Can never relax on Xmas eve - annoying people!

[Anon12345613]

Just want to moan and I know most of you will go wild crazy at me but I just need to vent please!

I can never relax during Xmas eve I’m sat here waiting to start my evening with my family and trying to relax but a particular person who lives 5 doors down from us decided 4 years ago to always pop over at the most unconvient times every Xmas eve! First time she popped over with a gift and cards and caught me by surprise as we didn’t even know each other! So I was embarrassed as I didn’t have any gift to give her. Second year same happened but my quick thinking I gave her a gift I had wrapped for another family member so gave to her. Last year she popped over at 9pm! This year I gave her the gift at the start of December. Hoping she would do same but still nothing yet. I’m sat here now and I know sounds silly but can’t relax till she’s come and gone. I’m really annoyed that I can’t relax in my own home. I’ve just tidied the house and stopping kids from playing with toys so won’t look messy. I’m quite sick of this now I just want to be a slob in my pyjamas and have some wine but waiting for doorbell. Anything to cheer me up whilst I’m waiting? Or any words of how silly I’m being or not? Please help me pass the time. I think I do suffer slightly for anxiety and having sleepless nights with 3 small kids under 5 doesn’t help.

Well don't answer the door. Then she will get the message. You have a choice.

Yeah don't answer door , leave it till 7pm then get pjs on .

I'd be the same. Always feel on-edge if I know someone will be calling in at some point 'unexpectedly'.
I always ask myself what other less anxious people would do in these situations.
Chances are they wouldn't be over thinking and many would have forgotten this person is likely to call. Unlikely to be on their radar.
I try and be more 'that' person and just get on with things best I can.
Sorry not much help

Wow. You don’t sound very nice. Just tell her you don’t want her gifts anymore. Poor woman.

Thanks Spied! That makes sense actually will try that now. Countdown n mines - yes I would ignore doorbell but you can actually see someone’s at home through our curtains, they don’t block much out so yes maybe new curtains s in new year lol!

Genzee you obviously don’t have anxiety and overthink everything! Poor you so ignorant that other people might be different from yourself, grow up!

And btw YOU don’t sound very nice making fun of an actual mental health issue which is social anxiety

Unplug your doorbell, ignore any knocking, change into PJs and crack open the wine. I know she is probably trying to be kind but showing up at 9pm on Christmas eve, especially with kids in bed is very rude IMO

Exactly mumof tinies she caught me off guard last year. I wasn’t expecting her to turn up so late and tried to just exchange pleasantries at door but my awkwardness got better of me and I blurted out “oh come in”! And she did!

Pop round to her house with gift/card or whatever you've got. Just say you can't stop as you're about to settle in for a quiet evening. Go home. Sorted!

Gawd, you drop into my house, you take me as you find me! Put your pjs on, have a glass of wine and consider maybe this woman is lonely? Be kind! It is Christmas after all!

Stinky feel I did I have gift few weeks ago. Billy so definitely not lonely and weird thing is doesn’t talk to me all year but some reason wants to at Xmas eve. I wouldn’t really mind if she popped in any other tine but hubby only has Xmas eve and Xmas day off every year. He can’t take hold during Xmas as busiest times so as Eve is just us family and Xmas day we go to parents n extended family for dinner. This is our only time but I start stressing from morning as doorbell could go anytime! Wish I didn’t feel this way

You need to tell her at the door that this is the only holiday DH has and blame it all on him.

Thank you very much, merry Christmas, bye! Should suffice.

Let the kids mess up the house and then you'll feel too awkward about inviting her in! I hate inviting people in because I'm always nervous about that!

I know you gave her a gift a few weeks ago but in future I would contact her early Dec and say “You know we usually see each other Cmas Eve? Well I can’t do it this time so let’s arrange a different time and day” And do that.

This year? You answer the door but don’t let her in, say OH is chilling out or whatever. Get into your PJs when you want and have a drink if you want. Tell yourself this is the very last time, as next year you will have skilfully pre-empted it.

Out on your dressing gown and towel round your hair and say ‘oh I’ve just got out the bath, sorry I need to go and get dried off. Have a nice Christmas, Bye’ shut door and it’s done.

So did she arrive on Christmas Eve?

Now I'm invested too! Did she turn up?

No she didn’t turn up! I was kinda annoyed and a bit relieved. So I take it she won’t keep up Xmas eve tradition next year.

Forgot to add she did text me Xmas morning to say they’re not feeling well and apologised. I feel bad as on reflection it is a nice thing to do I think I was just being a moody sod. I’m just gonna invite her and her boys over one day. I think anxiety is sometimes worse and sometimes okay so will wait until I feel a bit less stressed.