The 4 gift challenge. Anyone else?

[NotQuiteUsual]

Money's tight and our parents are overly generous with our kids. So we're doing the 4 gift challenge this year. If you haven't heard if before it's four gifts(what a shock) that fit this criteria:

Something you want,
Something you need,
Something to wear,
Something to read.

We add a Santa gift that is to be shared between all the children as well as stockings.

If anyone else is doing the same I'd love to swap ideas!

I'm stuck on ideas for something they need. They're pretty set at the minute, do thinking nice wheelie cases for when we go away to stay with family? The shared gift is a struggle too since what can a 7 year old share with a 1 year old? Thinking twister for us all to play and DS game for th older two to share?

something to share maybe a fleecy blanket to cuddle up on the sofa together. or a film they could watch together?

If money is tight and they don't need anything then why not just give them three things or loose the sharing present and spend a little more on two things they actually want.

I knew this was a standard MN thing but I didn't realise it was a "challenge" 🤔

We don't go mad with gifts but I'd rather spend money/time on things they will appreciate and enjoy than something that fits within the confines of a rhyme...

We've always had new pjs on Christmas Eve so I guess that's something to wear, NEED is such a dull idea - I'd be miffed if someone bought me a new toothbrush or something they thought I needed for Christmas unless I asked for it, most of us have shelves fill of books already and we use our local library regularly so I don't buy books anymore unless requested. Don't stress yourself with unnecessary limitations - thoughtful gifts don't need to cost a lot :)

ha! I'd always assumed that little rhyme was the Base Minimum...

(However, that's from everyone. Not what parents have to do)

I'm not convinced a sharing present is a great idea with that gap. Oh, just re-read and there are two older ones. Still, you're right that the youngest won't get much out of it yet. Maybe just get something for the Whole Family - Twister does sound good.

Will you know in advance what their grandparents etc will get? (Perhaps you could ask them to get something for the Whole Family, especially if they'd otherwise only buy you something you don't really need.)

I'd be inclined to get one wrapped present each then go slightly mad with the stocking-fillers. [chocolates, sweets, pyjamas, bedding, character pants socks t-shirt, bubble bath, mug, stickers, lego figure (do they still do the little packets?), notebook, pens, book, CD, DVD... those last could be second-hand at this age. Get stuff they would probably get over the year anyway]

If you think one wrapped isn't enough you can always wrap a chocolate orange or a tub of sweets for the seven-year-old. Would the one-year-old appreciate the unwrapping enough to make it worth wrapping things like clothes or a character duvet set or something?

I'd heard it somewhere else before MN so didn't think it was a "MN thing".
I am going to try and do this within the family. The DCs don't really know what they "want" (or suggest real unicorns and the like) so we decide on a biggish toy or game for them.
I usually make them clothes (a nice shirt for DS and a dress for DD) that they can wear to Christmas events.
I'll probably get them both good copies of books to read aloud this year as they have both got more interested in chapter books to read to them etc. Unlike the PP I would never hold back on buying a book!

They usually are pleased with the "need" as it is something like a wheelie case, something for travel, or something for a hobby, DH got them some decent swimming towels with hoods that make into capes, with fun prints, last year, for example. When I was a child I got a new musical instrument one year (though my parents didn't specifically do this). That kind of thing.

I definetly think the 'need' item needs to be something fun, not like some school shoes, or a coat. I don't think the 7 year old would forgive me if I gave her some new school pinnies for one of her main gifts . But more like if they had a pair of nice trainers they had really wanted but I'd said no to for whatever reason. A nicer version of something they'd need.

The Grandparents always ask for lists from us and because of divorces and remarriages it means there's a fair few sets of grandparents who are fortunate enough to be able to spend quite a bit, so there will be plenty of the toys and stationary they're after. Although trying to minimize it all a little, focus on quality over quantity.

I think I'm going to hang fire a bit on the 'need' items for now. I'll get the DS game though and some party games for us all to enjoy together on the day for the shared gifts. Now there's 3 children with 6 and a half years between them, one shared gift might not be feasable.

Twister, Jenga and Boppit are all in my basket on Amazon!

@drspouse my kids aren't short of books, I need to "hold back" as I'm a book fiend so went mad buying for my eldest!

There's a 6 year gap so we have 2 tall book shelves full of books from young child right through to teen stuff then another for adult books plus my Kindle as well as the monthly trips to the library - we REALLY don't need to specifically buy more unless it's a new one requested by the DC :o

On the note of a sharing game, we got Wobbly Worm last year and it's great fun - it's basically mechanical hoopla and is height adjustable so you could make it easier for 1 year old with a bit of help... We play together with a 13 year old and a 6 year old then there's been many in between too. I think I enjoy it more than they do though :o

We do weed out the DCs' books e.g. we have got rid of most board books that aren't classics or true favourites, and anything twee usually doesn't last.
So we justify new ones on those grounds!

I say that about books as I watch a Roald Dahl box set on eBay which ends in a few hours... I'm trying to justify them by adding that they go along with the RD audio collection I've bought DD for Christmas - having the books is more educational as she can read along i'm hopeless

The books really do build up quick with children. We got some RD books last year, but the eldest still isn't interested, so they'll sit in the shelf for the next decade or so till baby outgrows them. Her favourite video game is bringing out a series of novels, so I'll get her the first of that and hope the novelty will get her attention. The 4 year old is getting a Blaze and the Monster Machines Phonics book set. He's been asking for reading books like his big sister and I should be able to get some sounds down before he starts school next year.

