Please help me celebrate Christmas!

[CrazyPineapple]

So my DH and I are ex-jehovahs witnesses.
But my parents and my husband's parents are still very much part of that religion (As are our extended families... so all aunts, uncles, cousins etc) so no Christmas celebrating relatives, sadly.
I struggled last year, our first year celebrating, as I've never celebrated one (neither has my husband)! It just ended up a ton of presents and confusion!

I'd like to ask you all what I should be doing for Christmas. Build up to Christmas, Christmas day etc... I have a DS4 who I want to make it truly special for... It all feels so alien to me.
He believes in Santa etc, but does 1 present come from Santa or all of them etc?
HELP guide me, I feel like an absolute idiot!
Thank you.

@CrazyPineapple when I first made the book advent I bought a load of cheap, second hand mostly, books and they come out every year on December 1st. They live in a basket next to the fire throughout December and I've replaced a few as the dc have got older to keep them appropriate. They love taking turns to choose a number each day, I think Stick Man is my favourite!

@CrazyPineapple You don't have to do it all, none of it is a must.
We have a fairly laid back Christmas, just the four of us (me, DH and 2 DS's). We get a real tree (which is our new tradition having both grown up with artificial ones). Usually around the 10th ish, but honestly, whenever we get chance. I take the boys to our local garden centre for the amazing Christmas shop and we each choose a new decoration for the tree and sometimes a freestanding one too.
Chocolate advent calendar.
We buy a gingerbread house from Aldi and the boys decorate a roof side each and the rest together.
We don't do Christmas Eve boxes, though I did see a suggestion on here that said to give them on 1st December to get full value out of Christmassy contents that I liked.
Christmas music playing regularly through our Echo Dot.
On Christmas Eve, they lay out a mince pie/beer/carrot on a wooden platter we have. They gave their stockings at the end of the bed.
Christmas morning, they bring their stockings in to us and open them on the bed.
Then we go downstairs and under the tree will be filled.
Some people display gifts under the tree for the whole festive period. I remember that rush as a kid when you opened the door, and there they all were on Christmas morning. It was magical and so exciting. So ours stay hidden until then.

As we've stayed home for the last three years, we have fallen into a new tradition of staying in pyjamas all day. We don't have visitors or go visiting, so we stay comfy. The boys then get out in clean pjs for bed that night.

Our day is very laid back. A lot of building Lego/Playmobil and playing with new toys. Christmas movies on TV. Especially the newest Julia Donaldson adaptation.

There's so many options, don't try to squeeze it all in. You'll just wind up stressing yourself out trying to create the perfect Christmas. Christmas is whatever you want it to be. Don't compare yours to anyone elses.

I also come from a non-Christmas background. While I enjoy the indulgence, I find it all a bit excessive. The focus on giving seems to be very inward-looking, and to ignore our personal good fortune. So we always put something in the stockings for FC to take to children who don't have mummies and daddies and grandparents to give them lots of presents. My dc each choose something of theirs that is in good condition. Obviously I take it to a charity shop after Christmas.

We go to the Giving Tree in the local library, and buy something for it, as well as a Christmas card to go with it.

I always put something in the Food Bank basket when I go shopping, but in the run-up to Christmas I put more in. I generally ask the dc to take the things from the trolley to the FB basket.

As PP said, you don't have to do it all.
The main things needed for a great Christmas are: fun, time with loved ones, some gifts (giving & receiving), home comforts and a little bit of magic.
That can be achieved in all sorts of ways (food, music, walks, books, games). Think about your specific family - what do you do on the weekend? What would you like to spend Christmas Day doing?

Things are slightly different in my house as we have no dc so we go away every other year, but my childhood christmases were as follows:
Christmas music daily from Dec 1st
A tree in the kitchen that we (dsis and I) could decorate how we wanted (and it looked like Christmas vomited on it )
Spending an afternoon in town with parents where we got to pick presents for each other
Giving away some of our things to charity before Christmas
Lots of visits to friends and family
Going to see the wonderfully decorated houses
Being allowed to break a few rules (chocolate coins for breakfast, staying up a little late etc)
Turkey dinner
An after dinner walk to visit both sets of grandparents.

On the Friday closest to 1st Dec I put Christmas bedding on DS & DD beds, fairy lights and a few other decorations in their bedroom whilst DS is at school (& DD napping).
That night, after school, we decorate the tree.
That weekend DH puts up the outdoor Christmas lights.

At some point in the run up to Christmas we walk around the neighbourhood in the evenings looking at all the lights.
We go in to the town centre one weekend evening to see the lights/decorations in the shopping centre and eat dinner in Pizza Express.
DS goes to the panto with my lovely in-laws (DD will go from next year).
We have National Trust membership and they do beautiful Christmas displays in the houses and gardens. We do a couple of days out.
One evening once the children are in bed I'll put a Christmas film on and start wrapping presents. Santa brings one present and the rest are from us/family members etc.
DH & I have a tradition of a takeaway and watching our annual viewing of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation (normally mid-December).

