Christmas hates

[madcatladyforever]

Why i stopped going to family at Xmas, bearing in mind I can only get there 2 or 3 times a year as it's so far.
Basically the totally inflexible routine that ruins the day for everyone.
We are not allowed to open any presents until after lunch which is normally at 2-3pm. The children can open one each.
Ok fair enough. We have lunch and then my parents insist on washing up and totally cleaning the kitchen before anyone does anything else.
This takes about 3-4 hours as every pan in the house has been used and the oven is a disaster area.
When my kids were young I would leave all of it for when I felt like doing it, either late after they had gone to bed or the next day - just shut the kitchen door and enjoy the day with them as they are only young once.
By the time the oven is cleaned the small children are shattered, too tired to open anything and destructive.
I have not seen or spoken to anyone the whole day as they have been busy cooking and me or whoever have spent the whole afternoon being forced to clean.
By the time we get to open presents nobody cares or can even be bothered.
I thought what the hell ias the point of this and stopped going. It sucked every last little bit of joy out of the day.
Does anyone else do this?

OP, that sounds miserable, I don't blame you for stopping going!

My Christmas hates are:

People being sanctimonious about not putting up their Christmas tree early (in that they think the first weekend in December is TOO early, and we must be sick of it by Christmas Day).

Secret Santa at the work Christmas do - the event is great fun but I can't bear all the 'hilarious' tat that gets exchanged.

People who don't confirm festive plans until late November.

People who are sanctimonious about starting Christmas shopping 'too early'.

Visiting people in different parts of the country who then insist on a visit to their local panto. They are all filled with 'local' jokes which you don't get if you live 200 miles away.

Family who don't do their Christmas shopping until quite late then complain there's nothing suitable on DC wishlist (amazon lists all round in my family, not my choice) because you know, everyone else did their shopping weeks ago.

Receiving candles or toiletry sets as presents.

I agree with @Lovemenorca that kitchen cleaning shouldn't be a big deal if it is done as you go along.
My poor MIL who had been used to a frenzied present opening first thing was pretty shocked the first time she came to have Xmas with us.
Waiting until the afternoon and then taking turns to open one present at a time was odd for her.
DH wasn't fussed either way, dc have never known any different and it was my norm. ( I was used to church taking up the morning and at least I don't make anybody do that)
There isn't one right way to do Xmas but it needs to work for you.

Personally I hate tinsel on Xmas trees.
Watching tv on Xmas day ( because I love MIL I let her do it when she is with us)
Decorating early ( although living in the USA is helping me overcome this)

Forced frivolity with relatives who couldn't give a sh*t about me the other 364 days of the year

Sprouts, crackers (noisy, messy and annoying) and Christmas pudding (what is there to like about this?) Also all the people who moan that they don't like turkey, but order it anyway - if you don't like it do something else!

We've always opened presents as soon as we've got up, although now that our children are adults we're usually sitting around waiting for them to get up.

Christmas when I was a child was a sedate affair. We'd open presents, eat dinner and then watch TV. There's a 12 year age gap between me and my older sister so I didn't have anyone to play with. Family would come around at night for a party but none of them would drink and they would just sit around talking. Boxing Day was the same, except there were no presents and we'd all pile around my aunt's house for more sitting around and talking at night.
We didn't even have the tree decorated until a few days before Christmas in case the baubles got dusty so I decided a long time ago that when I had my own children the tree would go up at the start of December and we'd have a lot of fun. I think we did and I hope they have good memories of it.

I hate saying this as they're lovely people, but my parents now come to us for Christmas dinner and I find it very difficult. They're in their 80s, very stuck in their own routines and are like fish out of water when not in their own house.
I don't relax and enjoy the day until they've decided to go home at 4 (dinner has to be early, 1ish, although that's late for them as they usually eat before 12) to watch their programmes.

Sounds exactly like what we had to put up with as kids, at my Dads parents, it was joyless

Who on earth cleans the oven on Christmas Day??

Mine are:

Blue flashing outdoor lights that look like the emergency services.
Work secret Santas.
DH deciding that we need to do a full house clean on Boxing Day 😡😡😡.
Oh and DH insisting that he hates Christmas until the week before when he expects a huge faintly Christmas to magically happen.

I hate frenzied present opening where nobody knows who is opening what or who it's from. My nieces do this, last year they opened a present from me when I wasnt even in the room and by the time I came back it had been bagged to take home later.

People who buy mountains of presents, bonus points if they post a photo on social media.

My FIL eating the skin off cold custard when we are all waiting for our christmas pudding.

OP that sounds miserable.

My pet hates are pretty generic - elf on the shelf and Christmas Eve boxes. I think the more you expand the magic and present giving into other days, the less magical and special Christmas Day is.

Also families who give everything "from Santa" including iPads. It's hard on kids who get a lot less and, I think, rude to extended family who spend money on the DC but don't get a "thank you".

Marzipan how can anyone not like marzipan? Reprobates ! .

Actually my DDad doesn't like it but he has been schooled over the years to cut it off and leave it on the side of the cake for the next person.

I make the Delia recipe with Amarreto (it is lush)

I'm not mad keen on Christmas Pudding but once a year , hot Christmas Pudding with cold ice-cream is delicious .

Everything from Santa. I find it beyond unfair on families who buy less/can't afford Christmas.

