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Christmas

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Bad attack of seasonal blues

6 replies

HarrietSmith · 24/12/2019 07:22

It's been a trying year in some ways. Spouse and I have been to Relate - which was actually quite helpful. Political stuff has been appalling.

My own family background is fairly appalling. A certain amount of physical and emotional abuse, which everyone but me won't talk about. (I have bad memories of being shut in my room all of one Chrismas day when I was five for some unspecified misdemeanour. 'You know very well what you've done,' they said. To this day I haven't a clue.)

Spouse and I were hoping to put everything behind us. Our daughter who recently moved to London is back.

But he has had some investigations for a urological problem which left home with an infection. He's on his second load of antibiotics, is tired and shivery and keeps retreating to bed exhausted. He also adopts a kind of manic fake cheerfulness when he is present, but doesn't really take anything in.

My daughter just seems very remote. I suppose I'd imagined her bringing a kind of warmth with her. I've been asking her about her job and her friends in an effort to reconnect. But she's just answering the questions. I think she's genuinely happy in her flat and her work, so it's not that she's down. It's as if she's moved away emotionally as well as physically. Which is probably to be expected - but I feel a bit downcast.

We've also had to change the food we had planned to eat, as she has declared that she is now a full-time vegetarian. This is okay, and she is quite helpful with cooking, even if it is mainly vegan stuff. I'll confess to saying I would find duck a bit more festive than beans and rice.

So all in all, I'm looking forward to it being over.

OP posts:
Hairwizard · 24/12/2019 07:28

Morning! So sorry you are having a rough time. Have aomeBiscuitBrew
What about taking her out for a hot choc and a chat? Get out of the house for a bit?

HarrietSmith · 24/12/2019 07:32

Yes, the getting out is a good idea. We went for a run together yesterday - but she had her headphones in, so it didn't feel that companionable.. I also went back home while she did a longer circuit.

It may be that she's seeing friends today, but will suggest a local cafe/the park, depending on times.

OP posts:
daffyducked · 24/12/2019 07:43

Go and do something for yourself.

She is being very rude!!

Have roast duck for Christmas lunch and help her to cook something for herself.

It sounds like you need to look out for number one first.

Branleuse · 24/12/2019 07:58

Vegetarians dont usually eat beans and rice at christmas. Usually get a nice nut roast or some festive turkey substitute from the frozen veggie aisle.

Im sorry youre feeling a bit low x

HarrietSmith · 24/12/2019 08:03

I think Spouse and I will have the roast duck for New Year when it's just the two of us.

The beans and rice were her cooking for us yesterday. Some of her dishes are actually very tasty. Personally I do get a bit hungry if there's not much dairy - although I know vegans do find their diet completely satisfying.

We shall survive - I hope!

OP posts:
Mitsouko67 · 24/12/2019 08:05

It sounds lonely. We all want to feel close and connected this time of year but reality doesn't always match up and you describe that floating/ removed feeling very well.

Meeting a friend for coffee and a debrief can help. Lots of us are experiencing similar feelings. Happy Christmas.

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