Do you do joint gifts for adult gifts with partners?

[HolyGuac]

I'm doubting myself a little as to what to do. Hopefully you lovely mumsnetters might have some ideas or experience to share.

My Son has a girlfriend who is part of the family now, they've been together for two years this January.
Last year I gave my son usual mix of gifts and cash as I've done the previous few years, he is 26 if this has any bearing on the situation.
I bought gifts for his girlfriend but didn't spend quite the same as I did on him.
I did give him cash toward a trip they were making a few weeks later. At this point they were not as serious and future planning as they are now.

This year I'm wondering if I should do a joint gift? Keep things separate ? I'm
Just not sure?

My parents do spend about the same on my husband and I but buy separate gifts. Parents in law give us a £100 to share between us as a couple.

Should I go joint gift? Give cash jointly? Carry on with separate but nice gifts? Put cash in his account?
They are not living together yet, she spends a couple of nights at ours per week, they are saving for a place together.
Any ideas greatly received.

I would carry on as you are for now, certainly that's how it works in my family, my mum spends more on me than she does my husband. But then that said I've just realised I buy a joint gift for my DB and SIL!

I don't think I would do joint gifts at least until they are living together though.

I buy separate gifts for my brother and his partner. Maybe ask your son what he thinks? They might just want the cash if they are saving up for a deposit anyway.

Separate gifts here, but the partner will get a smaller, cheaper gift.

Last year, we bought SIL and her partner restaurant vouchers as an Xmas gift. There is a bit of a backstory to this....
... SIL has been with her boyfriend for over a year by last Xmas (so 2nd Xmas together). Very on/off and dramatic rows and make ups etc. Despite him practically living at MILs, we barely saw him as he was always in SiLs bedroom with her.
It felt disingenuous to give him a present as we barely knew him and their relationship wasn't exactly stable. So we thought restaurant vouchers would be a good compromise, as it was something we could address to then both ( but SIL could use if they weren't together).

Restaurant voucher is a good idea, I will do sons gifts as per usual
Give her something to open and the get a restaurant voucher to be shared.

My dc are young so won’t be in this position for a while yet. With siblings and friends I’ve given joint gifts once they are living together - usually something for the house or garden, or something like concert/show tickets.

Dh’s parents give him a very generous cash gift, usually presented in a mug or pair of socks which is my gift. DH finds this hilarious and loudly draws my attention to the gift they’ve given us so that I can thank them too, to mil’s obvious discomfort, and then pretends to take the hump that I got fluffy socks as well and he didn’t. Of course it’s their prerogative to treat their ds and I’d be quite happy with a pair of socks. But surely it’s a credit to their values and upbringing that he sees all money as family money rather than as his personal pocket money.

My dps give everyone -adults, children, in-laws, outlaws alike - a €20-ish gift.

I give my siblings and their partners separate gifts and admittedly I spend less on the partners than I do my siblings.

My mum also gives them all separate gifts and where she spends about £50 each on the partners, she spends an awful lot more on her own children.

If I was you I'd continue as you have been!

My mum and dad always bought separate presents for new and DH. Didn't spend as much on him as me, but around about £100 on him. Last year for the first (and last) time one of our gifts was a joint one - a weekend away and tickets to an immersive dining experience. We still got individual presents as well, but the main gift was the joint one.

*me not new. We were together for 20 years.

Definitely separate gifts until they move in together them joint gifts/cash.

The first Christmas I spent with my now DH, his parents got me some little bits and pieces. From the second Christmas onwards (by which time we were living together) they very generously gave us equal cash gifts. Completely unexpected and very much appreciated as it made me feel very much part of the family.

Thanks for the insights.
I shall carry on pretty much as we are now then and maybe change to a joint gift once they are living together.