Loneliness is shit. And misunderstood. And not only available at Christmas, it's just one of the few times a spotlight is actually shone on loneliness during the year.
Not everyone can give up their time or money to support those who professionally help the lonely at Christmas such as Help the Aged, Crisis and The Samaritans. And those organisations can only help those who present themselves as in need, make themselves visible and allow themselves to be sought out or those who pick up the phone.
But anyone can feel lonely, cripplingly, debilitatingly, frighteningly alone and not everyone will admit to it, or project it in a way that those around them may recognise. It is ageless and sexless, it doesn't care about money, location, career or appearances. It can also lurk behind a thousand amazing lifestyle images and followers on Twitter, Instragram and Facebook. It can creep up slowly from nowhere or come crashing down, alone, or hand in hand with depression, grief, loss, fear but all too frequently with stigma tagging along too.
There is plenty of generalised advice for the lonely about positive thinking and volunteering and picking up the phone and joining a class but when walking around in a constant state of isolation those things may seem huge impossible tasks. Even more so at Christmas when the world is racing along, so loud and busy and brash, in one huge social whirl.
So go small.
Whether you're lonely or not human interaction is part of who we are and any positive human interaction matters. Every time we make a simple connection, a smile, eye contact, a thank you, a how are you today, an eye roll about the rain, any small positive interaction, it's like lighting a candle in a darkened room. It can be with a total stranger, or the bloke in the shop down the road, the quiet lady in the office, the waiting staff, your rarely seen neighbour, the cab driver. For the lonely those small social interactions can be risky mountains to climb but for everyone else those tiny throwaway moments may be the only seconds of direct positive social interaction the person you smiled at has had, all day, all week. Every second counts. It may be the thing which encourages them to make small inroads into interacting more with others. They may carry it with them for far longer than you imagine.
We all need each other. It costs nothing to be kind, so please take that moment to make eye contact, smile and connect with those around you over the coming days. Unless you have suffered from loneliness you cannot begin to imagine just what a huge impact something so small can make, both at Christmas and every day of the year.