First Christmas since splitting

[Misty9]

My 8 year marriage ended earlier this year, mutually and no third party involved, and I'm facing the first Christmas of coparenting the kids. They're at their dad's until Xmas morning but I'll go over Xmas eve bedtime and first thing Xmas morning. Then they're with me until the Saturday after Christmas. So I'll be alone Xmas eve and wake up alone Xmas morning.

I'm just feeling a bit flat about it all. I've been quite avoidant of even thinking about it so am not prepared and will need to sort stuff when the kids are gone tomorrow. It just feels so sad and I feel pretty alone. My family (mum, her husband, my two brothers and their other parts) and I are renting a big house for the Christmas week which I'll be going backwards and forwards to with and without the kids. But my family is quite dysfunctional and they only really like me when I'm happy. And I'm not at the moment

Is anyone else in this boat? Or was in it and has any tips? I'm thinking just get pissed and watch TV?!

So it's getting through Christmas Eve night and Christmas morning alone that are the major challenge. Do you have any friends going out on Christmas Eve? Or if not you could go to a late film or something?

All my friends are married with kids so are tied up Xmas eve evening. Tbh I'll get through that bit, I'll buy some nice food and maybe watch a film. It's more the happy families being shoved in your face at this time of year and Christmas being marketed as being all about buying for special people. Going Christmas shopping just makes me so sad which is partly why I've avoided it.

Someone just slap me!

I'm with you OP. Kicked my XH out last December for an affair so last Christmas was a bit of a mess. This year we are civil and I've invited him over for Xmas morning as I honestly just can't face doing it by myself, just feel like it would be a let down for DD (only 3yo).

He's having her Boxing Day for 3 nights and it'll just be a bit flat like you say. I feel like I've hardly bought for anyone, I loved buying Xmas gifts for everyone but I've much less enthusiasm this year.

It's very deflating when everyone else seems to be happily paired off and you sit at home alone when the kids are asleep.

I feel the same. I don't have my little one from tomorrow until boxing day. We have had a mini christmas so they can have a few pressies. I just keep thinking ill get it next year but doesn't make it any easier :(

It's very deflating when everyone else seems to be happily paired off and you sit at home alone when the kids are asleep.

This. A hundred times. I've tried to explain to friends that I'm most lonely when I've got the kids and they're asleep.

Sorry for others who are in this situation

So we had a mini Christmas morning today with a special breakfast and dancing around to Xmas songs. They're off this afternoon to their dad's until Xmas day now... I'm contemplating my food shop and just can't muster much enthusiasm when it's only me

Don’t put to much pressure on yourself to enjoy Christmas and remember it’s only a couple days.

I understand what you mean about the loneliness times being when the kids are there and asleep, I struggled with this for quite a while, feeling alone and unable to do much about it. It does get easier and I actually enjoy my evenings now (most of the time).

Concentrate on getting things ready for when you get your dc’s back Christmas Day, enjoy a quiet evening with a take away and a film.

When I had my first Christmas without DD I volunteered at Crisis at Christmas. And still do whenever I can.
I did Christmas earlier with DD.
As others say, it does get easier and the first of everything is always more difficult.