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Original poster

Tablet for 3 year old? Too young?

102 replies

totallycluelessoverhere · 17/12/2018 14:29

DH wants to buy our 3 year old a tablet for Christmas. Possibly the amazon kids one. Is this too young to have a tablet of his own?
And does anybody have any preference over which kids tablet is the best in the market. We won’t be spending more than £100 on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
totallycluelessoverhere · 18/12/2018 06:36

We have decided to get a kids specific tablet but restrict it for use only on our twice weekly long car journey and one other hour during the weekend.
I think it will help with the boredom and monotony of the long journeys. To answer the question about why don’t I just play games like I spy in the car, I am driving on my own with the children and I like to concentrate on my driving. It is usually in very busy traffic conditions and at this time of the year is dark and I don’t like to focus on anything except driving.
This isn’t instead of having more useful toys. We have so many toys which require creativity and thinking skills - Duplo, tegu, dressing up clothes, cars and all kinds of vehicles, wooden train, wooden kitchen, hundreds of books and matching type games, dolls, pram, stem toys, bikes, scooter, sand pit, musical instruments etc. He has a great imagination and I don’t want to squash that bit I think he will be okay if we restrict use of a tablet as described above.
I appreciate everyone’s comments and they gave me lots to think about.

OP posts:
MarilynSlumroe · 18/12/2018 06:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scoobyloobyloo · 18/12/2018 07:07

I work with kids aged 16-18.

What technology has done to them is fucking horrendous. Obsession, addiction, bullying, body shaming, self harming, planning serious harm to others - I've seen it all.

My 12 year old has a crap phone with no apps on it to stop her becoming a tech zombie, obsessed and addicted to likes on social media. ALL of her friends have this bullshit - enabled by their parents who want an easy life.

My advice - start young, limit screen time. don't make any device 'theirs' until they need a phone for safety. Even then make it a crap phone.

They won't be happy with this but I bet you they will in the long run.

Kids at the moment are guinea pigs for personal technology. Given what I see, that experiment is NOT going to end well...

Original poster
totallycluelessoverhere · 18/12/2018 07:28

Thank you for the link I have had a read marilyn . It pretty much says that it is excessive use that is the issue and that very limited use after the age of two can have a few benefits.

I think the main reason I am conflicted is because I have teenagers as well as little ones and one of my teenagers is very into technology - excessively so. He didn’t have access to touch screen technology at home until the age of 10 and didn’t get a phone until he went to senior school. He has one of the worst phones amongst his peers and his data is limited to 100 mb a month but he knows everywhere that he can hook up to WiFi - including by linking his phone to other devices in the house. He is always one step ahead of me.
He is on target to be a straight A student but I can definitely see how the www has hampered relationships amongst people of his age and I have definitely found that the more we have tried to restrict his tednology use the more it has caused problems between us. On the other hand my other teenager needs technology to communicate. He is non verbal and was constantly in meltdown status before iPads came about because he couldn’t communicate with us at all. All the traditional methods of non verbal communication had failed to work with him but he mastered iPad communication within a few weeks. Obviously we don’t restrict his iPad access because that would be akin to putting gaffer tape over a verbal child’s mouth.

I think not giving the three year old the tablet as ‘his own’ is a good idea ‘scooby’ and I might not wrap it up and instead just give him it to use when in the car and he one hour at the weekend because then he can’t ask for ‘his’ tablet Smile

OP posts:
IceRebel · 18/12/2018 07:41

It would be a no from me.

I find it so sad that the default for a long car journey is a tablet or screen. What happened to eye spy, puzzle books, colouring, or even just enjoying the view. At 3 children are so interested in the world around them they don't need to be stuck staring at a screen.

Also without meaning to be rude everyone I know who has said they will limit it, has found it creeping in more and more. An hour a week suddenly becomes 20 minutes a day then 30 and then an hour a day and so on. Once you have it you find more and more excuses to use it. The apps are educational, he only watches a few shows while I make dinner etc.

ritzbiscuits · 18/12/2018 07:42

My son has had a 'hand me down' Google tablet since about 3, which we put in a thick rubber case! It's been invaluable for long car/plane journeys and I restrict use to short periods on Friday/over the weekend.

I'm extremely careful about the apps he has, as a lot of them are junk, but I've found CBeebies, Toca and Lego ones have been great.

I think you've got to decide if you're a purist or whether you want to start to incorporate technology alongside traditional toys. I personally feel it's a lot healthier to give them some access now, it's just part of modern life today. DS is now 5 and school are asking us to do work with him on tablets, so you can't escape it for long!

strawberryalarmclock · 18/12/2018 07:53

I'm sorry but this is so depressing. I work in early years at a large primary school, have done for many years.
Each year we are shocked at how much children are changing. They talk so much about going 'on the ipad' and 'playing with mummy's phone'
Since when did a young child need a tablet for a short journey?! Take a book! Or like we did as children, look out the window, be bored for a while...
I have children in my class who's muscles are so poorly developed they can barely hold a pencil or scissors, yet when we occasionally use the school iPads, it is clear why, as they certainly have no problem using a single finger for endless swiping....
Undoubtedly they will spend the rest of their lives attached to some sort of device (we are all guilty of it!) why would you encourage it at such a young age? There are a million other ways of entertaining a 3 year old!