As for baby, she's getting Elmer. Somehow in the last 7 years we've never managed to pick that one up. Again they're all on my Amazon basket, just getting approval from DH and I'll buy the first batch of Christmas

Ours usually get something like fleecy PJs, a dressing gown (Harry potter robe ones last year, which they LOVED!) or funky slippers.

Ah that's the wear one isn't it? My apologies.

We tend to think of "need" as a toy or game that is fairly educational or good for them developmentally, or something like a globe, alarm clock, bedside lamp, wheat bag toy/hot water bottle equivalent.

We do this and the something they 'need' tends to be hobby related. This year it will be life jackets for kayaking/paddleboarding.

The wear can be anything from dressing up stuff for DD to a rugby shirt (for team he supports) for DS.

I usually add in a 5th category which is a board game as we play a lot of those.

We're aiming for this. The something to wear is a new onesie, maybe new pjs too.

Oldest has picked out books on his wish list. Youngest has so many books that we're going to for small games instead.

Something they want... maybe HP Lego for eldest and similar for youngest.

No clue what they need!

We also add something to watch - a favourite tv series or film for each.

And something to eat (selection box/chocolate coins etc)

We're also trying to stick to a £50 budget, so this might be tricky this year.

I think this want, need, wear, read thing fits nicely with the xmas eve boxes - things like pjs, a book, etc.

For a shared item how about making a small movie hamper? Last year I put in a few dvds in for the boys with some microwave popcorn, drinks and snacks. It was a big hit and we had a few movie night's out of it!

Or a shared experience? Maybe tickets to an event or a family day out? X

I do this but add a few silly stocking fillers as well.

• Want is something on DDs list.
• Need is something random. Last year it was a pritt stick as she had been complaining we didnt have any. Shes been moaning about our lack of blue tac recently so this year will be easy.
• Wear is always pyjamas in next size up so she can wear next year.
• And read is a book. Usually a christmas one.

I always add a matey bubble bath, pack of satsumas and some chocolate coins and maybe a dvd.

We sort of will be, by a bit by default as our boys want new bikes. We’ll buy them new helmets, which will largely fit the ‘need’ category, and they both need new dressing gowns, so they’ll get wrapped up to pad the pile out. I’ve already bought them books (one has a set of Roald Dahl books, and the other, an Usbourne ‘See inside’ book. As the bikes are costing a small fortune, that’s all we’ll do, apart from small stockings and a game each from Santa. My mum and in-laws both spend about £40 on each of them, which will cover any biggish requests, and they also get smaller presents from aunts, uncles and Godparents.

Other years, though, I wouldn’t stick to it rigidly, if they wanted smaller gifts etc. This is really brought about by the huge cost of the bikes.

Something to read can also be a magazine subscription.

A shared gift could be a family membership, we did MERLIN passes one year and definitely got our money worth.

I do have a bit of a problem with “need”. I see it as my job to buy everything DD needs so it feels a bit mean to include it as a present. In most cases DD also needs things outside Birthday/Christmas and it can’t wait.

The same goes with “wear”. I do give clothes as presents but mainly as a bit of a stocking filler like a Harry Potter T-Shirt one year.

I am. It saying it isn’t worth checking and having a good look what you buy and if it is really necessary to have the living room overflowing but I think starting to follow some restrictions is also a bit meh.

We are doing this for this year. I really want to re shift christmas away from endless crap!

I see the 'need' part as a nicer version of something, I've just picked up some Ted Baker socks in TK maxx for DH as his need present. Plus socks in a stocking seems fitting to me!

We are (unintentionally) doing this too.

Kids are 7, 5 and 2.

Our need thing is wheelie cabin suitcases, as they all fought over mine at the airport this summer, and their backpacks were a bit heavy when full. Got them in their favourite colours (avoided unicorns etc as more likely to go off them). Brandalley and TK Maxx have a good discounted selection.

They all get a new book. I have Alice in Wonderland for the 7 year old: Greek myths for young children for the 5 year old and Julia Donaldson paper dolls for the two year old (we have almost all other Julia Donaldson books).

Something to wear is always pyjamas on Christmas Eve.

Then we have a maximum budget of up to £50 for the want category. My five year old wants a Lego rollercoaster, which I have just snagged for £49 on Amazon.

The two year old will get a pink umbrella and a pink dress (not sure if fancy dress or normal dress yet) as those are her requests. So unlikely to spend more than £25 in total.

My 7 year old isn't sure what she wants yet so I'm holding off on her main present. She has form for finding stuff she wants in early December.

Then in their stocking they get an orange, craft bits, a new water bottle, socks, chocolate and a candy cane.

FWIW in our house Santa is basically the postman. Everyone pays Santa to make the gifts and he makes/buys and delivers them. So they know early on that there is a budget to stick to and why not everyone gets the same amount from Santa.

"Need" for me usually means a nicer version of something that she would be getting anyway. Last year when she was 3.5, it was a Frozen-themed electric toothbrush (which turned out to be one of the surprise hits of Christmas).

This year it is some bright fingerless gloves and a rainbow umbrella that operates on the press of a button, like the grown-ups'.

I am definitely cutting back this year. DD is 3 and she has so much stuff as well as family who buy her lots.

NotQuiteUsual the book people have a good Elmer set for a reasonable price. DD loves him but I hate the Elmer character.

We also have a baby who won’t need anything other than a new toothbrush. I’m wondering if I can get DD’s old toys out the loft and wrap them up. I have no idea what to suggest to family to get for the baby.