OK I've just watched an ad on Youtube where an impeccably dressed woman floated around her immaculate architecturally complex living space talking about how she needed 3 £100 a pop candles for the festive season 'one for that end of November feeling to get you in the spirit', one 'for parties and when you need that hit of festive spice' and one 'for those quiet times sitting on the sofa with a book'. I'm currently grappling with being completely disorganised in a muddy boot strewn house where the dog has decided to make a nest on the duvet. Shall we indulge ourselves in fantasy Xmas? I'll start.
Wearing a pale cashmere ensemble and perfect leather boots, I am sitting at an antique escritoire writing Xmas cards with a gold Mont Blanc pen. The ink is an ironic shade of teal. My children have asked for wholesome wooden toys, so in a few moments I will climb into my freshly valeted Land Rover Evoque to purchase them from a gloriously authentic artisan who has opened a store in the nearby small town. This town has a HUGE free carpark hidden discreetly out of sight. On the way home, it might snow lightly as I plan a simple and yet delicious meal for my enthusiastically vegetarian family who never stare at my food and say 'where's the meat?'.