Struggling at Christmas time

[Forbesie007]

I recently left and abusive relationship and moved into a council home with my 2 young children I moved somewhere that is far away from any family or friends, I’ve not much money and I’ve become so depressed this was a time of year I loved before and I feel it’s become the opposite for me, I don’t want my children to feel that way about it. I can’t afford much for them and I’m worrying about being alone on Christmas Day. Has anyone found them self’s in a similar situation? How did you get through it? I know I’ve done the right thing for mine and my children’s futures but is it always going to be so hard?

You aren't alone, you have your precious children with you. Now is the time to make new traditions / memories - happy ones!

Well done for moving away- that's really brave and when your children are old enough, they will be so grateful and proud of their mum!

I'm.sorry you're finding it so tough. In my area they run community Christmas type days for people without much money or those that are going to be alone- I.volunteered once and it was like a Christmas party - all the children played together, and the oldies watched on with big smiles - it was lovely. If you speak to a local childrens centre or food bank they may know of something similar?

If it's not something you fancy - Christmas doesnt have to be expensive- do some crafts and Make some decorations, buy some board Gmes and films for Christmas day and celebrate your first Christmas as a new little family.

Op, atmosphere... Low lights, candles... Fake battery operated candles... Wilko have some on sale, fairy lights... Music... White paper make snow flakes... Maybe silver glitter...

And music!

Charity shops bursting with cheap goods right now everyones having clear outs...

Cheap children's party food...

Could you invite family over to visit at some point?

How old are your dcs?
Im sure you’ll make friends in your new area. Get involved with the school your dcs are going to if you can, or playgroups if your dcs are younger.
Explore your area. See what’s going on, where is nice to take dcs or go for walks. Visit the local library.
Just spend time together.

You’ve all been through a hard time and thankfully you’re out of a horrible environment and you and your dcs can start to live a more normal life.

Well done on getting away. This is the start of your new life with your children.

Are you registered with a GP? Make an appointment and talk honestly about what's been happening and get mental health support. Ask to see the health visitor and find out about support groups like Sure Start or mum and child groups.

And yes to charity shops for clothes and toys. Do your children go to school? They may be willing to send home some craft materials. Also if they make Christmas hampers ask to be put on the list for one. Visit local churches and get on their radar. All just ideas off the top of my head so sorry if it sounds like a list.

Well done and wishing you a wonderful Christmas safe in your new home with your children. Things are going to get better for you, you've been so brave x

Look around and see what opportunities there are for you that are free eg Christmas tree festivals, kids Christmas parties run by community centres etc. Charity shops are a great source of gifts and start new traditions

Every Christmas the Salvation Army organise an appeal for new, age-appropriate, children's gifts and toys (no second hand items). They are intended for families such as yours. Contact your local Salvation Army branch.

There are some brilliant initiatives where I live for families who are struggling- many places collect presents, food etc, to be distributed to those who need it. I would look into if there is anything like that in your area you could apply to? Local community centres, sure start, etc are a good place to start, or ask your HV. You have made the best decision for yourself & your DC. Love pp suggestions of starting new traditions etc.

Thanks so much everyone, I’ve managed to pick up some bits of clothing for them both in charity shops but not any toys the ones closest to me don’t tend to take much toys in, I don’t drive and the bus takes an hour an half to the city and costs quite a lot, I’ve looked into playgroups and the only one I found I contacted and they have a waiting list so can’t attend that until they have a place. I might go in and speak to the school I just hate to come across as needy and ask people for things the craft supplies would be great though, my daughter is 9 and my son is 11months and his birthday is on the 23rd of December so I’m worrying about this also although he won’t be aware yet so that’s ok, I know I’ll be able to save through the year next year to be prepared. I’m trying to think of all the positives but it can’t be awfully hard ☹️

Are you anywhere near Manchester? There is a women's foodbank called Emmeline's Pantry that help people in your situation. They help with good and also gifts as I donate to them.

If you are nowhere near the area, see if you can find them on Facebook and call them. They may be able to direct you to a similar service in your area x