Amummyatlast · 18/12/2018 08:03

Why do the anti views have to make it sound like the child will do nothing but be on the iPad? OP has not said they will let them play on the iPad to the exclusion of all else. DD has had our old iPad since she was about three, with limited screen time (once or twice a week at most, for short periods), never outside of the home or in the car. She plays on the CBeebies app only and likes watching the cbeebies Christmas plays and proms.

She’s also ahead with her reading and writing, so I’ve not seen any negative outcome on her schooling.

TimeWoundsAllHeals · 18/12/2018 08:10

There are a million other ways of entertaining a 3 year old!

I’m serious though, what about when you need a break from that. My 2 year old is a whirlwind of destruction and I’m the first to admit I don’t have the mental energy to be on top of him every waking moment of his life. Screens are the only break I get.

I don’t like it but I need that break.

Original poster
totallycluelessoverhere · 18/12/2018 08:14

I think it’s the mumsnet way amummy but I did expect that when I posted and I’m okay with it and quite like a mixed balance of strong responses as it gives me more to think about.
There have been a few teachers saying they have seen it negatively affecting development and I think there may be some truth in that when touch screens are overused. But I think that teachers are seeing lots of things related to lazy parenting rhatbwe wouldn’t have seen in years gone by and I think a lot of it is just lazy parenting and not technology use because those parents would still be lazy without technology. Only last week ofsted was discussing the increase in typical children starting school in nappies and unable to feed themselves. I know a couple of ‘purists’ whose children have no access to technology and they didn’t start toilet training until after the age of 4 because they apparently wanted to wait ‘until the child was ready’ to make it easier and they didn’t want to pressure their children Hmm

OP posts:
MarilynSlumroe · 18/12/2018 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 18/12/2018 09:13

I'm massively anti tech for small children.
I have seen my sil with her kids who at crawling age were making their way to her bag to fish out her phone.
The five year old can barely engage and is a nightmare of you take his tablet from him.
That being said the OP sounds switched on and aware and I think she's taken objections pretty well and doesn't sound like she'll be daft with her use of it.

slappinthebass · 18/12/2018 09:37

There is actually studies that suggest that educational apps and games are as beneficial as reading. Definitely closer to reading than watching TV at least. Most kids apps are educational. If the child is going 5 hours in car journeys a week I think it would be really beneficial for your situation, much better to be on a tablet than looking out the window or watching DVD's.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 18/12/2018 09:46

Yes, God forbid they should look out of the window and spot something that might inspire conversation Confused

MarilynSlumroe · 18/12/2018 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crimsonlake · 18/12/2018 09:51

Yes, far too young. What did we do on long car journeys etc before the invention of ipads? We used to entertain our own children. In the car I had 2 under 2 and I used to play games such as 'spot the yellow / red car, count how many blue cars, spot the sheep, cow, put a story tape on , sing songs etc. All this helps children, use their imagination, be creative etc, boredom is good for children, why do they have to be constantly entertained by something?

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 18/12/2018 09:53

I'm sure I read that parents working in Silicon Valley were some of the biggest supporters of banning tech devices for children?

IceRebel · 18/12/2018 09:54

There is actually studies that suggest that educational apps and games are as beneficial as reading.

I honestly can't believe this, happy to be proven wrong with sources but it doesn't make sense to me. Apps are passive, a child may take in information but that information is in isolation. If you're reading with a child it's an active process. They can ask questions, provoke discussions, you can provide additional information / explanations on top of what they are reading. Confused

everythingisginandroses · 18/12/2018 10:01

It sounds like you have decided to get one. I think 3 is too young. Children don't need to be stimulated and entertained constantly, there needs to be a balance and they will have a lot of compulsory screen time (not much) later in life.

Flamingosnbears · 18/12/2018 11:45

It's about striking the right balance, there's no problem in moderation besides once he's in school he'll have lessons based on one, mine does he's four they use Ipads in class.

Tipsylizard · 18/12/2018 12:02

We have kindle fires for my toddlers but are only used for long flights (which we do about 3 times a year) We decided that ICT is their reality and so they should have moderate access to it. They dont have direct access to them at home.

Kikidelivers · 18/12/2018 12:14

Audio cds for the car journeys!!!

Can’t recommend them more highly.

It’s a lovely relaxing way to spend long journeys. Mine actually look forward to long journeys and I love the peace!

Fatasfook · 18/12/2018 12:49

Don’t do it. They create all sorts of behavioural problems and sleep issues

FestiveNut · 18/12/2018 13:29

I can see the appeal. Really, I can. But they do need to learn to be bored, to amuse themselves when there is nothing to do. It's a life skill that's really hard to pick up later on and is needed for adulthood. Staff meetings, work in general, there are a lot of boring things that need to be done as an adult and as a child. It's hard to get kids in school to write for a sustained period of time or concentrate on a task for longer than ten minutes because it's just not as interesting as a game. They're used to instant feedback from their gameplay and struggle to be patient. Being bored is important. Keeping kids occupied every second on a car journey is easier with technology but shortens their concentration span imo.

newdocket · 18/12/2018 13:36

I would not buy a tablet for a 3 year old. That's not because everything kids do on a tablet is going to damage them irrevocably and there aren't some good apps/games but because on balance, the evidence is that they do much more harm than good to the developing brain.