His do I make Christmas fun for 4 adults?

[Apolloanddaphne]

I usually host a big Christmas bash for about12-14 people and I love it. This year for a number of reasons there will only be 4 of us. Me, DH, DD2 who is 21 and my DM who is 79. My DF died in the summer so this is the first Christmas without him. DD1 and her OH are going to his parents this year so this is the first time she hasn't been home for Christmas. The rest of the family are going elsewhere this year through obligation rather than choice.

My question is: what can we do to make sure we have loads of fun and the day doesn't drag? Normally we all get stuck in to the booze, have a riotous meal then play board games for hours. DH is not a board game fan. Does any one do anything fun that I might not have thought of?

Have you watched Richard Osmans house of games?
Some of those games coukd be fun to set up and play. Its not just general knowledge.
I think there is a book of activities?

We do like a jigsaw. In fact my DF used to get several every Christmas and birthday. DH doesn't like them though. He would not join in. The more I think about this the more I think DH is the problem. He can be such a boring fart. Normally his job is to clean up behind me in the kitchen and make sure everyone has drinks. I never really notice what he does during Christmas Day. I am going to ask him to think of things to do. He will probably tell me that it is his Christmas too and if he just wants to read a book then he can.

how about charades, my favourite,
you can look on line for quizzes

Was there a particular tradition or thing your Dad did?

I found the first anything particularly hard after losing my Grandad who was without a doubt the head of the family, so we factored in a 'time' to remember him. It almost made it easier for us to enjoy ourselves because we'd made a point of remembering him and setting a bit of the day aside just for him.
It doesn't have to be a big thing at all, but if your Dad had a particular drink he had, you could all have some and make a point of discussing your favourite memory of him, have your drink and then move onto something he'd thoroughly disprove of to lighten the mood a little (yes, we made a point of sitting down when we listened to the Welsh National anthem at the start of a rugby match)

Don't stop at asking your DH for ideas, ask your mum and DD too... If you say you are thinking of non-TV/board game options, what do they think?
They may surprise you!

Your DF died very recently so please be aware that DM might simply not be up for 'fun'. Last Christmas was the first for us without my DF nothing felt quite right.

DF liked a whisky which is deffo something DH could get on board with. He also liked to fall asleep on the sofa with a glass of red wine tilted at a perilous angle! He was great doing board games because he was deaf and never heard the questions properly so shouted out random hilarious answers. He will be very much missed!

A walk on the beach in the morning sounds lovely, take flasks of coffee with you and mince pies or something. I don't think your day will drag, you have lots of good ideas, your Christmas will be a bit different this year without your Dad but you can raise a toast to him and have a lovely day.

What does your DM want? If she just wants to watch tv let her. If your DD likes board games can’t you two just play?

I like some board games but DH and MIL are very competitive so suck all the fun out of it for me. There are some silly team games I will play, but other more strategic games I give a miss but don’t mind other people playing them. I just do my own thing.

If you are planning a good walk with the dog and having a big meal you are still doing things together, then after the meal people can choose what they want to do.

The first Christmas after my DF died I needed to have some quiet time just for me, at various times of the day.

I am sorry for your loss

DM will play games as long as they aren't complicated. I have some good ideas now so thanks you all.

The more I think about this the more I think DH is the problem

Given that it's your first Christmas without your df I think you're going to have to insist that your dh joins in all the festivities on Christmas Day whether he likes it or not. Come 7pm he can slope off and read, and he can do whatever he wants on Boxing Day. But this is one Christmas Day where he doesn't get prioritised.

My husband LOVES whisky, we did a whisky tour in Edinburgh and one of the things was the different tastes for different regions - peaty/smoky from Islay and floral in the lowlands.
Master of Malt do a Scottish tasting kit taking you through the areas - maybe make it a game where each person has to sip and match the whisky to the area?
www.masterofmalt.com/tasting-set/drinks-by-the-dram/regions-of-scotland-whisky-tasting-set/
The samples are about the equivalent of a double so between 4 of you, if you had little cups to pour a taster in would work perfectly.
Its a mix of remembering your Dad, having a drink and playing a game...may even get your Husband in the mood for more games!

If everyone is in good health, you could take a walk & have a little picnic.
You could bake cookies or something together.

Reading with interest as my DDad passed away in September and we will have a "different" type of xmas too. Unfortunately most of these ideas (which I love btw) wont suit either (or both) my uncle who is 90 and my teen/tween kids!! Although we might get out family trivial pursuit.

But the DH doesn’t normally get prioritised, it sounds as if games made up a huge part of Christmases in the past, which not his thing. It sounds as if OP has always had the Christmases she loves. It might be that DH would like a quiet Christmas but he doesn’t get that.

OP sounds slightly resentful that some people aren’t coming, as they have obligations to be elsewhere. And she might have to get used to DDs not being home for Christmas as they have to alternate Christmases.

Do you have any in-laws that can make up the numbers, or are they the ones who have to be elsewhere?

Instead of trying to make it 'fun' how about creating a lovely gentle relaxed vibe instead, just enjoying each others company. That way there will be no pressure on anyone. This year it's our first Christmas without my Dad too. Very sad times. I hope you manage to have a happy occasion nonetheless.

No resentment at all and DH loves the Christmases he has. No in laws coming. They live far away and we don't normally spend Christmas with them. We have done quiet Christmases before. This one just feed different. My DD1 I a massive presence though. I will miss her and obviously my dad too.

Just to say sorry for your loss.

Thing is OP Christmas is going to be different. Sadly you have two big changes in one go, with your eldest not being there and the loss of your DF.

I would have a chat with everyone and get ideas what everyone would like to do, but be prepared to be flexible, as you don't know how you all will actually feel on the day.

Are there any games that you used to play when you were little with your DPs or you played with your DDs when they were little, maybe be a bit retro, your DH might like to play them more? Would it bother you if your DH did just sit and read a book whilst the rest of you played games? If you are all in the same room, you are all still together. Could he be quiz master if you want to go down the quiz route?

Do card games count as board games?

Newmarket is good, you could play for pennies (or chocolate coins!)

Actually cards is a great shout. We love playing Newmarket when we are on holiday. Reminds me of caravan holidays in my childhood.