Christmas morning with an only child.... how can we make it feel special?

[cavycavy]

For background, my only reference for Christmas was growing up with 2 older DB’s. They, and my parents, made Christmas magical. The morning in particular felt full of life and excitement, just by us kids all being together.

Now I have a family of my own, me my DH and our 4/5yo DD.

Last year I felt a tinge of sadness in the morning that she had no siblings to get excited and open presents with. Obviously we get excited with her and make it special but I can’t help thinking she’s missing out. More than anything it felt really..... quiet! (Even with Michael buble on at 6am!!)

So what can I do to differently this year?

We have all 4 grandparents coming for Christmas dinner. They will be here from around 10 I expect and they are great fun and will liven things up a bit. So it’s just filling those first few hours.

Or should I just accept that DD’s christmas mornings are different to mine and that it’s no big deal?

You do just have to accept it to some extent. It is what it is. She will know no different so it’s just you who feels it being less exciting for her, she probably thinks it’s the most exciting day ever with presents and music playing and grandparents arriving with more presents!

Yes that’s a good point, she knows no different. I’m in a nostalgic mood and thinking about how our Christmas’ when I was growing up were amazing, busy, almost chaotic but full of laughter and fun. Now they feel so quiet! Well.... until the grandparents arrive, and hopefully one of my brothers and his family will pop around too.

I want it to feel less quiet I think. Perhaps less about simply watching DD opening her presents..... ???? Does that make sense?

Like we need to start our own Christmas morning tradition that suits our small family.

Maybe I will get a BFP for Christmas!!!!(although kind of given up on hope for that).

I am an only child and Christmas always felt magical and wonderful. I can see how it can be hard to understand if you have siblings, but your dc has you and that's all they need!

I agree with PP . I only have I DS too.

Some suggestions which you may like or hate but FWIW - whilst they still believe in the magic of it all perhaps do the FC footprints outside, we did DS pancakes for breakfast with edible glitter on with magic hot chocolate which he loved before everyone else arrived.

Snuggled opening sack upstairs at unearthly hour of day ! Getting something for the sack that you can play with /use straight away. One year we bought those wind up racing toys from TIger and we all had one in our sacks and we bought one for each grandparent which we wrapped and hung on tree after DS had gone to bed and when they arrived we had a massive fun contest with obstacle courses and all.

The thing he remembers the most is that he went to bed on Christmas Eve and when he woke up not only had FC left a sack but had left a Christmas duvet on his bed which we use now every year since and I expect he will still be wanting to use at 18!

Do your brothers have children? Maybe one year you could rent a holiday house all together so your DD gets to experience that excitement with her cousins.

We have family spread all over, so we do this as it's easier than one family hosting large numbers. It's expensive, but wonderful!

We go to my brother’s- cousins have ‘sleep’ over. They are all under 8, it’s chaotic and crazy- but they love it.

We all (DH, Dc) sat up in bed together opening our Santa presents / presents to each other. Christmas Music on, share a choc reindeer.

Then up, table laid night before for special Xmas breakfast ( a few extra glam touches, give her her drink in a Christmas cup), then music on, lights on the tree, get playing with new toys til guests arrive.

Lovely!

When mine were little we did a treasure hunt, so lots for little clues with little presents leading to something a bit bigger, we did dolls clothes then a doll at the end, or lots of little cars that made a set, when they were older we did charms ending in bracelet.

Stockings, tea and cuddles in bed first thing. Then downstairs to see what's under the tree. Our youngest loves handing out the gifts, perhaps that's a role your DD would enjoy? Our DD squeaks with excitement!

Afterwards why not leave daddy to clear the paper away and have a special time getting ready with DD, pretty dress and a touch of shimmer tend to be loved by many girls.

My ds is only 1 but I worry about this as we have his half siblings eoy for Xmas. So I don't want years just us to be quiet.
We're going to do a big Xmas with my sisters as her son is 8mths younger than mine. So hopefully that will be exciting. Planning toys they can play together with

I'm an only child and I never sat around on christmas morning thinking "Wow, it's quiet" or "I really wish I had brothers and sisters to get excited with". All my christmases were magic snd I genuinely do not believe that I missed out on anything by not having siblings.

