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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

When did your dc start choosing/buying presents for you/DH/DP?

24 replies

Kubo · 08/12/2019 07:54

I’m not great at present buying/shopping in general, so haven’t really got into it with my dc much over the years, as in shared the process with them, talked about it, browsed shops with them etc. DH and I have generally thought of a couple of small gifts for each other and given them to the dc to ‘give’ to us for birthdays and Christmas.

They are 11 and 9 now, and I’m wondering if it’s something we should be putting effort into ‘teaching’ them. It doesn’t help that we have been a bit inconsistent with pocket money, so they don’t really have money of their own to spend.

How does everyone work it out?

OP posts:

hopeishere · 08/12/2019 08:19

I'm actually doing that this year - same ages!

We're helping with the paying but I want to get over the idea it's about giving as well. DS1 went shopping yesterday with DH and seemed to enjoy it!!

RhymingRabbit3 · 08/12/2019 08:21

They shouldnt have to spend their own money on it, but I would give them £5-10 each to choose a present for their parent.

Toomanycats99 · 08/12/2019 08:24

I've involved my dd from when they were young - it actually annoyed me when my ex just bought something and just said it was from them!

My oldest is12 now this year and spoke to her younger sister to see what she wanted to get and then insisted on using her own money to get it this year.

AlphaJura · 08/12/2019 08:27

My older 2 are the same ages. I've been giving them money for a couple of years to buy me something (when they were younger I'd take them to a shop and wait outside). I help them get something for their dad (we are separated). Now I have a partner and a toddler so my dp takes them into town and helps them pick. I think it's really important that they learn about giving. Also nice for some parents who buy a lot but don't get many presents, my ex for example has a small family who don't do presents for adults, his dm died so if the dcs didn't get him something, he'd get nothing! I know a few adult 'children' who don't seem to bother buying for family and I think it comes across as a bit ungrateful. I was buying my whole family presents for years on my dads side because he was useless and I used to feel bad about it.

NannaNoodleman · 08/12/2019 08:28

2&3 and they choose presents for each other and close family. If they're picking out utter crap, I'll give them a few choices to "guide" them!

sawyersfishbiscuits · 08/12/2019 08:30

Mine have for the last few years been given £1-2 to buy me something at the school fayre and they are also helped to wrap it up there and I have to be elsewhere. It's usually some body lotion that someone has donated or something but they loved to give it to me. They're primary school age.

BikeRunSki · 08/12/2019 08:30

I give mine £1 coin a set them loose in the pound shop!

Gatehouse77 · 08/12/2019 08:31

With their input about what to get but us still paying for it, from around similar ages to your 2.

Them independently thinking, paying, shopping and wrapping - older teens.

namechangenumber2 · 08/12/2019 08:38

I've been taking my sons into town and giving them money for the last 3 years - so aged 8 and 13. They enjoyed it and it was nice that DH and I got a present that we didn't know we were getting!

This year they're going in on the bus!

Bogiesaremyonlyfriend · 08/12/2019 08:44

My dds have always helped out too, they buy for me, their dad and each other. When younger they needed more guidance and we would chat about it, they are 7 and 9 now and pretty good at coming up with ideas, especially for each other! They are so proud of their choices and wrap them too. I pay as we don't do pocket money and their dad pays for my present. I think it is important to teach about giving at a young age

Original poster

Kubo · 08/12/2019 08:49

Ok, I’m going to brave the shops with them. I like the idea of the pound shop, element of making a choice but no expectation of quality 😄

OP posts:

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 08/12/2019 11:48

They were maybe 8 or so, and wanted to do it.

I forget whether it was their own money or whether dh went with them - and imposed a fairly strict limit.

I have a very fond memory of a dd at only 8 or 9 proudly giving me a very big gift set of cheap smellies she'd chosen herself, almost certainly from Woolies then. To her it looked amazing.
I did use them all and in fact they were perfectly OK.