However you decide to do things, have a wonderful time!!

When my DD`s were a lot younger, some of our traditions were
-having a drive round to look at all the lights on nearby houses
-all of us decorating the house, including putting up the tree(fake!!) & decorating it, the 1st weekend of December
-going on the local santa steam train, cost a bit, but worth it-for all of us
-buying a new bauble/ornament for the tree-which we still do
-going into the city centre, to look at the Town Hall Square all decorated up, mainly after the lights swtch on & on a Sunday as we went on the bus, a major treat as we had a car-so went everywhere by car or walking
-going cinema as a family to see a movie, prefably a Christmas movie but if not, the latest movie release in December[santa][santa]
-Christmas eve buffet, with lots of party food, followed by asimple Christmas day breakfast of crossants, warmed in the oven for 5 minutes, while kids opened presents[santa]

It's so nice hearing all your different traditions. And that it's not really about the money you spend. It's difficult to live up to the commercial picture that's shown in adverts and films. Thank you everyone!

Maybe look at all the ideas and work out which ones work for your family. You can add traditions over the years if introducing lots at once is too much, and things evolve anyway. I think every family celebrates differently - there is no right way. Lots and lots of good ideas upthread.
In our house we make mincemeat, Christmas cake and puddings on stir up Sunday (or if that doesn't work another day near by) - we all stir the cake and pudding mix and make a wish. (It is fine to buy these if you prefer, but I love to bake and so do my DDs.) We go to an advent carol service on the first Sunday of advent at a local church. We always go somewhere where each child can choose a tree decoration - by the time they leave home they will each have a collection of familiar decorations to put on their own trees. We have advent calendars that can be reused each year - scenes that you add a different piece to each day to complete the picture - one each. We also have some drawers that I can pop a sweet/chocolate button in for each child so they don't feel left out when their friends have chocolate calendars, but we don't get all the waste they generate. We put the tree up about the 12th, and light the fire, drink hot chocolate and put on Christmas music while we do so. Then we what Christmas films with popcorn in front of the fire. A day or two before Christmas I bake a gingerbread house and the children decorate it - they are a bit bigger now so are talking about baking the house themselves. The Sunday before Christmas we go to a carol service .
Christmas Eve we all get ready for the next day doing last bits of baking, cooking and peeling the veg for the next day. We cook a ham which we have with chips for tea, with lots of leftover ham for the next few days. We go to a Christmas Eve service in the afternoon/early evening. When the children were smaller, this was a crib service, but we might do Midnight Mass this year. I appreciate all these services might not work for you (they don't for most people) but although most churches will be very welcoming, they are used to people coming at Christmas who don't come at other times. After some festive tv in the evening, we leave out a snack for Father Christmas (milk or sherry and a slice of something festive) and the reindeer (carrots and water) and put the kids stockings by the fire. We don't do Christmas eve boxes, but if the children are extra excited we open a single present on Christmas eve - always a book so they can read it until they go to sleep while I do last minute wrapping! (I keep these ready.) Once they were safely in bed, we used to assemble any toys that could not be played with until they were built - e.g. Playmobil sets, dolls house, toy kitchen etc. and put batteries in toys that needed them then wrap these, so they could be played with straight away. It made Christmas Day morning much less stressful and frustrating.

In the morning, FC has been (he brings small presents in the stockings) and the children open their stockings first thing on our bed. Once we are up, we take turns opening our presents (each person does one, then we go round again etc.) before breakfast which is croissants and juice. Then the adults cook lunch together while the children are occupied with their new things, any guests arrive for lunch, and we sit down at about 2.30 for lunch. After lunch we go for a walk, then collapse in a heap in front of the fire. Tea is pretty ad hoc - maybe sandwiches if anyone is really hungry, otherwise crumpets, maybe scones and cake/gingerbread etc. with some fruit. Some board games, festive TV or a film in the evening. We all enjoy the day and look forward to it.
I hope you have a lovely day whatever you decide to do!

We're not religious in any way, so for us it's all about time off work, chilling with family... eating too much, drinking too much and embracing the festive spirit and all that goes with it! We have no family, so the 3 of us have a low key day and usually have a Chinese takeaway for dinner on xmas day! The pressure of cooking a fancy xmas dinner doesn't appeal! DH has his birthday on xmas eve so we go out for a festive lunch on xmas eve and have turkey etc, cooked and washed up by someone else and cheaper than xmas day dinner out somewhere. We like going away between xmas and new year, particularly to a cosy cottage with an open fire!

