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Original poster

Help, child just found out main present...

18 replies

teatimedreamer · 28/09/2019 20:35

Ds just saw a message flash up on my phone between family basically saying what we've got him for Xmas...he's devastated as the surprise is spoilt (he's autistic).

Shit.

We've tried to style it out by saying we haven't bought it yet so he still doesn't REALLY know if he's getting it.....but it sounds a bit lame and he's fretting over wanting it vs knowing and having no surprise.

We have bought it but not sure how to make Xmas day not a damp squib for him now. Anyone got any salvaging tricks???

OP posts:
legalseagull · 28/09/2019 20:36

Get him another present to be the surprise?

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 28/09/2019 20:36

Can you return it and get him something else? Or keep it for his next birthday?

Howmanysleepsnow · 28/09/2019 20:42

Do you put presents under the tree in advance? Can you wrap it to look like something else?

Original poster
teatimedreamer · 28/09/2019 20:42

It's a big present (electronic) and something he's been desperate for. There isn't really anything else he wants that would compare or I would definitely return it and pick something different.

OP posts:
milliefiori · 28/09/2019 20:45

Tell him you're sorry the surprise is spoiled but you will get him a small present too as surprise and that he can be happy that he is going to get someti=hing he really likes.

BikeRunSki · 28/09/2019 20:46

He’s sti had s surprise though, he’s just had it now.

Original poster
teatimedreamer · 28/09/2019 20:51

He's only 8 and autistic so it's hard to get the right message across to him. He'll stick on this feeling of ruined surprise for ages now and stress about ruined surprise and not wanting it vs not getting it when he really wants it.

Sigh.

OP posts:
littleorangecat22 · 28/09/2019 20:55

Tell him he'll have another surprise? He will probably have forgotten about it by Christmas and will be excited in the morning by other gifts he doesn't know about.

22Giraffes · 28/09/2019 23:17

I'm not sure if this would be something he would enjoy but could you set up a kind of treasure hunt for him to find the main present? Along the way the clues could lead to small surprises (little plush, choc coins, a book) until he reaches the main gift? That way there is still a bit of mystery and fun Smile

Deminism · 29/09/2019 01:23

Deny deny deny

Cherryrainbow · 29/09/2019 01:36

Is there a way to get other gifts to tie in with the main present that there would still be a surprise i.e. if it's a console, game related things such as figures, new games, clothing etc.?

VenusTiger · 29/09/2019 02:02

Give it to him now and tell him, he’s been doing so well at school/football/homework/whatever that you’d planned to get him it now all along.... get him something else for Xmas, there’s plenty of time for him to think of something else for then.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/09/2019 02:45

VenusTiger
That’s a good idea as long as op has the money to do that.

Lindy2 · 29/09/2019 03:38

My kids almost always know what their main present is because it will be something they've asked for. I don't think their main present has been a surprise since they were toddlers.
I'm sure if it's something he really wants he will be delighted to get it even if he already suspects that is what he is getting.

Barbarara · 29/09/2019 08:13

Huge sympathy OP. I understand what it’s like.

My suggestion is to make a countdown chart to Christmas to try and help focus him on a different aspect of the situation.

Use something like a spiral bound notebook where you can flip/tear off each day, and sprinkle it with questions like - how many hours until Christmas? Minutes/seconds? Facts about Christmas, December, celestial events etc.

Or alternatively, could you say that that surprise is ruined so it has to go back to the shop and everything will start again in December? And you’ll see them if he gets it or not so it will have to be a surprise again. Obviously you’ll just stash it in the attic in the meantime. I wouldn’t say any of this harshly or punitively. Just a light hearted “oh oh, you caught me. Let’s reset the game and begin again”. It very much depends on how his mind works, which is something you’ll know best.

Original poster
teatimedreamer · 29/09/2019 08:28

Well, we really pushed the notion that we hadn't bought it yet but that we were only thinking of it last night so he still doesn't know if he'll actually get it as we're not sure now.

He has seemed to forgotten about it this morning. 🤞🤞

Will continue to deny if he asks....

Thanks all.

OP posts:
qualityheat · 29/09/2019 08:36

Could you involve him in a big surprise gift for somebody else? My favourite Christmas and birthday memories are from when I had been part of a very special present for someone else; I remember those times much more vividly than the times I got a particularly good / surprise gift for myself.

Barbarara · 29/09/2019 08:43

That’s excellent. Fingers crossed here for you too.

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