Broke this Christmas - are these presents OK?

[Sneezingmybrainsout]

I’ve got DD (9 months) second hand gifts so she’s sorted. Me and DH are just doing each other’s stockings. I’ve agreed with friends to not exchange presents and I’ve got my siblings covered. Only problem is my parents...

My mum is like a child when it comes to presents and her “love language” is receiving gifts. I can’t say let’s not do gifts (as much as I want to)

I was thinking of getting:
Picture of DD looking festive in a my first Christmas frame (I did see some for £4 in Matalan so I hope they are still available)
Mistloe print on canvas made of my DDs foot prints (They he these for £4 in Aldi and I hope they still have these)
My first Christmas bauble with a picture of DD in. Not sure how much this will be but I can’t imagine it’ll be much.

Do these sounds OK?

I feel like I should get something “more” but I don’t want to get something for the sake of it

You need to just tell her you haven’t got any money. Any decent parent would be horrified to hear their broke child was worrying about buying them presents.

Agree with Iheartniles, your mum should just understand!! I know mine would be gutted if I was stressing myself out and considering spending more than i can really afford

I don’t have decent parents sadly!

My dads fine it’s just my mum whose a pain

My love language is gifts too and when it comes to my children I don’t want them to spend money but to show they thought about what they got me - I’d rather have a £3.50 book I want than a £20 box of toiletries. So what you suggest sounds lovely to me. Do you have a photo of them together you can use? Or get the bauble and take a photo on the day of them to go into it?

Your mum loves you and understands so stop stressing.

I think these sound like lovely, personal gifts!

If your mum likes reading or has a particular hobby, you could always check out charity book shops for a book to add into the mix - I'm always amazed by how brand new many of them look (prob were given as gifts and never opened!)

But I think what you have already is lovely

I have sympathy OP. My mum is the same over presents.

Is she a doting grandmother? I’m just thinking all your gifts are both very DD and Christmas related. Would your DM like something she could use at another time? Maybe one of the DD-themed Christmas gifts, a small box of chocs and a cheap scented candle (or equivalent she would like)?

I'd give her one if those things from dd and then buy her something else from you. Three is overkill.

These are really thoughtful. My only hesitation was the canvas as it's very specifically Christmasy and could be a pain to store for the other 11 months of the year

I would use pictures of her with the child, rather than child by itself.

I think they're lovely thoughtful ideas but all very Christmas themed. Will they just be put into storage until the next December? Can you do similar things that's aren't so festive. Like a nice photo of your daughter in a normal frame?

Both my parents would be horrified if they thought I was worrying about finding the cash to get them gifts. I think you need to just tell them you're strapped for cash and have to be careful with how much you spend this Christmas and you're not getting them much. I hope for your sake they both tell you not to worry and to spend the money on your daughter, if they dont then they both need a good slap for being so god damn selfish! OP I'm really mad for you.

How about a photo calendar that can stay out all year instead of Christmas themed photo gifts

When I was broke while house moving a few years ago my parents ( who always insist they don't want us to spend money on them) received an IOY for a days work in their garden once the spring came. They were absolutely delighted and even more thrilled when they got the first grass cut done, the patio power washed and all the refuse taken to the tip. Don't give a gift for the sake of giving something, if you dont want to give, just dont give anything. If you do but can't afford money, give your time

I like the calendar idea that's been said above. I think I saw an advert for Photobox having money off at the moment. Your best bet is getting something this weekend with Black Friday.

Agree they all sound very Christmas themed. Can you pool the money you'd spend on each thing, £4 + £4 + £2? (bauble) and get one "nice" gift, like a silk scarf from a charity shop – wrapped prettily with a piece of ribbon (if you have it knocking about) that would seem generous; plus frame a picture of DD in a charity shop frame – cleaned up, maybe painted?, and a homemade cake (with ingredients you already have). Cheaper and nicer than seasonal tat, IMO.

It's still 3 gifts to satisfy your mum's mania but feels more sumptuous than supermarket Christmas stuff. If you know your mum would like the personal DD-related gifts, save your pennies and make your own prints of DD's feet on scrap paper, 99p charity shop frame, done.

Or pool money with your siblings to get one nice gift?

I agree with the photo calendar, my MIL loves them. I got one from Tesco last year where you just slide the photos in, I think it was £4.99 then it was 49p per print to print the photos off at the photo machine.

Or do you have a nice photo of your baby that you could have made into a canvas, there are usually some really good canvas offers on Black Friday.

I like the picture frame and the bauble idea but the mistletoe foot print picture sounds horrific to me. I'd swap that one out for a bottle of something and I think that's a lovely present bundle.

They are all very samey.

I think keep the bauble, swap the photo frame for a non-Christmas one as I'm sure she'll want a lovely pic of DD for all year round . And personally I would swap the mistletoe print (again will she feel she can only display it until early Jan?) for something small but thoughtful. Eg her favourite sweets or chocs, or maybe buy some pretty glass beads like these and some tiger tail on eBay and make her a necklace or bracelets. But you know her best.

I agree with @MistressMind about getting a non-Christmas photo for the frame so it can be displayed all the time. And then keep the bauble as the Christmas related item that your Mum can put on the tree each year

Would she be insulted by a home made gift? If not maybe make one of these with your daughter's handprint?

www.messylittlemonster.com/2014/12/santa-handprint-ornaments-using-salt.html

I think all thats sort of too much 'grandchild'.

The photo is a great idea and you could put it in any frame (89p frame from home bargains and a cheap 4x6 print from boots of a nice photo you took - if you took it on a smart phone remember to crop it or it will cut the top off).

that could be enough itself but if you want to give more id buy cheap token gifts for £1-2. For examples: a book, candle, necklace in clearance sale, chocolate, bath salts or whatever things shes into (I'd get maybe 2 things and the photo).

or a cool idea you could buy an affordible charm bracelet and your DD could then get her a charm every Xmas.

One thing you could do is make some home made fudge, or make homemade Christmas biscuits with your DD if old enough. It's not massively expensive to do, and IME nice edible stuff is always appreciated. When I was skint that was always my present choice. For packaging you can often buy cellulose bags in a £1 shop like these : www.lakeland.co.uk/12007/50-Clear-Gusseted-Presentation-Gift-Bags-20-x-28cm
For ribbon, to tie the bags, visit a local florist and ask if you can buy a couple of metres of florist ribbon, you can split this to narrower strips and tie the bags. It's obviously amazingly cheap stuff as often my chosen florist to ask would just give me the ribbon for free!