Should I have got more

[feelinglikescrooge]

Feeling like the worse parent ever.
FC brought oldest DD everything she asked for and a bit more.
DD seems happy and I was happy that DD was happy. Yesterday she went to her best friends for a couple of hours who got a laptop, phone and switch (although this item is shared with her brother), games for switch and a pile of presents three times higher than DD's (well that's how DD described it)
DD didn't ask for much because she is out of the house 3 evenings a week and a Saturday morning at gymnastics so doesn't really play with many toys which is why Father Christmas also brought some clothes as well as a couple of leotards and a new beam besides items on the list.
I will be honest, I could have got DD a few more things for Christmas but I would have been buying for the sake of buying. She's only 9 so didn't think a phone was a necessity this year and she's got a tablet for playing games on. Father Christmas presents came to about £500ish and I was happy with the pile she had but now wonder if I should have bought loads more so she had a bigger pile even though I know she wouldn't have played with a lot of what I could have bought or they would have been opened once like last year then never played with.
When her friends come round most make slime, draw/colour, watch TV/movies, gym friends practice gym and when it's nice they play on the trampoline, bars, swings or out on bikes, scooters etc so really don't know what would have bulked the pile up and currently can't think what to get for her birthday in March!
If I could have got more, should I have?
Do you buy for the sake of buying?
How do you explain how others have so much more when FC brings all the presents to our house and all the presents to friends house?

We spent around £300 on each DC. That felt like a lot to me but still when I see what other kids got it seems like mine got hardly anything. But I still wouldn’t spend more.

A friend on FB got her ten year old an iPhone, a bike and a Nintendo switch as well as lots of other toys. That seemed excessive to me, not something I want to do myself. I appreciate that you can do whatever you want and what works for your family so I’m not moaning about that.

I’ve told my dc that Santa brings kids presents, not all kids get the same. Also some parents buy the kids the pressies as they don’t believe in Santa, some parents supplement what Santa brings them, etc. They seem to accept this.

My dc compare but they need to learn that different families have different circumstances and spend accordingly. Especially with the way tweens and teens communicate via the internet it can become a bit of a bragging fest. Which is not healthy.

My kids had abt £60 spent on them from myself although my ex spent a similar amount.

It is easy to feel despondent comparing yourself to others, best to avoid although I know that can be hard. But we generally as parents do what we feel is best for our kids with our individual ideas and budgets.

I wouldnt rush out and get more or waste time feeling guilty.

Having decluttered the house I now realise I was being silly feeling bad because when putting things away I've realised how much oldest DD actuaĺly had and realise that if I had let FC bring more once she is back at school and gym then it would just be sat there not played with.
Thank you for the reality check.

We earn well and spend around £100-£150

No way would I spend more than that.

I made an effort to cut back the piles this year as I felt there was very little I could buy the dc that was actually of benefit to them. There are a small number of toys that get used consistently so I bought things to supplement those activities, rather than reaching for the wow factor.
Ds loves lego and wanted a particular set which we got, but has really appreciated getting a big box of 2x4s because he’s always short of them. They got new board games because I wanted something that would work well across generations (beat the parents) and something that was based on cooperation rather than competition (volcano island). They got better quality and specific function art materials. Dd wanted an our generation set, so we got that, and some Harry Potter accessories and upgraded some hobby materials to sustain existing interests. They got the junk what they asked for, but on the whole I think I made better choices for them this year.
It’s still a lot, though spread out across relatives too, but there wasn’t any stuff for the sake of stuff.
It’s been eye opening to me how hard I found this. I know enough about child development and educational psychology to know why I was making those choices. I am concerned for the planet. And I was deliberately trying to align my buying choices with my values. It’s still hard and has made me more conscious of the constant insidious but largely invisible pressure to buy, buy, buy crap.
I will admit that the fact that they are only pretending to believe in Santa helped immeasurably. In previous years the Santa guilt broke me!

I spent £400 on two children. I refuse to spend more than this. I don't have the room for more stuff, and also going overboard would make January and February tight

One year I don't think I got it right, but without going wild and buying huge amounts of stuff, this will happen. Im fine with this. Its only one day of the year.

We tell our DC that we have to send money to Santa, for gifts that the elves can’t make/from shops etc, which explains why they see so many of the things they get in shops as well as explaining why some children get more and others get less. I’ve also told them I send Santa the wrapping paper, after they saw the same paper in our house one year. They’ve always been happy with those explanations. My middle DD is also 9, she sounds very similar to your DD- into gymnastics, slime making, colouring etc. She didn’t ask for many ‘toys’ as such but quite a lot of craft type things and a new iPad as hers had broken. I probably spent a similar amount to you. I don’t compare- in fact the only thing I dislike about the Christmas talk threads is when people make other people feel bad for the amount they spend. Be it high or low it’s up to you. I also don’t compare piles- you’ll probably find that your DDs friend was envious of things your DD received.