Bloody awful weekend with family

[singingismypassion]

Just back from a shit family Christmas weekend. Over competitive SIL and BIL insisted on shit loads of games, listening to their kids playing instruments so badly, their kids trophy's on dining table, outdoor chores, screamed at my kids for not helping (But not telling their own kids off) , crap unthoughtful gifts (most pre used despite having shit loads of money!). Im feeling so wound up I'm so angry and sad.....
Dreading next year already. And yes we have to go!

They "screamed" at your kids? Ok then...

They really screamed?

You don’t have to go.

Why do you have to go? No way! It sounds batshit to me!

You really don’t have to go. You’re an adult and can do as you please.
Your children will probably thank you for it too.

I've learnt to just not go. D&V bug a good excuse

Why are you accepting you and your children being treated this way? You sound completely passive in scenario. They screamed at your kids so I'm thinking 'and then'....what did you do?? No you don't have to go. You have a whole year to plan the Xmas that you want. Fake an illness, book a trip, visit different family but do something rather than simply accepting your fate.

You don’t “have to go”.

Why would you go again?

Don't be ridiculous. Of course you don't have to go.

You don’t have to anything.

Oh for goodness sake if someone actually screamed at your kids they're an abusive arsehole and of course you don't have to go.

No one has to go anywhere! If that's bloody miserable take the consequences of people asking about it instead and just don't go.

Honestly I bet it causes a lot less fuss than you think. And if they ask why explain it's because they SCREAMED at your children!

Outdoor chores?

You have to go to a place where your children are screamed at? Er no, you don’t.

Of course you don’t have to go.

Just say you’ve made other plans. It’s sounds horrendous.

I would refuse to do “outdoor chores” as a guest, and if my DC were asked to assist with “outdoor chores” would have a word with the host!

A family member of DH’s has form for doing exensive DIY - indoor and outdoor - when we visit and roping DH in, which would be fine if there weren’t 6DC to supervise. I rarely visit them now!

Plenty of time for you to make other plans for next year!

And you don’t „have to“ do anything, You just think you do.

Fuck no, no-one tells me what to do. If that makes me a stroppy teen so be it.

No you do not have to go. Put your children first. Show them that you are prepared to stand up for them.

I’m all for it takes a village to raise a child but if someone were to scream at my child, nope. Not happening, unless they were about to hurt themselves or someone else.

Don’t have to go. Bloody autocorrect and dodgy eyesight!

Thank you all for your messages. I 100% agree with you!!!! I am made to feel that there way is normal and mine is strange!! Now feeling empowered.

Happy Christmas x