Age 7&10 DD’s - is it a cop out buying beds as Xmas presents?

[flissity]

Am trying to decide this...

They both need new beds and ideally I know they’d like something like a high sleeper/cabin bed.

Would it be an acceptable xmas present?? Along with other stuff as well of course. Plus they have 6 aunties/uncles who they get presents off and 3 sets grandparents. So won’t go short on stuff.

There’s just no other ‘big’ presents they really need.
Was thinking can get bed covers and lamp etc to make it all exciting f...

Mine bought me a chest freezer a few years back. Best present he's ever bought me.

How can a chest freezer be anything but a family item?
Unless you are a taxidermist and using it to freeze corpses?

Sounds like it was one of those items which can only be used by a person with ovaries.

We do "want, need, wear, read" too.

How depressing.
A life of Christmases full of toiletries and clothes.

@Winteriscomingfast - that depends, doesn't it? If I was given a blue silk velvet jacket or a long cashmere cardigan, (wear) Margaret Atwood's The Testament, (read), a rosemary bush or a kayak (want) and some new super fluffy bathroom towels (need) I'd be really happy. I can;t think of a better haul. What would you like that want, need, wear and read don't cover?

@milliefiori Yes but the average child’s idea of a brilliant “haul” would be quite different to that 🤣😂

@Winteriscomingfast so you have never given PJ's, clothes, shower gel, tool kit, torch etc as a present. All things I have given, all things the recipient has asked for and wanted.
I don't understand how you don't end up with too much stuff if none of your gifts are practical.
Particularly for adults, nearly everything on my Christmas list this year is practical I've asked for a new dress, some wellies, a pretty bedside lamp, some bath bits.

Just because it has a function doesn't make it boring. It means thought has gone into it and someone will really use it. I would much rather a practical present than a gimmicky one for the sake of it.

What would you like that want, need, wear and read don't cover?

I might want 4 toys/gadgets but I get some knickers (wear or need) and a can of lynx (need).

I just think the whole sanctimonious approach to gift giving is seen as some kind of virtue when it shouldn't be. I have never overdone Christmas but it is fun and getting a stocking here is exciting (everything comes from Santa- age 0-89)

Anything children NEED should not be passed off as a gift.

Towels as a gift? If you need them for the home then buy them. Another ovary driven gift? Or does your DH/DP ask for the hand towels?

I actually ask for nothing at all. I don't want or need anything that I can't buy for myself. I don't want a charity donation in my name. Save your money and spend it on yourselves.

I don't understand how you don't end up with too much stuff if none of your gifts are practical.

Personally I don't get any gifts. It has taken a few years to get givers to this point!

My DC are at uni- as a family we do occasionally buy items if we see something another person will love- whatever the time of year. No buying for buyings sake,

It is incredibly liberating.

Sounds like it was one of those items which can only be used by a person with ovaries.

Would you label the carpet cleaner I bought him last year for Christmas a present for someone with ovaries too? I cook, he cleans...it works for us because I'm the far better cook and he finds scrubbing things relaxing. Stereotypical gender roles do not come into it.

If a person likes a practical present, then practical presents are the way forward. Apparently as a small child, the only thing I loved out of my massive pile of gifts was the toothbrush I always got in my stocking. Not totally convinced I've changed.

You gave your DH carpet cleaner as a Christmas present?!

Beds are perfectly fine, OP.

They're your children OP, you know best how they will react to new beds. If my kids asked for new beds and got them as part of Christmas they would be pleased and grateful, however I wouldn't pass something like that off as a Christmas present if they hadn't specifically expressed an interest. Oh and my kids love new bedding sets!

You gave your DH carpet cleaner as a Christmas present?!

Yep, I asked him what he wanted. He said a carpet cleaner, I double checked because I'd be filing for divorce if he bought me one and then I bought it.

Would you label the carpet cleaner I bought him last year for Christmas a present for someone with ovaries too?