Greed with food. My bil eats like a pig at Christmas, often taking far more than his share quickly as opposed to waiting to take seconds. Last year there were no pigs in blankets for me, I cooked 50 and there were 12 of us!

Hate having to get dragged round to see everyone in the morning. By the time we had been to see grandparents, aunts and uncles etc it was lunchtime and I hated it.

Now I refuse to go to anyone's house. In laws or any other relative are very welcome to join us. We have a leisurely morning of opening gifts, bucks fizz and smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for breakfast.

Then walk to church for nice short festive service and home for dinner about 3/4 (we eat when it's ready, no set time!) after wine and lots of carols on the radio and playing with new toys.

Repeat the playing but add board games etc til bedtime for kids.

It's so relaxing and cosy.

Christmas at my MILs was a bit strange. They sit in silence, no Christmas music or any television during the day. Everyone opens their presents at once so you don't get to see anyone open anything and it is just a frenzy. No breakfast. Then dinner at 12, which was nice, but very small portion. Then more silence until the soaps come on and then they are watched back to back, no one allowed to speak. No more food at all. I had to beg my DH to make me a sandwich at 8pm as I was so hungry. Then everyone went to bed at 10pm. We have hosted here since due to DH's work and I am relieved to be honest. I love MIL but I was hungry and bored.

Hates:
Christmas pudding and cake
Tinsel on trees
I am teetotal so being nagged to have a drink because it is Christmas

Oh and I agree about everything being from Santa

DPIL asking what DSs would like and being given a small range of ideas starting at about £10...and buying (quote DH) ‘some random piece of plastic that DS ignores’. And then nobody has bought something DSs actively wanted. Argh!

Christmas Eve boxes. Another way of getting people to spend more money on stuff they don't need. My Mum decided to start this tradition for my kids a few years back and I've accepted the boxes graciously but never said I wanted to do it. Then last year when money was a bit tight for her she presented me with the boxes and some cheap pyjamas and expected me to fill them up

The expectation that we will do all the traveling. We live opposite end of the country to our families and yet it's always us that has to travel, even when our kids were small. No health issues with our parents...FIL even drives for a living!

FIL's insistence on a pub trip on Christmas day. Kids want to be playing with their toys not hanging around in an old man's pub.

Boring Christmas trees. Lob some tinsel on it fgs!

Visiting relatives early doors. I want to sit in my pyjamas. Not get scrubbed up to watch someone opening their gift card envelope.

Outdoor Christmas lights. It's your neighbours that are stuck with them.

"Giving to charity" instead of writing Christmas cards. C'mon now. You're just too lazy to write cards.

The only thing I can think of of that I didn’t enjoy at Christmas growing up was my parents having a nap on the sofa after dinner.
I just love it all - especially marzipan

Oh yes I forgot to add Christmas Eve boxes to my hate list. Fuck that noise.

Bizarre christmas decorations. Our local garden centre has. Tree made up with peacock coloured ornaments, including a peacock shaped bauble, peacock feather wreath and various peacock coloured things. They also have a white tree with "under the sea" theme such as pearlised seashell shaped baubles, stuffed mermaids and plastic lobsters clipped on.
If anyone actually had these decorstion in their house (let alone all on one tree!) I would think they were mad.
What's wrong with some red and gold baubles, a bit of tinsel and some snowmen/robins/stars? What's christmassy about a peacock or a lobster?

Aah, Reading this has reminded me of tense and stressful Christmases at my DParents (happily long since given up!) One element was that my sister would immediately bag up DNs' presents (some of which were bought by me obv) and take out to leave in their car boot ready for home, so for the whole day & evening DNs would "share" my DCs' new stuff.

christmas dictators who won’t let kids open presents until everyone is sitting around watching, won’t let you eat a quality street for breakfast, don’t approve of booze before lunch, only want to buy educational toys for grandkids (mil that’s you)

Oh is that what a Christmas eve box is! Ah gosh funnily I have always well last 20 years also celebrated christmas eve but the rule is one little present at the nice supper time. I thought that was maybe what people called a Christmas box but I see i had pitched too low!

I never heard of anyone cleaning their oven on Christmas Day!

A quick wipe of any visible fat or gravy splashes is surely enough. Sod the inside - who's going to see it?

I hate blue lights on Christmas trees, and any sort of flashing lights.

Ditto miseries who 'don't believe in lying' to their kids about Father Christmas and deprive them of such a few short years of that magic.

Double ditto if they dare to try to spoil,it for anyone else's kids, like the malicious cow who tried to spoil it for a dd of only 5. I did manage to defeat her, but only because of an inspired lie about said malicious cow - she'd probably been so naughty when she was little that FC never came, so no wonder she didn't believe in him.
Worked like a charm - I do recommend it.

Gosh I would hate that.

Christmas Day for us is a laid back affair.

We wake up, kids bring their stockings in to us. We all go downstairs, dh and I have a cuppa and the dc open their presents, dh and I open ours last.

After presents we have a nice but small breakfast, usually scrambled egg and smoked salmon and we open the fizz.

After breakfast it's just do what you like, eat chocolate, play with toys, watch tv. We might watch a film while lunch is cooking.

After lunch we don't worry about the cleaning up, we might stick the dishwasher on, but we mostly just sit around eating chocolate until we are all so tired we go to bed.

One thing I really do hate is all the mess all over the floor. It's unavoidable but it drives me mad. Every year I think it won't happen but it does, for days there's just stuff everywhere.