Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

I got the gifts wrong

24 replies

Beatone · 25/12/2019 19:51

Spent more money than ever before this year on presents and couldn't wait to see happy family faces yet the reactions I had were not what I expected.
Me and my DP will be going away for New Year long distance trip and I bought him an experience day for when we are away, something I thought he would love. Something he had mentioned many times that he would love to do yet this morning I was met with an almost blank expression and he told me his favourite gift was a t-shirt I got him? I tried to inject some enthusiasm by showing him online what it would be like and got met with 'I know I've seen it before' he was cold with me all day, disheartening when I'd cooked dinner for everyone too.
Next up was my mum, a trip for three days to a sentimental family place I haven't been before but she hold a lot of memories there. Something I know she wouldn't pay to go to so I paid for flights and hotel. This was met with 'oh its going to be strange to go back there' to be fair I half expected that and her happiness grew throughout the day sort of.
Just feel like today has been a bit of a failure, could have got the same reactions for not even half the effort I went to Sad

OP posts:
SuperFurryDoggy · 25/12/2019 19:56

Oh no Sad Hopefully they’ll be slow burner gifts and the enjoyment you’d hoped they’d get from them will come further down the line.

They should have been a little more gracious in their receipt of them though. It’s obvious you’d put a lot of thought in.

Original poster
Beatone · 25/12/2019 20:06

Hopefully you're right, I guess I had a picture in my head of how it would go and it did not happen I always go to a lot of effort and usually get a good reception, lesson learnt though for next year Smile

OP posts:
threesecrets · 25/12/2019 20:07

And that is why we only do presents for the children!

Seriously, They are being ungrateful OP and don't deserve your thoughtfulness.

Elieza · 25/12/2019 20:09

Wow, they have no manners at all. I’m stunned. If the experience or hotels can be changed you could offer to swap them for something else they may prefer.

If you can be bothered.

I think I’d be hurt that the wonderful presents I chose weren’t even a tiny bit appreciated. And then be wondering why I even bothered. Next year get them a small gift instead.

What did they get you?

Ohyesiam · 25/12/2019 20:11

Next year suggest no n presents for the adults.

BackOnceAgainWithATinselHalo · 25/12/2019 20:12

Oh that’s sad, sorry OP

SuperFurryDoggy · 25/12/2019 20:15

On reflection, it sounds like your DP was the biggest downer on the day. Is it an adrenaline type experience that he was full of bravado for when he didn’t think he’d actually have to do it, and shitting it now he’s actually going to have to?

Original poster
Beatone · 25/12/2019 20:20

@Elieza my mum got me exactly what I asked for and more, I was over the moon. My Dp got me less than he usually would but I did tell him not to buy much due to our holiday.
My mums reaction was half expected due to the emotional value of the gift and she seems more excited now but my Dp has annoyed me the most, when we visited his parents and they asked what he'd had he replied 'clothes and stuff' typical Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Beatone · 25/12/2019 20:23

@SuperFurryDoggy I agree it was the biggest downer, funny though if true. His whole attitude throughout the day has been horrendous not sure if my gift kicked it off or he's in a bad mood over something.

OP posts:
LiveRightNow · 25/12/2019 21:29

If he got you less than usual as you agreed to not spend much because of your holiday could he be a bit embarrassed if you bought him something expensive? (I'm assuming if he knew what it was he also knew how much it was?)

Stompythedinosaur · 25/12/2019 22:04

Can you have a quiet word with your dp when you are alone and find out what the problem is? Is there any chance you've got something slightly different than the experience he's been hoping for? Not that that would excuse his rudeness, of course. Can it be changed? If so, maybe cancel and go for a meal together instead.

threesecrets · 26/12/2019 13:38

Should've agreed not to get anything and have new kitchen cabinets after Xmas. Or you could have given him taps.

JaJoJe · 26/12/2019 17:49

I think things like this are kind of an IOU for the actual gift in the future.

I think you cant really get excited when you are given a piece of paper that say 'you have tickets to (insect thing) in 6 months time' the excitement comes on the day of the activity instead when it feels 'real'.

JaJoJe · 26/12/2019 17:49

*insert not Insect lol

Deathraystare · 26/12/2019 18:25

Next year tell everyone it is Children only for presents. Tell them you obviously got it wrong as they didn't seem too pleased with their gifts so you feel it is not worth doing next time.

thickwoollytights · 26/12/2019 18:36

Children only presents next Christmas

And maybe your DP would prefer you to get a refund for his expensive gift so that the money can be used for your NY holiday

Sniv · 30/12/2019 10:59

All the 'experience' gifts I've ever given have been received with a bit of a deadpan reaction, even when it was dream concert tickets that the receiver had been gutted to miss out on when they were released.

I think it's because it's the promise of a gift in the future, when they were expecting an actual gift right away. The concert-goer was grateful when the time came. I'm hesitant to buy experience gifts again, though.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 31/12/2019 06:14

Is it possible that he had planned to surprise you with that experience when you went on the trip and felt his surprise was ruined/taken from him?

RhymingRabbit3 · 31/12/2019 06:25

Sounds like your DP is rude and ungrateful.

RhymingRabbit3 · 31/12/2019 06:26

I think it's because it's the promise of a gift in the future, when they were expecting an actual gift right away.
This would be an understandable reaction from a child, but surely an adult should be able to work out what the gift means and at the very least moderate their reactions to appear grateful.

Ruraldream · 31/12/2019 06:38

Sounds like it was something a bit scary and now, for all his prattling on about it, he has to actually do it.

Pluckedpencil · 31/12/2019 06:47

Reminds of the time I bought DH skydiving classes for ChristmasGrin. Once in a lifetime present. Literally!

MrsCollinssettled · 31/12/2019 06:51

Sounds like he was embarrassed after complying with your decision to not spend much on Xmas presents. Put yourself in his shoes - if you had just got him s token gift and he gave you something really expensive you'd be feeling pretty awful too.

Think you need to explain to him why you put him in such an uncomfortable position

Original poster
Beatone · 31/12/2019 06:55

The closer the experience has got the more excited he is for it. It ties in with our holiday, no idea why the reaction on the day though maybe it was the fright, not sure. But he's visibly looking forward to it now. Thankfully Blush

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page