It is a household item. Buy it if you need it but don't try and badge it up as a gift.

When my DCs were teens they got pile upon pile of Boots 3 for 2 lynx sets/shaving sets/body wash. Not a gift in anyway! The givers didn't give the girls sanpro but in some way if you put a personal hygiene product in a box it become a suitable gift. It isn't.

Most teens have deodorant bought by their parents. So arguably it saved the parents a few £ across the year but no joy for the receiver.

People have strange ideas about what a good gift is.
A bed is not a good idea for a gift for any child imo.
Whatever next? A toothbrush? A voucher for a dental check up?
I agree with Winteriscomingfast

Towels as a gift? If you need them for the home then buy them. Another ovary driven gift? Or does your DH/DP ask for the hand towels?

No DP would see the towels we've had since we married 25 years ago as still perfectly serviceable, which they are I suppose. I mean they still work as towels but they are a bit greyish and thinning now and I'd like some big fluffy ones but can't quite justify buying new ones when we have stacks of towels in reasonable condition.

And maybe it's ovary-driven to think my DC will love feeling cosy in new towels but nowt wrong with having ovaries or the pleasure that their oxytocin-induced rushes give you.

I got a new bed for my birthday once, my parents put it together while I was at school and got me some new cushions and covers. I got other gifts too but I can't remember what, just the excitement of a new bed x

I think a new bed that's not an essential as they already have a bed is a nice idea if you also do the new bedding and a lava lamp.

You know your DC better than us OP. If they would be excited about this and love it then yes do it.

Just chuckling at the towel comments as my poor children are getting towels for Christmas! They are however lovely thick hooded beach towels that they can change under. My DH has one and the kids constantly fight over it (big watersports family) as it is so gorgeously warm. So they are both getting one for Christmas. Towels might not be the most exciting present for most kids but I know mine will be chuffed!

Does the youngest believe in Santa? If so then no it's a bad idea.

Otherwise talk to them, give them the option of a replacement bed, or a fancy bed but it will be an Xmas present.

I think it is important to actually talk to kids, my dad always resented getting clothes for Xmas as these were not 'presents', so my brother and I never got clothes as presents, but my dad was never a teenage girl who would quite like clothes.

Another reason for talking is that you can get the beds early (do Ikea do black Friday?). My brother and I both have winter birthdays so one year we both got bilkes as a birthday present, but we got them the week the summer holidays started on the understanding we would only get a token present on the actual day.

I think it depends. At 10 DD would have definitely wanted a say in what furnitures she likes so a surprise bed would have been a disaster.

She will be 13 next year and gets a room makeover for her birthday, delayed by 2 years for various reasons, but as soon as we started talking about it she had all kind of ideas, especially about her bed. I want a long term solution so we have to be careful what to choose.

We gave bedding, fancy pillows and fluffy blankets as presents, mostly because they were related to Harry Potter or one she really doesn’t need. but want. In these cases I think it is ok to do it as a present, if it would have been an essential replacement I wouldn’t do it.

If your 10 year old doesn’t believe anymore I would take her aside and talk to her, she may give you enough intel to see if it would be appreciated or not.

OP, this is Mumsnet. Get them a toothbrush, pants and a bath bomb. A fancy high sleeper bed that could have a futon for sleepovers or even a den underneath is just BORING...

Ignore all the 'mean' comments. Some families have the budget to treat things like furniture upgrades as 'essential' - for others, it really is something special, and the kids generally know it. Our boys had a bedroom makeover for their birthdays this year; they were turning 14, and were thrilled. They also got fancy new car seats for their 3rd birthday. They were excited about those, too.

I wouldn’t either, needs for children should be provided when they arise. Christmas is about magic at that age, it doesn’t have to be expensive just fun.

That does seem a bit mean.
It’s not really a present and it’s something you are meant to provide as parents.

You could get some nice accessories from Claire’s etc to go on their new beds though?

Really depends on what the children are like. OPs might be thrilled, mine would cry.