Help!!

[oooSleepingBeautyooo]

Don't know what to do, have a two year old boy ( 3 in feb) and 1 year old girl. My son is so so excited for xmas and loves santa. But we are struggling, so so much. My partner has a maxed £200 credit card (I was always so adamant we would never have anything like that, let's take a minute to laugh about that) We have £39 to our name and will get about another £140 before xmas comes. I don't know what to do regarding food, presents and general living for the rest of the month ect still have to send a parcel of presents down to my dads for him, his partner and my siblings and can't afford it or anything to put in and then there's the other family up here, 4 neices!! I really want my kids to have a magical xmas. I keep everything to craft with and we've been making gifts for the adult so we're not short on decorations I just feel so guilty and I don't work I stay at home with my babies & I don't want to whine to my OH as he works so hard (currently at work now at 1am) any advice or help would be grateful. Rant over - I think. If you've made it this far- thank you xx

Could really cry right now, totally at my wits end. All these adverts on here for toys ect, "only £50" "only £30" that's a weeks food shopping to us 😩

They are so young that you can get away with buying them a few things from Poundland they won’t know any different. As for adults well just say you can’t this year they will understand. Nieces I would do £1 selection boxes

Don’t get sucked in by the adverts - it’s not real.

Tell your family you can’t afford preSents. But kids a selection box or colouring book or magazine.

For your own kids they’re so young it doesn’t matter - a box of balloons, a couple of cheap stocking fillers and frame ordinary things as special Christmas things eg special Xmas bath where you use bubbles to look like Santa and take photos, make salt dough decorations etc etc etc.

Go to Poundland and spend £10-20 on your children, tell family you can't afford to buy them gifts

Step away from the marketing- are they loved, safe and warm with full tummies? That’s what’s important- we all get sucked into wanting material things but ultimately we don’t need them, it’s frustrating not to have everything material but by Boxing Day it’s all over. Enjoy not being nagged while they are so young

Facebook selling sites have loads of great kids' toys at a fraction of the full price, and your children won't care they aren't new. Can you bake for family? Nice biscuits, decorate with their names?

Thankyou for all the great idea ladies we like to try make stuff from nothing so we've done biscuits and santa bubble beards ect lol we did that this evening but ended up with mouths full of bubbles, they are indeed extremely loved (although annoying lol) and full and warm, I just feel like I'm failing as a mum because I want them to have the best of everything they deserve it for putting up with me Poor little sods 😂 My youngest doesn't understand but my eldest does he's so excited I said santa is only bringing one present as it's his most expensive and it's already wrapped I couldn't bear it if he didn't have it he's been asking since August so I got it as soon as I possibly could, so deep down I know he will be happy. I just wish I didn't feel so guilty. Xx

There you go don’t worry anymore and enjoy xmas . Your son has the one thing he really wants he will be happy .

Bless you, I know it is the worst time of year to be worrying about money when everyone and everything is saying that what you spend equals how much you love and Mum guilt is a b----ger but you are doing a wonderful job in difficult circumstances. Agree with all other posters (Poundland had some lovely bits in on Monday) but will add see what charity shops have in. I know this may be a step too far but in our town a local church group are putting on a full Christmas meal with games etc on the actual day free of charge so you could enquire around.

Thankyou all for being so kind and wonderful I will be able to manage it and work it all out I'm sure it's just the thought of doing it and on a budget me and my partner won't get anything but that doesn't really matter, even though my other half deserves the world 😔 Wish I could do more for my babies. We're normally such a Ott family at xmas beacusse previously we've had nothing like now, so it's just a bit of a shock and depressing to be back here but with two little ones, will definitely look at the pound shop ect! I cannot thank you all enough it's remarkable what a bit of mum support can do x

Just remember that your kids won’t know your ususally an OTT family your eldest will be too young to remember previous years so they won’t know any different.

I feel you. Poverty is shit.

Do you have a Tesco or nectar card you have points on to get food. Or a boots card with points for a present?

Have you looked at charity shops. You can get children's books etc for 50p.

You could try a freecycle check, to see if there is anything helpful for put a wanted post up. Lots of people are looking to clear out outgrown toys before Xmas.

Tell your family you can't afford presents this year. Spending money you need for food, your children's presents etc on things for your dad, siblings etc who are adults presumably is daft. Ideally you would have had this conversation a few weeks back though. Your kids are little and won't care how much you spend so Poundland is ok.

