Spending equally / unequally on children.

[totallycluelessoverhere]

If you have more than one child do you spend equal amounts on them at Christmas or do you just get what you think each would like / need regardless of whether each child’s is different cost wise?
Do you ensure all the children have the same number of presents to open?
What about if they are different ages?
My younger ones have more presents to open and the boxes are bigger too. The teenagers have smaller boxes and less presents. The cost of each child’s gift pile varies.
I always worry that this looks unequal but I can’t just buy tat to bulk a pile out when I know it will be wasted money.

Same number of gifts not necessarily same cost but it will balance out the years for example dd had a laptop last year (needed for school), there is no way we could afford 2 presents of that value in the same year but ds will probably get one the year he goes to secondary and dd will get something of less value.

We make sure they all have the same amount to open. We have children with asd, who have no concept of money, so this way seems fairest

It depends, roughly I like to equal them but on certain years one may have a single large ticket item they need (ish) so they are unequal, but the other will get that item another year eg phones and laptops. When younger they were equal. This year I'm not actually sure what I spent because very little is wrapped type things or they had things early they needed/are getting in new year once we get the full spec requirements. Older teens in my case and they are not short of material goods, I just don't buy a pile of "Christmas presents " for the sake of it, wasn't going to make her wait for running shoes she needed in October and will need more by April probably sooner (she runs 10 miles + a day)

I have spent the same on DD and DSS and they have roughly the same amount to open. DSS probably have 1 or 2 less as he's much older so presents are higher value. We've also tried to get DSS better gifts whilst sticking to the same limit by getting good deals and DH negotiating a free phone upgrade.

I buy according to their wants and needs. This year one son is having an iPad and the other wants two games for the Switch. No way equal in terms of money but they will both be happy. They have never compared cost.

I don't bulk out to equal numbers of presents either. It seems too wasteful.

We've spent £100 on Dd who's 4 and £50 on Ds who's 1, as there really isn't £100's worth of stuff we could think of for him. So we'll put £50 into his savings account to make them equal.

The teens get more money spent on them but less presents.

Ds2 is only 18 months and has a bigger pile but most of his were 3 for 2, and his come to less than half the amount cash wise.

That’s the situation here halfblood. Branded Sports clothing for teenagers is expensive but it looks so measly in the Xmas pile compared to the big boxes with toys for the little children. And also bought the toys in half price sales and 3 for 2

I'm 51 and my parents have never bothered to "even things out". I didn't even realise it was a thing before mumsnet!
It has been a total non issue for my brother and me.

I would expect to inherit 50/50 with my brother eventually but it wouldn't be a huge deal if not.

I think the same number or value of presents is quite unnecessary.

I always try and spend roughly the same amount on each of them.

I try and aim to have a roughly similar size 'stack' of presents, rather than an actual number of presents. Stacks can be carefully arranged to look a bit bigger or smaller as required.

Regarding amount of money spent, the way I see it, DC2 gets around the same amount spent on them as DC1 did at that age. So it will be equal overall, rather than on a year-by-year basis.

I think the same number or value of presents is quite unnecessary thanks snog. I was initially thinking this and always have but after reading mumsnet Christmas threads I suddenly had a panic about how unequal it looks.

pancake yes, you are spot on about it evening out over the years.
Even over one year it kind of evens out because the teenagers have phones and pocket money which costs on an ongoing basis whereas my little ones are getting a bigger pile of Xmas presents but will get phones etc when they are older.
And the teenagers are definitely going to cost me a lot more at our pre Christmas meal out and for cinema trips etc over the holidays.

I don't necessarily spend the same amount. We have 3 DC's who are 4, 8 and 11. But they do have the same amount of presents. Their one big present from us is roughly the same price but not exact.

I try and give them same amount of presents if the oldest one got a phone one year I would even it out by buying a decent size selection box, cushion for her room, toiletries set etc very cheap things but still things that would get used.

She still believes in Santa so I make the phone from us so she understands that there's a limit on how much we can spend and even though a phone is small it's very expensive.

The smaller presents are from santa and I've just explained that things little kids want tend to come in big boxes wheras the things she likes are generally a lot smaller she seems to get this. She knows she would prefer something small for her room over a massive box containing a peppa pig kitchen.

They all have the same budget I can spend up to but it's not a target if I manage to get the set amount of presents for £50 less for the younger child I don't buy more to spend the budget I just figure it will even itself out over the years

My DC are now both over 18 but still get a present pile and stockings, they will be roughly if equal value (if DH sorts out the final present today) and of equal number, but not if equal size. When I give gifts to my extended family again I spend roughly the same amount and try to ensur each child has the same number of parcels to open.

Always the same amount and try to get an equal number of presents too.

When they need "big ticket" items, they are usually old enough to know it's us who buys, so we agree they will get mostly cash (with a few cheap things thrown in to have something to open) and they can ask other family members for cash as well to contribute. And if they still need more, well 3 of them have birthdays within the next 3 weeks so they can have more cash then. Teaches them to budget, save and not expect everything to just to be handed to them on a golden platter

We havent spent the same amount on each this year, the 4 year old has had more spent on him than the 2 year old but i dont think the eldest would question if he had less gifts, i dont think he would notice!
Going forward we will try and spend the same on each child but not worried if the piles look different.

When they were young we spent very little on any of them.

Now they understand about £ we do speak roughly the same on them because some are far easier to buy for than others. I'm not sure it would even out over the years tbh and don't perceived favouritism happening.

So I think it's a balance and being fair isn't the same is treating them the same.

Our almost 5 year old is getting a lot more than the 1 year old. She wants and needs loads and he needs nothing. Plus I know the grandparents will splurge on him. It will probably be the last year we can do this though without them both noticing.

My DC are quite young and have no concept of what things cost. They do like counting presents though, so I make sure they get roughly an equal number of gifts. Ive spent more on the older one, because her lego cost more 3 times more than the game the younger one wanted. But neither of them will know that.

Luckily OP, your teenagers should understand the value of what you have bought them without needing to explain why their piles are smaller. I don’t think you need to worry.
I bought a few gifts in the sales for my two throughout the last few months and when I was wrapping them up realised that they had quite a lot of stuff - so ended up keeping some things back for future birthday presents. You could always do that if you think you are giving your younger ones too much.

For us it's getting trickier as son is 9 and there is less he wants whereas my daughter is 2 and wants everything she sees (not that she gets everything). However my son has asd and my daughters last birthday he got very jealous of all the attention she received. I guess it's trying to even it out without buying too much tatt.