Have a look at Hygge principles... many of them sum up how I feel throughout December... the tree goes up 1st weekend in December and I love the cosy lights and candles

Don't feel you need to do everything, it's meant to be a joyful time not a stressful one.

We like Illuminated Christmas trails, Chester zoo, longleat, London zoo, Kew etc.

One thing I remember as a child, we did a big family Christmas of 10, and we each took it in turns to open a gift, which stopped it being a quick flurry and then sitting there.

If you buy any toys, don't forget to have batteries on hand, and relevant accessories. I vividly remember getting the sylvanian family tree house and my Mum remembered to bring some sylvanians with so I could play.

My partner and I grew up not really celebrating Christmas (different religion) but we have little traditions now that make it all special without too much effort
We do have a lunch with family on the day but we do other stuff ourselves.
We watch films, see the lights, bake, join in with all the Christmas stuff at school and with friends, do a few gifts in a stocking.
That’s about it for actual Christmas stuff but we have a lovely time just going for walks, playing board games, having an ice skating session, and just spending time together.
It makes the whole time around Christmas feel nice.

Tree up first weekend in December. Advent calendars for all of us. Lots of Christmas films and nice food throughout December. Portable north pole and a message from Santa was lovely when my kids were younger. Lovely nativity plays and Carol services at school, and a visit to see santa. We have been ice skating, seen santa on a steam train and at a tourism experience/museum. And kids writing their letters to santa. All wonderful happy memories for us now mine our older.
Have fun making your own traditions this Christmas

My parents weren't religious but I went to a Church of England school and grew up in a small village where church was a big part of community life so my family (including parents) would always go to the crib service on Christmas Eve and light a candle and sing carols - it was the most magical part of Christmas for me!
I do the same now with my kids, it's lovely seeing school friends etc on Christmas Eve when they are all so excited and for me it reminds me what Christmas is really about.

We put our decorations up mid December, we always do a 'Santa steam train' and a Christmas panto, panto usually on Christmas Eve or on Boxing Day.
On Christmas Eve during the day we always have a walk on the beach and then go into our small town and have lunch out somewhere nice.
Christmas Eve tea is always a buffet style party tea after church, Christmas PJ's on, a Christmas movie for the kids and then DH and I will do last minute wrapping listening to carols while they're in bed.
We always spend Christmas Day at home just us, no extended family until at least Boxing Day

Xmas is definalty what you put in. Doesn't have to mean tons of cash.

It's the atmosphere (stuff hanging from ceiling, home made snow flakes). Candles real or battery.

Smells... Pine or oranges.. Make orange pomanders(orange stuffed with clove).

Making ginger bread biscuits. Make Double and freeze 3/4 then each weekend make some.

Nativity. Go to tiny theatre show that won't be expensive eg 2 or 3 man band.. Small theatres or arts centers usually do this...

Read Xmas books the night before...

Have a few presents under tree week before but small... Maybe 2?

Then Xmas eve night being down at least 4 gifts... And fill stocking from fc. Leave his stocking on his bed....

We don't have large family buying us things. Other people who give our dc gifts give them directly and Thank them

On Xmas eve fc brings all gifts and there is a spread under the tree Xmas mornjng....

I've only heard about this fc only giving one gift on here....

In rl everyone I know from parents just give from fc!! It's such a teeny tiny window.... I want to go max.

Lots of different options.
We have stockings from Father Christmas and everything else from us.
No Elf on the Shelf, too much hassle and I feel a bit shaming.
We are church goers and before Christmas it is Advent not Christmas. So our main traditions apart from the Advent calendar are after Christmas. We have a live tree and decorate it on the first weekend after school ends. Definitely no earlier.
Nativity figures come out during Advent but the Christ child arrives on the 24th and the Wise Men on the 6th Jan.
We go to a Christingle service.
Other things we do are during the Christmas season i.e. 24 th Dec to 6 th Jan, e.g. go to a children's Christmas show, ice skating, beach all wrapped up.
And we always take the DCs swimmIng on Christmas Eve to tire them out!

Oh and we don't put out the presents till the 24th for practical reasons!

One absolute essential here, always has been, though I'm not religious, is Carols from King's on Christmas Eve. The first pure notes of the choirboy singing Once In Royal David's City are guaranteed to give me lovely Christmassy shivers.
Preferably enjoyed with mince pies and a glass or 2 of mulled wine.

The Snowman DVD is also a must now. And The Snowman and the Snowdog.

In my family stockings have always contained little things only, everything else is from family, who need to be thanked. There will always be a mince pie and a tot of whisky or brandy for Father Christmas - not a glass of cold milk FGS - the poor old thing needs something to warm him up a bit - and of course carrots for the reindeer.