I know their are plenty of people in your circumstances this Christmas. All you see is adverts for expensive toy's with the perfect families but in reality Christmas can be hard for people due to any number of reasons.
At the moment you have 2 small children and one income so you have not got a lot of spare cash. Your kids are small so they don't need a lot of expensive presents. I would look in pound land, Primark and tk Max. I have bought toy's, books and cuddly toys from charity shops. I find charity shops in the nicer parts of town or near expensive house can often have more good quality items in them.
In the new year you should go to citizens information and bring your husband wage details/tax information with you. Let someone their check he is on the correct tax rate and get them to check out if your entitled to claim any extra benefits, pay less council tax ect.
I would also look at the bills you pay ie gas, electricity, phone ect and see could you get a lower price by changing supplier's. Have a look at Martyn Lewis website. He is the money expert you see on TV. He offers a lot of good advice about saving money, getting lower bills ect.
Also do you know if their is a credit union in your local area? A credit union is run for it members. If you can save a small amount regularly for a period of time you can then borrow from them and they generally don't charge a high interest rate on loans. As a rule you might have to pay say £10 a week on a loan but they ask you to pay £15 so also you building up more savings when paying your loan down. You can also pay a loan off early. In time if you have savings and a good history of paying off loans you may be able to get a larger loan.
Also you and your husband should start to make plans for you to go back to work once your children are older. See if you can avail of any free training, internet course ect to help you get employment.
I hope you and your family have a nice Christmas.

OK, don't send a huge parcel or lots of things to your dad, a board game for the family is perfect and second hand doesn't matter. If you buy from Amazon or ebay you can have it sent to them.

How old are the nieces? I once gave a 12 year old a make over from the body shop, all it cost was my time to book it.

One of the best idea suggestions I have heard for a toddler is to get a box and a bag of balloons. Blow up the balloons and put them in the box, it's really exciting for a toddler to get a box of balloons.

Try charity shops for toys and ask around, lots of people will be happy to help, you need to put your pride in your pocket and ask. You may not want to ask individuals but organisations such as the rotary club, Salvation Army etc often distribute toys to families in need.

Do you have a toy library near by? If your son can understand the concept of borrow then a few toys for over Xmas is a treat.

Food, you are probably thinking, 'how on earth can I afford a turkey and all the trimmings?' Well you can't, but you don't have to. Your children are young enough to be excited by an 'indoor picnic' of sandwiches and cake. Maybe some hot chocolate and a bowl of sweets all on a sheet on the floor.

Lots of animal charities have people fostering animals, depending on your circumstances could you foster a dog or cat? I used to doster for Cats' Protection and I did it all year, but some people just foster for a few weeks a year, often in the summer holidays. Sometimes it was a short foster as the regular oster was on holiday for a week. You would be helping a charity and your children get to have an animal in the house for a week or two. The charity will provide everything for the animal, you just feed and care for it.

If you do want to do a roast and fancy Xmas food go buy it on boxing day and have your meal on the 27th, the children will just be excited to have another special day.

are they loved, safe and warm with full tummies?

^ this ^

I agree with looking for lower bills for utilities, and also are you aware of the 'warm homes discount' - different power companies have different policies, some catagories of people are automatically selected, others the utility company chose the category. It is £140 credited to your electricity account, if you are on a pre pay meter it is credited to your meter.

www.gov.uk/the-warm-home-discount-scheme

Tell your dad and other family members you just can't afford to buy Christmas presents for anyone other than your children. Concentrate on your 3 year old -
the 1 year old won't know and will be happy with balloons! Your 3 year old will be delighted that he's getting the thing he asked for anyway. Priorotise food and other necessities. Look in your local community Facebook pages,we have given to a few appeals for toys and food on ours. Then there's the usual places, Salvation Army, St Vincent de Paul and other churches. Try Freecycle.

Relax, you're doing fine.

Hello everyone

We've had a number of reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine and frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask everyone to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you get it all sorted soon.

Hang in there Mrs!

Christmas isn't about buying stuff, my memories of Christmas time from when I was a kid are about snuggling up to watch films, chocolate for breakfast, playing games and frosty walks, can barely remember a present I was bought. My two year old has somesecond gifts bought from charity shops, nct sales and Facebook selling groups. As long as he has a couple of things to open he isn't at all fussed if they are new or not.
I would be really honest with family and say you don't have the money this year, they will probably be relieved not to have to buy for you all.
Food at Christmas doesn't have to cost lots, a £3 chicken will go far! Big hugs, your situation isn't forever and you sound like you are doing a brilliant job