How to make xmas special

[Ironess]

This year xmas is going to be hard.
My DP is at work all day.
My DM has lung cancer and head her last of 25 sessions of radiotherapy on the 23rd as well as chemo.
My children are young, 7 and 4, and I'm struggling to think of ways to still make this day special.

I'm struggling in general so that's probably why I can't think logically.

Ordinarily my mum spends all day with us, I just don't think that will be possible this year.

Anyway any ideas will be gratefully received, many thanks.

I'm sorry to hear it's a difficult time atm.

I'd plan the day around your mums visit, talk to her about what she's like to do and how long she can manage.

Then split into before she comes, whilst she's there and afterwards.

Sorry you’re going through this.
Is it an option to take the children and spend it at your Mum’s? If she gets tired she can have a nap or some quiet time upstairs. Could your partner come over for dinner after work?

Will you be seeing your mum? I’d make it all about her too. Get your kids involved in making something for her. Spend some time with her even if you’re all just watching a film together.
It will be special for the kids anyway if they’ll be watching Christmas films and getting their gifts in the morning.

Thank you for replying.
Dp will see them open their presents then will be at work til 9pm. Unable to come home unfortunately.

We'll spend as much time with Mum as we can but she's been very poorly after her chemo sessions so an hour or two will be the most she can manage.

I'll buy in nice food and play board games with them.
It just won't be the xmas they're used to and it just makes me sad, for myself as much as them.

So you have to get creative with fun special things. Maybe given them an hour or so to be in charge of what the three of you do. They can pick the game or film or whatever. Special hot choc and popcorn watching something under a blanket. Get them to pick fav foods for tea.

Check the tv schedules for a good movie and snuggle up together to watch that - maybe with some microwave popcorn and a drink.

Organize a nice meal during the day for you and DCs - not necessarily a roast but something they would enjoy. Possibly do a larger “Christmas dinner” meal (whether that’s turkey or something else) a different day that DP is around.

Take pressure off DM. Call o her for a while - IF she’s up to that - but not for a meal. Maybe bring a surprise present or a tasty tempting plate of things she might manage - I presume she won’t want much to eat but you’ll know best what she is capable of generally. And while she is probably not having alcohol, is there something different that would be really nice for her to drink? Schloer, J2O, Appletiser, elderflower cordial....

At home, have the radio on in the background, for happy tunes. Try to have some of DCs presents toys that they will get stuck into for a while and hopefully play together. Yes board games at some point . Tv at some point. Get them to “help” with cooking - setting the table with crackers or Christmas paper napkins, opening packets and decanting to plates, maybe even helping with prep if that works ok.

And make a game of tidying up after opening presents to let them play away - get a big sack or box and everyone helps put the wrapping into it for recycling. Then they get to have all the space to play while you ... make a peaceful cup of tea/relaxed shower/ring DM or DP/ etc.

Is it possible to move xmas day to Boxing Day so DP can be there? I’d take it at a slow relaxed pace this year. As pp’s have said go with how your DM is feeling and just let the kids play.