Need help with organisation

[Queenfreak]

We are hosting Christmas this year for the first time. Family are staying from the 23rd until the 27th.
I am totally freaked out. I have Autism, and the thought of not having space and quiet for a few days, on top of having to dress the house, sort out menus, clean etc just feels unachievable.
I've been seeing a specific autism counselor who has explained that if I make a list, then work through it, then I can achieve all this. (Its all to do with executive function and not being able to visualise the finished task etc apparently)
However I'm not sure where to start!
If someone is willing to help I'd be so so grateful.
So far I have made Christmas pudding, sorted children's gifts (not wrapped though), worked out where everyone will sleep. Worked out where Christmas tree will go (new house). Ordered the meat.
That's it!
I've got family abroad, so figured christmas cards and gifts for them should be next.
After that I'm stumped!
I keep panicking about activities for those days, gifts for my husband and family, Christmas cake, menus (allergies so everything needs to be home made), organising the house (boxes etc everywhere!), where we will store food (tiny fridge, freezer and oven), what food I need to buy, how to decorate the house etc etc etc!
My husband is great and when hes here we are an equal team (probably more him than me tbh as I generally need a rest to avoid meltdowns, overstimulation and chronic fatigue), however work is ridiculously busy and will be until Christmas eve, so he wont be around much until then.
Thanks so much for reading!

Can family decide a meal on one of the days. They can cook and plan it all. Remember you are not a hotel , so they are staying at yours free.
Relatives that live aboard. Deposit money into their account for them to buy presents. It’s much more cost effective. ( my brother lives in Canada, we are in Australia, we just say we will buy something for x amount for the kids and say it’s from them. They do the same. Saves lots of hassle. Our parents deposit money in the account and we buy something on their behalf.)
Activities don’t have to be an all day event. Local area to walk , maybe a national trust place? Do you have a pack of cards , board games ( we like Pictionary). Do local houses have lights up that you can wonder around on one of the evenings.
You sound incredible organised . Well done so far. You are awesome.
Have your room as a no go zone. Make sure everyone is aware of this. This is your escape area.
Good luck and enjoy

I'd need a few smaller lists and then a master list of lists, but I'm list mad. First I'd make a list like you've done in your first post of everything you think you need to organise:

The presents and cards that need posting, plus last posting dates for where they are going

Presents and cards for those that don't need posting, and when you're going to be seeing them if they're not staying with you

All the meals that you will need to organise for while family are staying, from lunch on 23rd through breakfast, lunch and dinner right through to when they leave, and jot down ideas as you think of them, ie, favourite breakfasts, buffet on Xmas eve night, and use this to write your shopping list, plus ask everyone to being their own alcohol/anything they can't live without.

What you need to do to the house, allocate bedrooms and sleeping spaces and check you've got enough bedding and towels etc or ask people to bring their own if you prefer, when will you do your final tidy and clean before they arrive, put this on your calendar and also ensure you have a day to put everything right again after they go before you go back to work

Decorations, have you got enough or do you need to buy any, are you just decorating the living room and dining table or will you want decorations in other places

Have a think about what your guests might like to do, will you want a boxing day walk, where to? Visit to a local town to see the lights on Xmas eve? Xmas eve Mass? Work out a rough schedule and maybe email it to people so they can have a look and let you know in advance if anything is wrong so you don't have to cope with last minute changes when dad says his bad knee means he doesn't want to walk on the beach etc

Good luck and remember they're all coming because they want to spend Xmas with you in your new house, it doesn't have to be perfect!

You’ve already got lots done!

The key is to organise your to do list into priorities. In my case I generally need to write down everything and work backwards.

CLEANING
Top priority is the kitchen. Do a deep clean between now and Christmas but also keep on top of it by doing dishes, wiping counters every day and spending 10-15 mins on something else in there, such as

• wipe down fridge
• clean oven
• wipe down cupboard doors
• shine sink
• clean larder
• clean down bin area

Clean bathrooms and then every day spend 3-5 minutes giving a quick wipe and tidy.

After those focus on the areas people will spend most time in. Declutter as much as possible (it’s fine to move stuff into an used room out of the way for now).

GUESTS
You need to organise bedding and towels for your guests. Do these need to be washed? When I have guests, I make up the beds with fresh bedding, and leave a spare set in the bedroom in case they want/need more.

If possible can you clear some wardrobe space in the bedroom the guests will use? Again, it is perfectly fine to simply move stuff to an unused room or area. The benefit is that your guests will have enough space in the room for their stuff so there will be less spillover into the house.

ACTIVITIES
I would approach this from the perspective of your own needs. You are going to need space and time out from them, you might prefer time alone at home while they go out, or to go out yourself.

Check the opening/closing times of local amenities - shopping centre, park, market, ice rink, local attractions - and print off cinema listing for the week.

If you wanted to, you could book tickets to theatre/pantomime/ballet/concert.

I absolutely would not expect this as a guest though. But I can see it might be beneficial to you to have clear plans.

MENU

I plan Christmas dinner, and Christmas Eve dinner which are both quite elaborate. After that it is more basic and I follow a formula;
Lunch is either soup or diy-sandwiches with fillings and breads on the table.
Dinners will be casserole, pasta, chilli or curry.

Everything, bar the sandwiches can and would be made in advance and frozen (in individual portions to speed up defrosting) so in the morning I just pull out what I need for the day. Soup can be canned. I get lots of par baked bread rolls in the supermarket.

Breakfast is usually a choice of cereal or toast (serve yourself) Or I put frozen croissants on a baking tray and slices of bacon on another and bake in oven at 180 from cold for 20 mins. Delicious bacon croissants! Minimal effort.

GIFTS
Order online if you can. You can often select an option for gift wrapping and just get them delivered ready to go. Stack them under the tree as they arrive. If you need help with ideas, mumsnet is brilliant for that too.

Oh you lovely lovely people! Thankyou so much for the suggestions (and not judging!).
@Aebj fantastic point about having a 'safe space' I will do that. I will also make sure I've some knitting etc nearby so I can do something to calm me down when we are all together and the kids dont need me.
@muddledmidget I love a list! I've written everything I think I need to sort out down. Then I'll write smaller lists for each item when I come to do them.
@Barbararara that's such a helpful list. Thankyou! I deep cleaned most of the house a couple of weeks back. I do still need to do the kitchen, and can see if I can make space for all the extra food/drinks at the same time.
As well as family we've also invited an elderly neighbour and through church have a lady who also doesn't have family.
I've a hand crocheted blanket that would be perfect for the lady as a gift (well, itll be finished soon), the gentle man I'm not sure about yet. I thought then a card made by the kids and they would be sorted.

Book an online grocery delivery slot now. Just put something up to the minimum order value in your basket and then take it out (if you don’t want it!) when you update your order. As you finalise your menus add to the online shop. I booked a Sainsbury’s slot for 23rd December today but you will need to be speedy as the slots go really quickly.

We had guests for a similar period of time and for food I did a meal plan for every day to work out how much milk etc. I needed to order. I then had to store veg in the garage as not enough room in the fridge. I then planned in what could be prepared early and frozen etc. So had specific tasks for each day in the run up to Xmas. We had to borrow tables as well as 12 on the day I think so a lot to do but I just thought through each day and wrote lists. All went well and everyone just helped out.

If it’s reasonably cold you may be able to store food outside, or in the boot of your car, if you’re stuck for space.