Last year I forgot DS! Help this year.

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So he main gift was money ( he’s a teen ). He had an Amazon list for other family members to get stuff. So I’m thinking about Christmas from October and what to buy him and in my head I got most of it. In reality I had enough for stocking gifts and the money.

It was bloody awful. My DP and his DD bought him a gift each but DP bought me and his DD loads. He was obviously expecting DS to have a similar amount of gifts from me.I felt so bad for DS.

What to do this year? DS didn’t seem that bothered but who knows. He wouldn’t want to upset me my telling me. He has his Amazon list but money is less appropriate as he is fundraising for a big school trip - all cash should go there.

How do I do Christmas this year? Less gifts for everyone so it feels like a Christmas-trend, tons for DS or what?

Can you think of imaginative ways of giving him the money? When dd1 just wanted money I wrapped individual notes in a variety of boxes so she got a similar number of presents as dd2, but each one contained cash.

What does he actually want? My dd really just wants money (she's 20 now, it's been cash for presents for a few years now), she wants to be able to choose things for herself rather than me get something almost right but not quite. So cash wrapped in different sized boxes is the way we'll be going again this year.

What about gifts that he will need for his school trip? Clothes, bag, luggage case, wash bag and contents, wallet, maps etc
All things he needs but will bulk up his pile.

Thanks. I do give him money every year - a money tree was the last one on a big cardboard Christmas tree in a gift wrapped box but obviously all the money goes straight on his trip. So not much of a present.

I wanted to know about actual gifts . Do a I get him more to make up for last year or just keep it low key since he didn’t seem bothered. In fact I’ve just asked him and he said it was all in my head. But really he had no presents!
Is he just actually just very sensible or completely traumatised! I am.

I dont know how you managed to forget you'd not got your kid anything?

I'd get him what you normally would (off his list) and give him whatever you can afford on top towards his trip.

I think he was 'bothered' personally.

Surely you start by talking to DP a bit more, and making sure the children are treated conspicuously equally this time.

I don't think you need to go overboard on gifts this year but you need to make sure he feels equal.

You could also take him out for a treat round christmas, not as a gift but to spoil him a bit.

I genuinely think most teens would rather have the cash than have lots of little presents. I'm a teacher and loads of kids get contributions to larger school trips as their main Christmas present and just get a stocking on top of that lots of them just get a stocking and nothing else, but that's a different thread. If you've asked him, and he's said he wasn't bothered and it's in your head, trust him on that. He doesn't want you to waste money on other stuff, he wants all the money you've budgeted for him to go on this trip that he's saving up for.

It makes sense, but from a parental point of view you miss the wow factor of the big pile of stuff that you used to get him as a younger child. He's honestly fine with it, assuming he's anything like the teens I teach.

I would chat with partner ensure kids have equal number of things to open.
You could do some daft food gifts, box of his favourite crisps, big bar of chocolate etc. Things he'll need for the trip.