How would you make pre-Christmas special when they're away from home for Christmas Eve?

[KaterMurr]

So, Ex-H and I split up this year and we're planning on the kids being at his for Christmas Eve and back to mine for Christmas morning from 9:30am, though the exact details haven't been ironed out yet. He prefers Xmas Eve anyway, and I feel like if I get them for Christmas Day I'll be OK, even though I'm sad we won't get to do lots of big Christmas things together. Ex-H is kind of Scroogey and likely won't do much that special with them, so I'd like to make sure they get some Christmas Eve magic from me, anyway. So far I'm thinking of just acting a bit like the 23rd is our Christmas Eve:

• Put present sacks and/or drink and snack for Santa the night before they go to their dad's house before Xmas.
• Give them a new Christmas book to read with me the night before they go.
• Wrapping a 'first thing to open' present which has chocolate coins and new PJs so they change into their PJs before opening the rest of their presents on Christmas morning. Opening presents fully dressed etc. just seems wrong to me. I was also wondering about leaving this present out and saying santa brought it early before they go so they know that's the first thing they can open when they get back.

Any other ideas?

I basically just want to build up all the excitement so they're excited about coming back for Christmas, just as they'd be excited about waking up on Christmas morning. Their dad will basically do a basic roast dinner on Christmas Eve and give them a few presents each - he doesn't do much else - so I really want to keep the magic of Christmas alive for them despite that. (I love Christmas!)

How old are they? Do they believe in Santa? And if so will the gifts from your exH be Santa gifts or only the ones at your house? I’d suggest having a letter from Santa/elves mysteriously arrive letting them know that He knows where they’ll be and that he’ll leave some presents with their dad or he’ll deliver them all to your house or whatever. Just a good solid reassurance for them amid all the change.

Honestly I wouldn’t get hung up on the pjs vs clothes thing. I think making them change their clothes is forcing it a bit. Having something like Santa hats and Christmas jumpers might feel more natural. But even that I wouldn’t make a big deal of.

Basically I’d keep the customs that feel natural. You can still bake, wrap gifts, watch movies, play games, read stories. Setting out Santa’s plate is great but let them choose a snack and drink that makes sense to them so something wrapped/sealed rather than milk and cookies that will obviously go off. You could even make a big production of closing the living room door and locking it so they’ll be the first ones in when they get home (if that’s something they’d like)

And I’d try and generate a bit of positivity about spending Christmas Eve with their dad. Maybe play up the travelling around like the holy family if that’s something your family would talk about, or travelling around like Santa. You could also let them bring new pjs, a dvd and bake special Christmas treats to bring with them so that they’re coming with a bit of their own Christmas cheer rather than relying on their dad for it all.

Thanks, those are really helpful suggestions. They're 3 and 5, so still quite little. I like the idea of baking something they can take to their dad's house, and I could maybe give them a couple of little early presents they can take with them too - a new Christmas book and a stocking filler perhaps.

Can you find a carol or Christingle service to go to? Personally I don’t like the idea that Christmas is just about ‘presents’. Can you go for a walk and look at Christmas lights, or just have a special meal and watch a film, play a new board game together. Could you invite another single mum and children round for a Christmas tea?

I agree about the Christmas PJs - I’d just do Christmas slippers instead that can just slip on to be all cosy.
And don’t say that ‘Santa came early’! Part of the magic is that he only comes on Christmas Eve!
So that they’re excited about coming back to yours on Christmas Day:
Get them to help choose the crackers that will be used at yours for dinner. You could even lay the table together all ready for when they get back.
Let them choose or help make a special pudding for the Christmas dinner.
Get them involved in making a Christmas Day play list.

What time will they leave you on Christmas Eve? Would you have time for a ‘North Pole Breakfast’? You can find lots of examples on Pinterest. We do a toned down version of this on Christmas morning. The dc know it’s my doing and not left by Santa or the elves, and it’s just normal breakfast, not a sugar rush. It’s basically just a childish table setting with our collection of mismatched crockery and snowman wrappers on the glasses with little ribbon scarves and other nonsense like that. The dc absolutely love it.

Last year I changed Christmas eve to be Christmas day. My DC are older than yours, but we wanted to do all the things that we normally do (Christmas eve boxes on the eve before, presents and lunch etc.), but it was their dad's turn to have them.

It worked so well that I was honestly confused when I saw that I'm having them this year as thought I had them last year. They had two Christmas days and on the actual day I was able to focus on my nan who is sadly no longer with us.

Celebrate and tell them it's amazing to have two Christmases[santa]

I would send them with a Christmas DVD, a board game and plenty of snacks! Just in case he has forgotten these. Maybe help them to make and wrap a present for their dad. My DC used to like potting up planted baskets when they were little or some gingerbread men?

If their Dad's not really into Christmas, I'd collect them Christmas Eve after tea. Seems a shame for you to miss out on the exciting bits when he's not that bothered.