'Family present' for tricky dad, step-mum who hates me and two step-sisters I don't know?

[PatheticParrot]

Last year I sent them all a big box of cakes from Betty's in York. Dad seemed to like them but apparently step-mum took it as a dig as my mum and dad met in York...

Have previously sent cookbooks etc as I know they both like cooking/ making jam etc. Step-sisters are 17ish and 21ish, really don't know them at all. Have previously sent small individual presents to SM and the two of them but never had a thank-you or even knew if they'd received them.

Dad usually sends us a hamper, which is nice, and presents for the DC. Feel I need to send something to keep lines of communication open - don't want to deliberately exclude SM and her daughters, as that will also be taken amiss. I could think of books he would like etc but then that leaves them out. Any ideas??

The sum total of my knowledge of them: They like cooking, gardening, and travel. Have recently renovated their house and have two smallish dogs. He's retired but busy with voluntary stuff, ex-businessman, she's a teacher of her mother-tongue and training as a counsellor. Stepsister 1 is a student of MFL, stepsister 2 is doing her A-levels and is artsy rather than sciencey.

Budget is flexible but not infinitely. I am running out of time as needs to be something I can send! Help!

Theatre vouchers? Check the theatres near them operate under the national scheme.

It’s lovely of you to be putting effort into their present despite everything! I’d go for a nice assortment of edible treats, things like nice chocolate, mini Christmas cakes, a pack of mulling spices etc

A Mrs Bridges hamper - although check that step-mums ex/ds/dd etc did not jump off a bridge. (not really).

Why are you going all out for people who “hate” you or who are ungrateful and who you don’t actually know????

Give a gift to your dad and leave it at that, they were so ungrateful that you decided you cant do right for doing wrong so best leave it at that.

Give only to those you value and who value you!

Cinema voucher, so they can all go and see a couple of movies together with popcorn and drinks.

Magazine subscription or gift vouchers they can use around the house. TBH, I would just go with what your father likes - if your SM can find fault with cakes, we can safely say it's nothing to do with your gifting skills and everything to do with her insecurity.

What about a Netflix Gift card and big bag of pop corn - they can all sign in with their own accounts and watch what they want. Scratch map to highlight all the places they've been together. Set of mugs - each with their own initial on (seen loads in the shops) and a jar of posh hot chocolate and marshmallows. It's a difficult one!

Initialled mugs is a good idea. Emma Bridgewater do some nice ones, and send with coffee, or tea, or hot chocolate. If hot chocolate, you could get some of those chocolate spoons that dissolve in the drink.

Hamper with a couple of DVDs, popcorn, sweets and a bottle of something alcoholic.

Bird house/bird bath/hedgehog house for the garden.

Cheese hamper.

I wouldn’t be bothering and agree with @MzHz

Send a gift to your dad and let the rest of them sod off. They don't deserve your generosity. They can't complain about the gift if they don't get one!

However since you have asked what about any of those charitable ‘buy a goat’ schemes or National Trust membership

Neals Yard do great cheese by post

Is there a decent restaurant near them that you could get vouchers for? Or one that runs a cookery masterclass? Chocolate making course?

Send your dad something nice and the 'haters' any generic gift (socks, soap, chocolate, candles etc...) I mean whats the worst that can happen? they dislike their gift (like they already do) and decide not to like you (like they already do) lol.

A hamper.

I was going to suggest National Trust membership too.

Some Yorkie bars and a Yorkshire terrier

(obvs not really, but your stepmum is asking for it)

Charity gift, if your dad is into volunteering find something that links to his interests.

Books your dad will like for him. Diddly squat for the others. Kind thought but invest your time, energy and resources in people who add some positivity and joy into your life.

Well they're not buying you anything, your dad is sending the hamper and DCs gifts. Buy him something, forget the others, they don't deserve your kindness.

What nicenewdusters said.

A nice gift for your Dad and some handmade dog treats (not on the high street) for the pups - just to willing. She is trying to look for offence in a box of cakes and never thanked you for personal gifts. I wouldn't bother

Mean and ungrateful people don’t ever suddenly check themselves and turn over a new leaf.

People like them see people like you @PatheticParrot as weak and probably pathetic and desperate to please. The more you try to appeal to them, the more contempt they will have for you.

You went all out last year to find thoughtful gifts and you didn’t get so much as an acknowledgement let alone a thanks.

Getting a gift for your dad, a card to them all will actually show them that you’re not engaging with them anymore and they will lose the pathetic little feed/buzz they get by being mean to someone .

Tell your dad why you’re not bothering “well I’ve tried and they never thank me, aren’t grateful for anything I do, and given that there’s already enough “stuff” in the world, If I have to spend my hard earned money on buying something for someone, I’d rather it went to someone who’d appreciate it. I’ll save my money for better things and better people”

Tin of biscuits then leave them to it. They sound vile.

Ruff and tumble dog coats

Local fancy booze

Cookbook featuring a place they visited

Houseplant