Stopping buying for siblings

[AmIThough]

I need to send a message to my siblings to tell them we're not doing Xmas presents for the adults this year (excluding parents).
It's my first Xmas with DD and on mat pay so it's just not affordable.

I don't expect gifts for DD but I know some of them specifically want to buy her something. I will be buying gifts for nephews and nieces.

I know this sounds pathetic but please help me word a message that doesn't sound mean or grabby!

I think it’s getting a bit late to send such a message. I’m sure someone will help you with the wording soon.

Agree with pp. Lots of people have already started Christmas shopping so I think you've left it a bit late.

This might sound very old fashioned but have you thought of calling them ? They might actually be relieved

Please do it over the 'phone/in person.

It's very easy to misread the intention of a text/email.

I had a chat with my family over a month ago as I'm due to have our first very soon. They all understood completely. However they may have started shopping already? You'll know better than me if that's likely.
I just said as we'll have the wee guy and money is a bit tighter than usual we won't have money like we have in previous years. I only have my mum and my sister so I still intend to get them a small present but we've set a limit of £15 per person which they've agreed to as well.

Me and my sister have done this for the first time this year. We agreed it in August.

I think you’re a bit late in the day to mention it now!

I have already mentioned it to most face-to-face much earlier in the year (there are a lot of us) and those I haven't mentioned it to bulk buy a load of generic presents and then gift them randomly so not worried about it being too late.

I just want to reiterate because they can sometimes get carried away!

Call your siblings and explain that you've realized that you cannot afford to buy for them but will still be purchasing for their children.

I was on the receiving end of this suggestion from my sister a few years ago. We are four siblings and I think at that point we had 6 children between us. It was a massive relief as it was all getting so expensive!

We have a sibling WhatsApp group and we were all asking for pressie suggestions for the little ones and my sister just sent a message saying, ‘Can I make a suggestion? How about we just buy for the children this year? Money is a bit tight at the mo and it would just make things a bit easier. Does anyone mind?’ To which we all replied, ‘no, great idea’ and it has carried on like that every year since...just as well, as there’s 9 children now so we also just do a £5 budget per child to keep it more affordable! I do think we had the chat earlier than November though. What we sometimes do, usually only if we are all together for Christmas, is we’ll do a secret Santa between siblings and just a small budget. That works well.

I have a sibling that once asked if we could not do gifts a week before Christmas . I am fine with not doing gifts if not spending christnas day together, but it is quite miserable if you are. Definitely speak up ASAP.

We don't do sibling presents now that everyone has children of their own, but we do do a secret santa amongst the siblings & partners with a £15 budget so we still get to do some sort of gift exchange with a little something for each person to open. This is WAY better than trying to come up with something to buy for each of them!

I messaged my brother last year and said 'hey XXXX, since we both have children and houses full of stuff, how about we just buy presents for the boys and stop exchanging gifts? Feels like we just buy stuff off each others amazon lists.'

He replied saying 'yup great, money is tight for us with mat leave etc'

We're pretty direct with each other though and my brother is very laid back.

I've told DH to do this with his sister, she doesn't start Christmas shopping until 20 Dec so he just needs to do it before then.