Is there ever a way to say you don't like a gift?

[livingthegoodlife]

Help.
PIL are very religious and recently gave my DD for her birthday a southern USA Baptist religious story book. DD not interested. She would have loved pretty much any story book as five year old! Sticker book? Colouring?

Is there any way I can say "sorry she didn't like it. Please save your own and the world's resources by buying a different book next time?" Or is it beyond rude and I should just put it on the bookshelf and forget it.

I'm nervous what Christmas might bring....

Any tips? Help?

Just send it to the charity shop and avoid the agro. Why would you upset them rather than be polite?

Yeah, pick your battles. I've come to accept that with some people, the feelings of the giver is more important than the receiver.

It would be rude, especially as they are clearly motivated by their religion. I think it would have been ok to say something like "thanks for the Frozen book - DD's favourite princess is Mulan just for future reference"

But this isn't a poor guess at her preferences, is it? Are they likely to ask about the the book? If not, I'd charity shop it.

You should be polite. Why are you even asking?

I wouldn’t say anything about their gift but I would drop a few comments about how she loves colouring. You are likely to get a religious colouring book, but at least your DD will get some use out of it

Just charity shop it and be prepared for years of evangelical tat coming her way in the years to come.

If your partner wants to have a word, then s/he should. In my experience though, evangelical Christians are pretty Teflon coated when it comes to stuff like that. Let's face it, they can hardly have thought it was going to be top of her wish list

Let her decide whether or not to tell them if they ever ask her but don't say anything to them yourself, that's just rude. A gift is a gift at the end of the day

I agree, partner could have a gentle word and say please no religious books. It does seem like a very subtle indoctrination and GP’s don’t have the right to dictate what faith their DGC follows.

It’s a requirement for evangelicals to promote the gospel. It’s going to keep happening even if you say no thanks.

I know you're all correct, I'll keep quiet. It just seems a waste.

I'll keep dropping hints about things she likes and maybe they'll get the message. I'll try to remember to report back after Christmas!!

Thanks for confirming the right thing to do.

It won't be a waste if you give it to a charity shop.

Though having said that, we are not remotely religious, but when a dd was maybe 7 a schoolfriend whose parents evidently were, gave her a book of bible stories for children, for her birthday. The loaves and fishes, etc.

Dd loved that book and it certainly didn't indoctrinate her - she's over 40 now and not at all religious. To me those stories are just part of a wide general knowledge, there's no lurking harm in them.

there's no lurking harm in them
Well, that depends on your beliefs: whether you're just not that bothered by religion or whether you actively think it's wrong and the messages children are continually bombarded with (even in non-religious schools) run counter to your beliefs and values.

5 years old is a funny age, OP. They're starting to get interested in the outside world, and are often desperate to understand the 'rules' of society and find their place. But they don't yet understand that even adults have different beliefs, and not everything they hear is true.

If you actively don't want religion in your DD's life, you can ask your ILs to please not give her religious books. But do explain that this is in accordance with your values rather than just that DD doesn't like it!

And I'd suggest starting to talk to your DD about religion - whatever it is you want her to know and understand. I'd assumed that 5 was a bit too young to tackle such complex subjects, and got blind-sided by some school indoctrination in Reception (including the Church giving out little crucifix trinkets - my DD is a sucker for bling!). And your inlaws are unfortunately giving an indication that they're going to push it too.

My lovely MIL is very religious, but also has brilliant boundaries wrt grandchildren. She obviously talks openly with DD about the things she does with her church, and when she's talking about things which are important to her she frames them within her religious beliefs, but she's never tried to teach religious ideas to DD - she's just living her own life. I think this is exactly the right boundary for a grandparent! On our side, we make sure that DD is respectful of other people's religions, and that she recognises that this is something very important to Grandma and to other people but that it's not what we believe.

I would put it in the recycling bin.
If you give it to a charity shop then some other poor kid will be subjected to indoctrination.

Are you religious? Do you object to religious books? If so you need to make this clear now - otherwise I would imagine this won't be the first gift like this.