Only child here. Totally agree about the handing out gifts thing - so much fun! I used to wake up, find my stocking, then we'd all head down and my parents would have a cup of tea while I fetched gifts from under the tree in turn and we opened them. Probably helped that I was a fairly bossy child! I'm pretty certain my DM deliberately made sure all three of us had a similar number of gifts under the tree to facilitate this, even if it meant wrapping up random things she was buying anyway... ("Oh look, Daddy's got a pair of socks/tub of Roses/ new screwdriver..."). And I always loved seeing them unwrap whatever I'd bought for them - they'd take me shopping individually in advance to choose and would always be very surprised and delighted with what I picked (some Oscar worthy acting, particularly around the quality of my wrapping!).

At the end, there'd always be a satsuma and a few chocolate coins in the toe of my stocking that I was allowed to eat before breakfast. It was the best bit of Christmas Day - just quality time with my parents before the hustle and bustle of other people and cooking and so forth.

I'm sure you'll build your own traditions with your DD and they'll be very special to her, siblings or no siblings. Enjoy!

You’re the only person seeing this as a problem, OP. And given that you’re talking about pregnancy tests, it sounds as if it’s to do with your negative feelings about having an only child, not Christmas. Our DS, 7, never has any other children around at Christmas, but I don’t wish it otherwise, and he certainly doesn’t see anything lacking.

In my experience Christmas is magical and nostalgic because of the christmases you had when you were little. No matter if that was with 5 brothers and sisters or just your parents. Those will be the ones they cherish. It's Christmas, it's magical.

Definitely seeing the world as you saw it is clouding your judgement and I bet your little one has lovely Christmas mornings being the focus of both her parents attention... whereas many of my Xmas photos have me breastfeeding a sibling while my child/ren unwrap in mayhem and I mutter “yes that’s lovely...” when I haven’t even noticed what they got.

Your mornings sound lovely and even if they’re quiet- that’s not a bad thing. It sounds like she will be able to be really present (excuse the pun!) for her morning and her helping give out the gifts is a lovely idea.
Things like some helium balloons in a box or a bubble machine etc would also add some “chaos” to your life if you really wanted it!

Our family Christmas was DCs yelling and various fights going on as certain DSiblings whinged about someone getting something better than them and someone else whinging about a different someone "stealing" their fruit....etc...

DD is an only, and 13. She has had roughly 2 Christmases where we stayed with extended family and had lots of people around at wakeup time. The rest, even when we have been visiting extended family, have been just us 3 in the mornings (we usually rent a cottage for the years we travel - it's too much chaos and we need to be able to escape at times from large families on both sides).

DD has always enjoyed her mornings, but has never been running straight to the room with her stocking - we always go and turn on the coffee first for semi-alert parents! And the radio or other Christmas music gets going as well.

We make a fuss of the stocking, and she enjoys tearing into it. DH and I amble back to the kitchen in due course to get breakfast organised, and DD usually comes with us to do it together - we make Jus-Rol croissants, freshly squeezed oj and more coffee. It is a rare morning that we are not in a rush to get something done or get to school/work or to various training activities etc, so we all enjoy that slower pace.

And afterwards, we have time to shower and get dressed in a relaxed way, there are usually some high jinks involved, before going to mass and doing various visits to relatives. If we are away, it involves a Christmas turkey lunch and a Christmas turkey dinner 15 miles and about 7 hours apart, and getting "home" around midnight (to the cottage). If we are at home, it involves various visits for drinks and nibbles to extended family near us, and home early afternoon to get our own turkey going for an early evening dinner.

DD definitely prefers the Christmas mornings that are just us 3 - there is fun and frolics but not too much absolute chaos like there is in both other houses (DPs and DMILs). It's a very special, magical but relaxed, time for just us 3.

One thing my inlaws do which helps pass the time and makes it last a bit longer is we all sit in a circle with our stockings. We go round one by one and we have to try and guess what the stocking present is. You are allowed one guess then you can open the present. You then move to the next person and so on. who ever guesses the most correct wins. It sounds crap but it's quite a lot of fun, we do it every year

I do think making sure that you and DH have gifts to open will really help (as a PP said, just wrap a bottle of wine or some socks) It's just so your Ds can share the opening with you both rather than just him opening presents while you 2 watch.

