's spoilt but with 3 it won't all fit under a tree so I'm going to have to reign it in. And he def got present fatigue in the early years when all sorts of random people brought him presents for basically surviving.

[user3274826]

It's really hard to judge if 10 is over the top. I very often see people's small lists shared on here and see there are no books listed, I highly doubt all these parents never buy their kids books? My kids get most of their books at birthdays and Christmas, so several of their 10 presents includes books. It also includes some needed things I would buy anyway, but that they will really love to open, such as branded trainers, sparkly wellies, rucksack or stationery for school, rainbow umbrella, character bedding, lamps or decoration for their bedroom. I think many parents would just buy these things year round and feel judgy about spoiled children getting ten presents, but maybe they give their children pocket money and don't think twice about buying branded shoes and clothes through the year or buy them phones/bikes/instruments/books/console games/garden toys as and when.

[user3274826]

But also @antisocialdistance how on earth do you know the exact details of gifts exchanged by all the other financially comfortable families you are surrounded by? No one other than immediate family members know the exact items I've bought my own children. If someone did ask, I wouldn't list every single thing. It's not really something that people discuss, which is why it's asked so much on forums like this.

[OnNaturesCourse]

I don't set a present amount, I set a budget amount for my DC

She gets (as a only child) £50 spent on Xmas eve box and elf stuff, £100 on toys, £50-100 on clothes and/or books. That's £200-£250, and to me that is a lot of money but to be honest it only gets about 4 big toys, a outfit or two and some books so roughly 7 or 8 presents. If I am able to I buy second hand so she gets more out of the budget.

She's 2, and all the Xmas presents are from us and we put one of the big toys from Santa. (we tell her we buy the gifts and Santa checks the list to see if she has been good enough, if she's extra good she may just get a present from Santa himself.) We do this as its family tradition and helps her understand she can't get everything.

[DownADirtRoad]

he's done it before. Asked for one present for ages, I brought it without his knowledge, he immediately asked for something else and didn't mention the first present. He was sooo excited to get first present but it was like he KNEW that was secured so onto the next.

Smart lad. 🤣

[Divebar]

Whenever I talk about buying books as presents on here I always get a smug arse saying “ ohh books aren’t gifts they’re daily essentials in our house”

Anyway - personally I don’t think 10 presents is a lot. I think 10 presents at £30 each for 3 children is a lot. There’s all sorts of things you can buy that is not plastic crap from China that costs less than £30. The baby certainly does not need tons surely? Things like new felt tip pens ( which I would love), colouring books, play doh, Dressing up outfits or accessories and god forbid books ( and a gazillion other ideas ) can be bought to create whatever size pile. I would set your budget rather than a number of gifts and don’t be afraid to buy second hand. My daughter got a second hand bike for Christmas - it was a really good make and in great condition and she didn’t even notice. People sell big bundles of toys like Sylvanian Families or Lego or whatever so keep your eyes peeled.

[Divebar]

Oh and I would say we’re reasonable comfortable finance wise if that matters... but we don’t buy toys etc in between birthday and Christmas. My friend who is considerably wealthier than our combined income only buys 2 or 3 presents at Christmas but buys a shit load throughout the year ( practically every weekend). She went out and bought her DD a new bike on a non occasion day whereas I would only have given it for a birthday or Christmas. So horses for courses.

[OnNaturesCourse]

Yes I should add... We are a lower income family, and our DDs birthday is right next to Christmas so she does get odds and sods throughout the year too. For example she got a bike at Easter time, but no chocolate from us.

[antisocialdistance]

@user3274826

I don’t know the details of every family in the area but in the lead-up to Christmas there is always lots of talk in my fairly large friendship group around what we’re giving the kids. Paired with going to lots of Christmas parties where it would be obvious if there were multiples of 10 presents for kids under the tree, it’s not hard to have a pretty good idea of the local “average”.

[Divebar]

That’s a weird measure. Presents for my DD don’t sit under the tree prior to Christmas Day. ( usually because they’re not wrapped at that point )

[antisocialdistance]

Guess things are different around me then?

Seems to be traditional to have presents wrapped and under tree early in the Christmas period but that may well be a habit common to my social group. I don’t think I’m mistaken about the norms among the group of people I know, so maybe we do live in a different world!

[Divebar]

Well it would be a dull place if we all did it the same way