To buy or not to brothers girlfriend a present?

[Starlet79]

He’s been with her for a while, never actually met her. He’s always at hers if I pop to my mums.. Never had the opportunity. Me and brother have a large ish age gap and aren’t overly close.

She’s supposedly spending Christmas at my mums this year.

We aren’t spending Christmas at my mums as such but will be popping over for an hour or so in the morning.

If she’s going to be there do I need to buy her a present?

Bearing in mind she’s 18.. no idea what she’s into!

No not really because the whole point of Christmas (imho) is not just to exchange shopping lists. Otherwise we could all just go out and buy a gift for ourselves and everybody would actually be happy! Plus unless brother is particularly good at buying presents he probably has even less of a clue as to what she’d actually like...

Granted this is why we just don’t do gifts for adults.

I agree that's true if you're buying for people you know, and can therefore predict what's likely to be appreciated - but in this case, the OP has never even met the recipient. Better an exchange of shopping lists than an exchange of stuff that goes straight to charity.

And finding out what someone likes needn't be as precise as an exchange of shopping lists - it doesn't have to be a specific item - it could just be 'pyjamas in size 10' or 'posh chocolates' for example.

Are u getting ur brother something specific? If not I'd get them a joint present, bottle of drink or vouchers and put her name on the card with his. If she hasn't got you anything she might feel awkward on the day if u get her a seperate present to ur brother

I think the joint gift idea is lovely! What about an experience for two, like a spa day, theatre/cinema, or a meal?

Thanks all. I am just unsure if it will be awkward buying her a gift or not buying her one. I have social anxiety and hate meeting new people anyway.. which doesn’t help 🤭 you’d think at nearly 30 I could deal with meeting my brothers girlfriend 🤣

I am thinking joint present of some kind. I struggle to find something suitable for my brother anyway!

I would buy a joint present for them both and put her name in the label. Restaurant voucher and a bottle of wine for example. I'd worry about buying something specifically for her that she may feel awkward if she hasn't brought you anything.

Joint gift all the way in the circumstances, cinema voucher or a voucher for meal at somewhere like Nando's.