We keep most of our gifts to open later in the day, after we get home from visiting, if we are at home. It's a nice way to spend an hour or more, with the fire lit, a glass of something nice to drink in everyone's hand, and some M&S nibbles or nice crisps or something to eat while we wait for the turkey to cook.

If we are "down home", we usually open our gifts to each other either around breakfast time before we leave the cottage for the rest of the day, or we make time to come back for an hour between the 2 houses and do it then. But the other gifts that are often under our tree at home come from both those houses so we will open them in those respective houses at their appropriate times.

Early morning is just the stocking and whatever is from Santa - DD always has a present under the tree from us (usually something quite practical), as well as various presents to all of us from others and her presents to us as well.

I definitely think you’re over thinking this and maybe being a little hard on yourself too. Your Christmas sounds lovely and I’m sure she will treasure them for years to come.

Does she give you and your dh gifts? I think that adds a whole other dimension of excitement; anticipating a gift being opened and the other persons reaction. You could each take her shopping in turn for a gift for the other parent, or do some baking with her.

Another only child here who remembers Christmas as being a really fun, magical time.

I used to go and wake my parents up at some ungodly hour, get into bed with them and start opening my stocking. At some point my DF always went downstairs and put the fire and the Christmas tree lights on and some Christmas music playing in the living room so it'd be all lovely and cosy when we came down. Then my DF would shout "he's been!" and I'd go running downstairs followed by DM. I loved coming down to find a half eaten carrot and Santa's mince pie with a big bite taken out of it. I definitely don't remember ever thinking it was "quiet", I was just excited for Christmas!

I second the idea of getting your DD to hand out presents- I always loved doing that, even if you and DH just get each other a few little token things. My parents would hide a few small gifts in between the Christmas tree branches and other places in the living room and I had to find them which I thought was great fun at your DD's age. While we were opening presents my Parents would always have a glass of Bucks Fizz and I would have orange juice topped up with lemonade but in a champagne flute so it looked just like theirs, which always felt very grown up and special.

It honestly never occurred to me that I was missing out on anything by not having siblings.

Make a playlist of fun, lovely Xmas songs or stick MTV on for background noise to create a fun atmosphere

Get silly and act like kids yourselves...
You or DH dress up in a silly Xmas fancy dress outfit?

Or get matching family Xmas PJ's? Silly/novelty onesies for the 3 of you? She might get a kick out of seeing you all dressed the same? Plus very cute for a Xmas day family photo

Get a family friendly game like that pie face game or similar. I'm sure that would create a bit of a buzz and it would involve all 3 of you

I'm sure she'll have a lovely day!

It's only going to be a problem if you make it one. So don't.
Does she seem sad on Christmas Day? If not, then don't dwell on it.

I am an only child and my childhood Christmasses are still my benchmark for pure happiness.
My dd is an only child, and just the other day was talking about her friend who is into Cosplay- dd said "she's really crazy about it, like us and Christmas"

I think only you will notice this as a problem. DD won't at all because the Christmas mornings have always been the same. I loved Christmas morning as an only with my parents. We got to have breakfast (always white toast) in the lounge in front of the tv. Lots to unwrap and play with, the tree lit. No one rushing off to work. My 4 grandparents would come mid morning and stay all day. It was awesome because they brought more stuff and the house seemed really full and busy even with just me and 6 adults.

However, I get the worry. I'm on my own with DS. His dad has no contact with us and neither does any of his dad's family so Christmas morning is just me&DS then we go to my parents for dinner making a grand total of 4 people! It seems really quiet to me but DS had an amazing day last year when he was 4. He loved it and I don't think he minded just having me in the morning at all. I on the other hand was quite stressed trying to assemble his toys, sort the tv/music, watch the unwrapping, make breakfast, get drinks etc.

Honestly she'll love having you and her dad to herself at the same time and all the fuss of Christmas. The time will fly going to 10am especially with the dinner to do as well. It doesn't matter that it's a different christmas to what you had as a child, it'll still be special to her.