TeenPlusTwenties · 08/12/2019 11:54

We started about age 4.

WhereverIMayRoam · 08/12/2019 11:58

We started bringing them to choose small gifts when they were @ 3ish. No matter who’s paying I think it’s important for children to understand that Christmas and birthdays aren’t just about them and it’s nice to give as well as receive.

They’re 10 and 8 now and really look forward choosing their little Christmas gifts. Though we must be mean parents because they pay for them from their own money boxes these days . Well, it’s good for their budgeting/planning ahead skills and we do give pocket money which they mostly save!

elliollie · 08/12/2019 12:48

When mine were small, I gave them £1 per family member and took them to the pound shop. I tried my hardest not to look at what they'd bought and I got them to wrap them themselves. We've had some hilarious presents over the years...I think my personal favourite was my Dora the Explorer shower cap!
Now that they're a bit older, they save some of their pocket money and I tip it up to about a fiver per person.
They still choose and wrap their own.
We open these presents upstairs on our bed before we go down to see if Santa has been, it's one of my favourite Christmas traditions.

elliollie · 08/12/2019 12:49

When mine were small, I gave them £1 per family member and took them to the pound shop. I tried my hardest not to look at what they'd bought and I got them to wrap them themselves. We've had some hilarious presents over the years...I think my personal favourite was my Dora the Explorer shower cap!
Now that they're a bit older, they save some of their pocket money and I top it up to about a fiver per person.
They still choose and wrap their own.
We open these presents upstairs on our bed before we go down to see if Santa has been, it's one of my favourite Christmas traditions.

merryhouse · 08/12/2019 13:38

We involved them in the getting as soon as they were old enough to understand. As they grew they had more input into the choices until the decision became independent (guided by suggestion lists as we all are). Not sure what age that was, but current 17yo has been doing it for at least four years.

When they started getting pocket money we made it clear that this was intended to cover presents - certain family members for Christmas and birthdays, and any friends they wanted to buy presents for. That was aged about 7, I think, maybe a bit earlier.

FoxInABox · 08/12/2019 14:06

My younger DD is very generous and caring, every year since she was about 5 she has ‘wrapped’ up little bits & pieces (often very random!) for us all. She’s now 9 and has earned some money herself from a stall at a Christmas Fayre, she has used most of her earnings to buy us all presents. We also have a tradition of giving them each money and standing outside Poundland while they go in and pick presents for us and each other. They love doing that.

Cherryrainbow · 08/12/2019 20:23

I took my son out recently, he's aged 6, to shop for xmas presents from him to his grandparents, dad and his gf and their pet dog, and me and my bf. He was absolutely thrilled at this and had surprisingly good choices for his age, for example he picked bangles for his nana and a PlayStation mug for my bf. I had to steer him away once or twice "I'm not sure grandad would wear a onesie" . And luckily he didn't go crazy. We got most things from Primark and the pet stuff from wilko so it didn't cost a fortune.

Fueledwithfairydustandgin · 08/12/2019 20:54

We all go to Poundland and take it in turns to take DS 5 in and let him choose a couple of gifts. We’ve done that since he was 3

Lipperfromchipper · 08/12/2019 20:56

We started at about 3/4 they buy for us, their sibling and gp’s

MrsJonesAndMe · 08/12/2019 21:51

About age 4 with help from the other parent or parent help for sibling. With our money though. Help them to think of ideas, budget etc

Whathappenedtothelego · 09/12/2019 10:48

Mine have chosen gifts from toddlers.
But they don't have to pay for them themselves.

BigmouseLittlehouse · 09/12/2019 10:51

I’ve done it with each of mine since they were about 3 - obviously I pay but they have always had really good ideas! My eldest (now 7 1/2) really enjoys it and puts lots of thought into it. It’s also been interesting to see the move from choosing things they like to really choosing for what the person likes ( if that makes sense)

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