How to make it extra special for DH!

[Helpordont]

We've had a shit year.
3 failed rounds of IVF
DSS has been pretty estranged from DH.
We've worked hard all year with little leave.
We are home alone at Christmas. (However we live in the tropics, so not a traditional Christmas)
He doesn't love Christmas, I do - so I can't bear to skip it.
How can I make it extra special for him this year?
(I'm not discarding there is stuff to sort but that is 2020's problem)

I'm sorry it's been a shit year. Here's to brighter things in 2020.

Everybody wants to feel that their loved ones care about their feelings. I'm not sure what you have in mind for making it special, but make sure it's about listening to what he wants rather than doing stuff that you like. Have a nice breakfast with Buck's Fizz, his favourite food for dinner rather than necessarily turkey and Brussels sprouts, and let it just be low key so he can relax. Refresh your TV subscriptions so you get a fresh batch of box sets, or do some research on what films are on when. Wheel out the Trivial Pursuit and enjoy with a mountain of cheese and port, or whatever the tropical versions are.

Things like special events, beautiful decorations and extra-thoughtful gifts can backfire on people who are not that into it. There's an unintended pressure to appreciate these things that they are just not fussed by, and it makes the socks and book they bought for you look a bit shit. If you want to do extra special festive bits for you then by all means go for it. He'll probably be happy that you are doing stuff that makes you happy, and it's fine to "let" yourself find happiness in these things. I really hope you do that, you deserve it. But for him, express your love to him by letting it be low key if that is what he wants/needs.