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Christmas

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Original poster

Am I mean?

14 replies

drumandthebass · 12/12/2018 14:44

Am I being mean to not buy the present that my DS(12) wants? He wants a TV for his bedroom and I don't want him to have one.

We already have 3 TVs in the house, one being in the playroom (which is mainly used by my other DS, another in my bedroom which he could use whenever he wants and one in the lounge.

Am I being mean by not getting him what he wants all because I think 3 TVs is enough and don't want him being shut away in his bedroom?

OP posts:

californiascreaming · 12/12/2018 14:47

Gut feel - yes. Its not that you object to tv's - there are 3 in the house so why does he have to traipse around when what he would like is the comfort of having one in his room.

Vicious2018 · 12/12/2018 14:55

No. We have only one telly in living room and that's plenty, because nowadays you can watch catch-ups etc. Also ds has a routine of reading books, magazines etc for an hour before he falls asleep. I rather have him doing that than watching telly.

sheepsheep · 12/12/2018 15:06

another in my bedroom which he could use whenever he wants

So what is the difference to you if he is shut in your room or shut in his own....there is none really is there?

Yet there is a difference to him for him to be able to watch TV in his own room versus sitting in yours or somewhere else in the house.

I don't think it is "mean" but it seems to be a bit of a pointless standpoint and if that is what he wants, you have the means to get him it, and you aren't opposed to TV's I don't see what the problem is.

Klobuchar · 12/12/2018 15:10

‘Mean’ is maybe not the right word but you have three televisions already, so what if he has one in his bedroom? What’s the difference between one in the playroom and one there?

SixToEightInchesOfSnow · 12/12/2018 18:22

Yes I tho k so tbh given that his brother has control over the one on the play room therefore he’s stuck with whichever one isn’t being used by anyone else.

Justmuddlingalong · 12/12/2018 18:27

I think he should have one. His brother and you have ones for personal use. It seems a bit unfair, not mean.

cushioncuddle · 12/12/2018 18:36

It's not ' do as I say not as I do '!
You have a TV in your bedroom , that means you don't have a problem with them in bedrooms.

Your sons bedroom is his sanctuary.

Let him have it. You have already set the bar. Nothing wrong with that.

What's the difference where you watch it ?

TeaAddict235 · 12/12/2018 18:42

I don't think that you are being mean. There are enough TVs in the house. It sounds like he is being ungrateful. Are there any other principals behind no TVs in his room? I sense that there are, and rightly so. Later if he decides to watch an adult film after hours or while you are out, you will feel guilty. He is 12! Not 21. You are doing active parenting and monitoring his viewing by making him come into communal spaces. Yes you have a tv in your room, you are an adult; if there is a horror film on, you know to turn over and not scare yourself, if there are operation programs about surgeries, you will turn over if it is too gory for you, if there is a rape scene in a program you know how to discern the scene, a 12 year old (boy!) shalln't.

Stand your ground OP.

caringcarer · 12/12/2018 18:44

I would let him have it if his brother controls the one in the playroom. He won't believe in 🎅 else.

TeenTimesTwo · 12/12/2018 18:52

I think you are being sensible not mean.

A TV in his bedroom means you have no visibility over how late he is watching TV at night, and what he is viewing.
Screens out of bedrooms until after GCSEs is my opinion.

SubtitlesOn · 12/12/2018 20:23

I agree with you do not let him have TV in his bedroom

Let him have more control over the TV. in the playroom

Why does his brother have control of that more than he does?

Namelesswonder · 12/12/2018 20:34

Not mean, no. I don’t think children should have tv’s in bedrooms and refuse to allow DDs to have them.

ja9r · 12/12/2018 20:46

If my ds had a tv in his bedroom he might never come out! So imo, you not getting him one is not mean.

akmum18 · 12/12/2018 21:04

I can understand you not wanting more tvs in the house but at 12 it’s a big thing to get your own tv I remember being overjoyed when I got my little one back in the 90s. Could you compromise and give him the spare tv for his bedroom rather than leave it in the other room then buy him something to go with it like a blue ray player and some DVD’s? Or start off with a portable DVD player and if he takes care of it and uses it then consider a tv next Christmas.

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