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Original poster

Having someone over for Christmas dinner that you don’t like?

32 replies

FoxInABox · 21/12/2018 00:10

Just wondering how many of us have someone over for Christmas dinner that we don’t particularly like? Or does anyone refuse to have someone over despite the fact they will then be alone for most/all of the day?

OP posts:
Insomnibrat · 21/12/2018 00:24

We're all in this misery, aren't we?

Surely suffering through this charade with a cheery smile and uncontrollable eye twitch is what Christmas is all about.

NightOwlHoney · 21/12/2018 00:30

Me. Fucking MIL. I loathe her. I've told DH that this will be the last year though.

GreenDinosaur · 21/12/2018 00:33

I get a break Christmas Day, thank God but I've got a shit sandwich of MIL Christmas Eve AND Boxing Day!!
I'm furious, she's absolutely vile and her own son only tolerates her out of guilt and a sense of responsibility.
Xmas Angry

GreenDinosaur · 21/12/2018 00:35

@NightOwlHoney, Do you fancy a "Strangers on a train" type arrangement? Xmas Wink

NightOwlHoney · 21/12/2018 00:38
Grin
madcatladyforever · 21/12/2018 00:51

I have removed myself from xmas this year and am spending it alone. It;s going to be the best xmas of my life.
I'm too old to put up with this shit anymore.

Armchairanarchist · 21/12/2018 01:17

So glad I said no this year, first time I've had the nerve to do so.

MilkyCuppa · 21/12/2018 01:30

I hate MIL. I’m determined we’re going on holiday next Christmas! I deserve at least one year’s break from the old cow.

macmacaroon · 21/12/2018 01:44

Oh dear MILs are in for it. Stereotypically I do all I can to avoid mine too. definitely not having her Xmas day. I do feel a bit guilty as she does a lot for the kids but its no go area. The more I try with her the worse it gets. Acceptance is the key. !

Chottie · 21/12/2018 04:45

Yes, I've hosted my share of complaining elderly aunts and uncles over the years. My best tip is to have a houseful, then the person gets 'diluted' amongst the crowd. :)

snitzelvoncrumb · 21/12/2018 05:27

Isn't that what Christmas is all about?
I have my in-laws that refuse to have Christmas with my mum. My mum wont have Christmas with my dad because he has a girlfriend. I think it will get to the point where we don't spend Christmas with family anymore.

Original poster
FoxInABox · 21/12/2018 05:54

I’ve been quite lucky that I haven’t had to do this on the actual day itself yet (he has came over for an hour or so but not the actual meal). FIL is a controlling nightmare alcoholic- he has put DH through the most horrific things that to me would be the end of contact but he has always had a controlling hold over DH. He does not bother with us or our children socially the whole year- he doesn’t even send the children a card or call to say happy birthday on their birthdays. When he has a girlfriend he won’t contact DH at all, all contact is then initiated by DH. Christmas Day he goes to SIL (whose eldest DC he adores). He bothers with them throughout the year so it only seems fair that he goes there, and then we normally have him on New Year’s Day if he can be bothered to turn up. I grit my teeth through that but I would really hate to have our Christmas Day meal ruined- he is normally drunk, really loud and will start asking the kids to fetch things or show him things during the meal, whilst not eating a thing on his plate and feeding it to the dog at the table whilst encouraging the DC to do the same. It’s like a Christmas tradition though that every year FIL and SIL fall out days before Christmas and then I’m left worrying we will have to host him- feelings of guilt about him being alone battle with feelings of selfishness that we shouldn’t have our day spoilt. They always make up but it got me wondering how many people have to grit their teeth through Christmas, and is it really awful to leave someone alone (not fully alone- they still have other people where they live who do spend the day together that he could join in with, but without family)?

OP posts:
Original poster
FoxInABox · 21/12/2018 05:54

Liking the diluting tip!

OP posts:
WatchingTheWheels85 · 21/12/2018 06:07

In a twisted way (light hearted) it makes me glad we have no family or friends Grin

knittedjest · 21/12/2018 06:18

Sure, but I have so many people in over the weekend it doesn't matter. Do the usual pleasentries - Hi how are you?, x is lookjng foward to seeing you, help yourself to some food and drink and we will have to catch up later. Then never catch up. I find being civil and then distancing yourself works best for all involved.

Original poster
FoxInABox · 21/12/2018 06:31

Our problem is it is just us on Christmas Day- me, DH and the DC, so that extra person is stuck with us and us with them, in your average size 1930s semi- so nowhere to hide either without disappearing upstairs.

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 21/12/2018 06:33

Disappear out the door! Nice walk in the middle of the day or After lunch. If they don't fancy it, hand them the remote control.

alphaechokiwi · 21/12/2018 06:37

My MIL, and she stays for a week 😱

sophisticatedsarcasm · 21/12/2018 06:39

One of our neighbours always tries to score an invite, she always gets invited to several other places but always drops hints. I said to my mum no way, all she does is complain about everything and everyone, she has a hacking cough 90% of the time and she won’t stop smoking. And she has to take her bloody dog everywhere despite us having a dog that doesn’t like other dogs in the house. So when she does pop over we have to lock our dog somewhere else in house. I know people shouldn’t be alone on Christmas but I’d rather not have a Debbie downer making our day miserable

PizzaPlanet · 21/12/2018 07:41

Oh dear - now I’m worrying that I’m the disliked one when we go to my dh’s family!!

HRTpatch · 21/12/2018 07:44

I dusagree with the notion that no one should be alone at Xmas. If you are a cunt all year you deserve to be alone. And reflect on your behaviour.

GreenDinosaur · 21/12/2018 10:46

@alphaechokiwi ThanksCakeGinGinWineWine You poor thing, a whole week!!! 😵🔫

FireUnderpants · 21/12/2018 10:56

There's one particular person I'm not looking forward to seeing. If they don't come here they will be alone with their DS though.

Never offers to contribute to food or drink. One year I asked her to bring tin foil after realising last minute we had none. She pulled off a tiny square then hid the roll in her bag. Took home lots of leftovers which weren't even offered. Doesn't offer to help. Doesn't lift a finger each year. Last year her parting words were 'well it was alright......'

Wine will see me through.

AutoFilled · 21/12/2018 11:01

lol dont' we all. I'd rather not have my MIL, but we will be having her for xmas.

fromtheshires · 21/12/2018 11:10

All the hatred for the mother in laws! I was really lucky that the few years she was alive for were brilliant and i was just another one of her children as far as she was concerned. She was also a cook so her food was amazing...

There may be people that you don't really like popping over, however it's Christmas and I would rather have someone around that I didn't particularly like than to have them sitting at home on their own feeling miserable.

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