I'm panicking...

[Zaphodsotherhead]

I usually push the boat out at Christmas. Four of the five adult children come to me and revert to gleeful childhood, pillowcases of presents under the tree, blowout dinner, board games, everyone sleeping on the floor on Christmas Eve...you get the picture.

This year I'm saving for a house move and I haven't even STARTED Christmas shopping yet. I've told them it's going to be a 'thin' Christmas - but i don't think I can actually do it!

WHAT can I get my two sons (30, 25) and two daughters (29, 23) that will fill pillowcases (to ease my guilt) not cost too much (so I can move house) and be useful?

I've left it too late, haven't I? Oh god, tell me I haven't left it too late....

I don't start shopping until I get paid mid November. There is ages yet!

I wouldn’t do balloons , they are Very environmentally unfriendly.

YOU HAVE NOT LEFT IT TOO LATE!!! Amazon does 1 day delivery! ad its still only 6 November.
Some of these suggestions sound really good, but if you are having to have a "thin" Christmas I think pillowcases of even cheapish items for four adults would really add up without actually being anything substantial IYSWIM.. eg socks for everyone £10-15 x 4.. same with blankets.. Fancy Biscuits £5 x 4 and so on.. you could end up spending quite a lot on nothing and presumably you've still got to pay for the tree and all the food on top of that too.
I'd rather set a budget of say £25 each - £100 for 4... or as some have suggested...everyone does a secret santa pillowcase (I hope you get one too!) with a budget. That cuts the shopping and the cost.
Its about them all getting together more than presents as I keep telling my lot of earplugged people. I hope you have a lovely time x

Erm..it's the beginning of November. In the nicest possible way- get a grip! I have kids and haven't got anything yet.

I've bought nothing yet!

It's really tricky without knowing what you usually get them. Are you a "one main and a few little pressies" type? Are the pillowcases instead of stockings and more small/novel items? What do you spend typically per child?

What I put in DS stocking Vs what goes under the tree are very different answers.

Was just coming on to say why don't you do it like a secret Santa then you get a pillowcase too! Or if siblings do gifts they could go in the pillowcase to ease you having to fill them.

Or you could just speak to your children and tell them you're saving for a house so not doing big gifts but get some games etc to make it fun still. I would totally understand if my parents chose to do this and would still want to spend time with them

It's the 6th Nov, why all the drama?

Xmas talk in our house (apart from maybe planning family visits) is banned until Guy Fawkes day is over.

Couple of bags of Tyrells crisps should help.

For next year I would suggest you each do one stocking, names out of a hat.

You can have all the fun and joy of your traditional Christmas without having to do everything exactly as you’ve always done it. When you find yourself trying to think of stuff to bulk out a pillow case (so a Christmas sack essentially) for adults then I think it’s time to stop and think. You’re now getting into ‘buying for the sake of buying’ but these are adults ranging from 23 to 30, they don’t need and very likely don’t want piles of filler gifts.

Christmas is not going to be ruined because your adult dc aren’t reliving their childhood Christmases in every way. They’re more than old enough to understand that you can’t afford it this year and I’m assuming you raised decent people who wouldn’t expect one adult to fret over providing expensive gifts for four other adults! In all honesty I wouldn’t have liked my parents to carry on that aspect of our childhood Christmasses, I feel like as an adult gift giving should be on a more ‘equal’ basis for want of a better term. Maybe it’s time to ring the changes.

blankets, scarves, gloves, dressign gown

Agree with PP. Your way of doing Christmas sounds lovely, but now the children are all
adults, maybe it’s time to mix things up a bit. I sometimes find the whole “but that’s the way we’ve always done it” a bit stifling, and almost forces us all to regress to our teenage selves rather than the adults we are now.

I don’t mean having any less fun, but it’s ok not to have pillow cases full of gifts etc, and to put some of the planning/arranging/
buying onto the others. They may enjoy the opportunity to contribute.

Talk to them and explain.

Maybe just spend the budget on food and drink and a game for the day that you will all enjoy. Change the pillowcases into socks. One thoughtful gift each, a book or similar. Sounds like the family experience is what you really enjoy.

Maybe you could buy them a new stocking each, plus one for you.

Playing board games, sleeping under the tree & being together won’t cost you anything (assuming as a family you all already have board games to bring).

Am also assuming the slightly hysterical tone in your post is ‘light-hearted’ otherwise you are being ridiculous.

@Zaphodsotherhead calm down. It's early November. The shops will be open until Xmas eve. If you stop treating your adult children like 5 year olds and buy them one or 2 things to wrap up and put under the tree you will save yourself £££ and stress.

They are adults. Tell them you cant afford to do the extravagant Christmas this year to to other priorities. I'm sure you'll still have a wonderful Christmas.

Ace.. My mom does this for. Us and we adore her.
So we get a section box or similar bulky and like 4 quid. New pants, new socks and slippers or pj's something (6 quid in primark) - bulky but cheap. Then a personal present. Mom spends around 40quid on each of us and we get loads.
Defo not left it too late!!

B & M and home bargains are great. You can get a massive tub of sweets for £2.99 big candles for a couple of pounds, i got a box of nail varnishes £1.99. There's take out coffee cups, hot chocolate and hot water bottle gift sets for around £5 and all sorts of novelty gifts

Love the idea of a secret santa pillowcase

I’d think along the lines of
fluffy things: fluffy blanket, pyjamas, socks
Inflatables: bath pillow, pool toy (if appropriate), travel pillow, small gift inside a balloon.
Bulky packages of food: pringles, popcorn, crisps, multi packet of cereal, selection box, (judge for yourself whether they’d appreciate these)

But, I’d be very upset if my dm was putting herself under financial strain on my behalf. Upset that she couldn’t be straight with me about that. Sometimes dc, even adult dc, don’t engage their brains properly when it cones to their own dps so things have to be spelled out. It’s not too late to suggest a secret Santa where everyone looks after one of the pillowcases for one year.

Sort out your budget, what you can afford to spend, and then stick to that. You can have a lovely Christmas without breaking the bank and it’s very obvious that you’re already providing the essentials of a lovely atmosphere and a welcoming home, things that can’t be bought.

I bet they'd rather you didn't. They probably revert to 'gleeful' childhood because they know you've made the effort and love having them home. Not because they really enjoy opening and playing with a pillow case full of stuff.. which they then have to store/bin afterwards. You could get some snacks/treats and a board game for the day, but I bet you'd be the only one who would notice there weren't pillowcases there!

OP I think perhaps you need this....

They are adults. Time to downgrade the Christmas gifting. Tell them honestly that you are saving to move and have not got the cash this year. Buy them one nice gift each and fill a stocking with small bits and bobs.

Thank you to all of you!

Yes, the tone of this is slightly lighthearted, but I work in retail and Christmas for us started somewhere around August! Plus there's only one operable pay day between now and Christmas, so I need to get stuff sorted!

Home made cakes sound brilliant. They know I'm moving and that it will be a less prolific Christmas than the past, and have suggested a few things that they'd like to receive, which helps.

They all buy for each other (and for me, most generously!) too, so with all their gifts, me scaling back will be less noticeable.

Thank you all for the suggestions!