Recent Widower Gift Ideas

[festivetootsie]

This is a bit sad I am sorry - My mum died of a sudden and large brain aneurism a few weeks ago, she was is her late 50's, we are all incredibly sad and shocked. We have a coroner's inquest hanging over us. My poor dad is suffering terribly, but, we are lucky that the three children/siblings and families are close both geographically and emotionally to support him and each other. We will be spending Christmas altogether at my parents house.

Where I am struggling is any kind of gift for my dad for Christmas. Normally I would buy my parents hard to get tickets for shows or concerts. I feel like if I do this this year it would upset my dad at the past memories and if I attend in my mums stead it would only be more painful. So far I am giving him a calendar of photos of dad and mum with all pertinent family dates marked, he is very keen not to miss any anniversaries etc and a new dressing gown as I know mum would think he needed a new one please help me think of something to help ease his pain.

sorry meant to add that I have name changed for this only because I feel ashamed that I can't think what would be a nice present for my treasured dad.

I am so sorry to hear about your mum. The presents you gave thought of so far sound perfect. What about a lovely photo frame with his favourite picture of them together in it.

Or a rose bush/other plant for him to plant in the garden in your Mum's memory. Maybe beside where he sits out (if he does that) so he can sit with her?

A bird bath/feeding table to give him something to watch if he is feeling down ?

Tickets for a completely different 'experience' that he hasn't done with your mum? Perhaps with grandchildren? To try and start building new memories.
Whatever you give him, I am sure it will be appreciated. Take care.

I'm so sorry for your loss @festivetootsie.

I think @jocktamsonsbairn suggestion of a rose bush or similar is lovely or birdbath if he likes the garden.

What are some of your dads interests?

Don't feel ashamed your asking for suggestions as you obviously care deeply and want to get it right 💕

Don't feel ashamed OP, you obviously care about your lovely dad a good deal and understandably don't want to inadvertantly upset him

Just an idea where you said about the dressing gown... Does he need a new pair of slippers?
I lost my dad this year, and I was always buying him slippers for Xmas etc as he got though them something awful!

Thank you both, my dad and mum are/were very keen gardeners/landscapers and this was their shared passion dad has a small house but large garden that gives him peace. He buys any plants that he/mum wants. In the past we have brought them very nice sculptures for the garden but I can't find anything that seems right this time - he is/they were very fussy in this regard. I was going to buy my mum a very nice bird table for Christmas and before mum passed I checked this with dad and he was a bit anti.... so I am not sure that this would go down well.

Sorry for your loss Festive Im in exactly the same situation as my DM died a week ago.. I'm sure , that like me that you can hardly even think about Christmas..

My DF and DB are now coming here but Boxing day as transport means that they cannot get her Christmas day , we are just going to settle for a nice meal / time together/ toast to Mum. and a v low key day .. I dont think we are even going to do presents..

Maybe get some deli foodie things he likes but may not think to get himself? if we do presents I think that's what I will get them .

I cant even think about Christmas for myself .. look after yourself ,

It's just a thought but are there any plants or a variety of plant out there with the same name as your mum that you could buy for him?

www.countrygardenroses.co.uk/shop/view/1028-Soul-Mate-Floribunda-Rose

I really want this (my husband died almost a year ago). I think I would get him some remembrance type things but equally some things that he would normally like. Some nice biscuits/chocolate if he likes that maybe some fancy cafetière coffee.

also, perhaps (as if like my DF) things will change in the house after all is sorted (like mine will be redecorating bedroom , getting a new bed and buying a new lounge suite ( as old one all v old and with too many memories) , maybe a JL voucher along with a promise of a trip to choose new bedding etc and lunch out?. My DF really doesn't want or need stuff, right now just time and a listening ear.. ( which q honestly is a bit hard in itself ,as I also feel in need of that , so I do understand how you may be feeling.. Sadly we cannot fix it for them , only be with them ).

I always make my Dad a rich fruit cake, my Mum was a fantastic cook and he misses homemade things like that. 14 years since I lost my Mum.

For my dad's birthday after my mum died I bought him 2 azaleas that had their names as part of the plant name. My mum loved her garden very much. If there is nothing with your mum's name could you get something that would resonate?

I am so so sorry for your loss Laska...It is difficult to navigate day to day but we have to forge ahead for our children sake. If it wasn't for them I think we would just all hibernate this year.

Thank you all so much for your advice... I am going to hunt for any plants with my mums name. Just wish there was a magic wand I could use for turning back time/helping my family to heal.

Festive .. Do make sure to take care of yourself also .I am navigating each day as it comes .. lots of good wishes to you in your loss x

Michelle's idea of fruit cake is a good idea. I had already made a Christnas cake to give to DM and DF -as I have done every year as DM had stopped cooking mostly in the last few years (she was in her 90's) . I will be giving it to DF anyway as I know that he will like it...

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. You sound like a lovely person. Perhaps way too soon (and not at all suitable for your dad) but I immediately thought of a gourmet cookery course. A mature relative of mine went on one recently (won it through work), it ran over some weeks and this person enjoyed it immensly. They were a decent cook before, but it was a social thing as well.

Thank you all again I did consider a cookery course but felt that might be pushing him into a single life a bit too hard. We decided on 4 tickets to see an old school band he loves next June, something to look forward to he can take friends on his three children.

I'm so sorry about your Mum.

I think things like cookery courses, new bed linen, new experiences etc might be a bit too soon. The band tickets sound great.

How about a little hamper of things he likes - e.g. Biscuits, cakes, cured meats, cheese, port/sherry, chocolates... Depending on his taste? If he is struggling it might be nice to have things to graze on.

You can get some lovely glass garden ornaments - birds, flowers and that kind of thing, maybe he`d like one of those?

A series of vouchers for coffee shops so he can use one whenever he needs to get out of the house? A throw to brighten up the lounge? Some art work? Book vouchers/books ?