Oh we also make a gingerbread house at some point, usually again after the 25 th.

I put Classic FM on during Christmas morning, in the kitchen - they don't have any adverts that day and it's all people choosing favourite carols and shout outs to various people, thanks to those working in hospitals or in the roads, etc. Perfect background to cooking.

My kids get excited as soon as the CBeebies panto comes out.

Get some easy Christmas craft in. Paper chains and snowflakes (loads of printable snowflakes online).

Go for a winter walk and get some greenery for the mantelpiece or bannister.

Make a chocolate log and put some holly on it.

Get a new board game or puzzle to do together or an old one.

I think a good thing to think about is what you enjoy in everyday life and get pleasure out of and then adapt that to Christmas. For example I like crafts so I love to make new decorations each year and go to craft fairs etc. I have realised how much I enjoy decorating the tree and putting up lights. It basically makes my living room cozy and pretty which makes it nice in the cold winter time. I have a sweet Playmobil nativity set I get out. I have some large xmas Lego sets coming this year so I am going to be building a xmas display. I also enjoy reading xmas themed Chick lit novels during November and December. However I have zero interest in the traditional xmas dinner so I leave that to my husband.
A lot of the xmas 'traditions' are things that have evolved over time, nicked from other festivals, regional things that have travelled with people or just made up by companies to make money. You do what you want to do. There are no rules.

Oh yes we got packets of paper chains from the local post office and they were really easy for the DCs to do.

After Halloween both The works and the pound shop will have cheap Christmas craft sets for little kids. (decorations or little toys to make). Pound shop have chocolate advent calendars you eat 1 per day.
If you live in a flat or do not have a chimney you will need to leave a magic key out for Santa (again pound shop or the works) Don't go mad if you can't afford it. Kids love wrapped gifts, pound shop will have colouring books, chalks and chalkboard. Small games, soft toys. Asda (if you have one) have very small selection packs for little kids for 89p and primark have lots of Christmas t shirts and pyjamas quite cheap. Kids tend to be thrilled with the boxes and can turn them into all sorts.
Whatever you choose have a lovely time and enjoy being together. I have always loved Christmas and I am so excited for you all to be having a proper one this year. Just realised this is really long. Sorry.

We buy a new bauble every year, it can be traditional or something random that I can put a loop on! D'S when small was obsessed with the police, so we have a Playmobil policewoman on tree tree rather

We're abroad so a lot of the traditional food we can't get here: pudding, cake, mince pies, small British-style sausages, cranberry sauce. So we don't have such a traditional lunch.

Our routine goes:
Christmas Eve take DS to the pool in the morning, (wears him out nicely!), light lunch, pick up some last minute bits. Then we/he makes the centrepiece for the Christmas lunch table. They have included loo roll FC, 3D reindeers, pompom snowmen. If they don't get broken then they come out every year and sit on a shelf on the bookcase or in DS ' room. We have quite a collection!
We have a caga tio (pooing log, Catalan tradition, Google is your friend) who gifts some chocolate, a Christmas film or book and something usually crafty. Then it's dinner and bed.

Christmas day: ds opens his stocking on our bed. Breakfast is gingerbread shaped pancakes (we have a special frying pan) and thick thick Spanish hot chocolate. Walk the dog. Come back and open tree gifts. Lunch is something light, homemade soup, lovely bread, ham and cheese. Walk the dog on the beach - last year ds and dh swam! Come home around 5 and start making Christmas dinner, we eat around 7 with all the lights twinkling. Watch a film, then bed.
Boxing day: go to a friend's house or they come to us.

In-laws we 'll see over the Christmas period, either 23rd or 27th. We don't have the greatest relationship with them and they have ruined two Christmas days, so no more. Two of DH's siblings are also married and live nearby and neither of them have invited the Fil etc for Christmas lunch, so I don't see why we should have to.

Christmas here lasts until 6th January and kids go back to school in the 8th, so the Christmas season here is long and we have lots of time to fit people in.

What we don't do, and what we don't miss, are: trip to see FC, pantomime, lots of baking, worrying about booking slots for food deliveries, FC steam train rides, Christmas markets. Our Christmas is both chilled and full of wonder.

Oh, we do have advent calendars, not getting away from that

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas :)

The brilliant thing about it is there are so many things to do and different ways to celebrate, as you can tell from all the wonderful suggestions and ideas.

I'm not sure if you have Pinterest but you can collect and save so many ideas on there for everything from recipes, decorations, gifts etc. There are even things like rough planning schedules and "xmas bucket lists" which are a great way to work out What would work for you and things to do. Even now I always find new things to try and do.

Try not to feel overwhelmed like you have to do loads of things, pick what would work for your family and have fun :)