When MIL is more flush than Santa...

[GreyCloudsToday]

Last year MIL bought over 10 gifts just for one DC. This year (after stern words) it's a more manageable 5. However these are much bigger and flashier than Santa's. (In our house Santa has a chronic illness and has been unable to work, and Mrs Claus has been on mat leave ).

Last year our DC was too small to be clued in, but this year it'll be a lot more obvious. Does it matter? Or is there anything we can do about it?

We do stocking from Santa and under the tree gifts from whoever bought them. Is your DC her only grandchild ? Is yr MIL perhaps trying to be kind thinking that as you are on Maternity Leave you will have reduced pay?

My DS is only grandchild on both sides- both GP's are comfortably off but have different approaches and both are always with us for Christmas - my MIL if she gets round to it puts £20 in card, my DF asks me to buy my son something he would really love and then gîves me the cash - usually. £50-£100 - my DS never questions it - he just accepts it and thanks them only my DF gets more thanks because my son is thrilled with the toy or whatever that came from him and. Whilst he thanks MIL for the cash it's to him not as exciting as opening a gift.

We are a stocking from Santa and gifts from others in our house, really easy to sort.

I'm guessing your kids are both really small, they are hardly likely to notice or care who gave what.

Don't be scared to give grannie some practical ideas too, shoes, jackets, next voucher.

In our Santa brings the stocking and 1 present (not always the biggest/most expensive). Mummy and Daddy buy the rest - it makes sense for us as our DD is with us when we buy each others gift/ family gifts and understands that adults don't get presents from Santa. We also said that because there are so many children in the world - Santa only has time to make 1 gift per child.

Santa also doesn't leave presents at other peoples house - the presents at Nanas house are from Nana etc.

I think that its nice of her to be that way,id just say thank u and let your children enjoy the gifts,they are only little once.x

'Santa has to give children all over the world presents so he can't give too much ....but grandma only has you to give so she gets to spoil you as much as she likes.'

Santa only brings small gifts in our house. This helps when DC ask why some people don’t get as much for Christmas, they know it’s not cos Santa was being tight, but that they don’t have much money or as many people to buy for them.

We’ve asked grandparents that if they must spend more than one gift worth, that it be on an outing/ experience. This seemed to help stem the tide of plastic.

When Santa was still visiting this house dd knew that while Santa made and brought the gifts he wasn't made of money!

So parents get the bill in January!

I'm fully expecting to get flamed for that but I had good reasons.

I was very hard up myself at the time and didn't feel it was fair for dd to have expectations of eg a games console or something equally expensive that I had no chance of managing to get her.

But equally she was at school and friends with children who were from families worse off than us who would be lucky to get a few pound shop toys and some chocolate in a stocking and maybe one £5/10 larger gift.

I didn't want her thinking the children that were better off had been "more good" and the less well off ones "not very good" which was something I noticed creep in when she started school (no thanks to certain well off parents ) so I brought it back to Santa loves all children equally but he doesn't give the parents a bigger bill than they can afford and that's why different children get different amount of presents from him.

My parents are OK but not rich and so were able to get slightly more expensive gifts. Ex in laws would discuss with me what to get and I'd get it and they'd transfer me the costs. They were roughly same standing as my parents budget wise. Now she's older they just transfer the money straight to dd.

That's what worked for us and when they found out a fair few parents we knew adopted the same stance! It relieved the pressure and stopped the requests from children for impossibly expensive gifts and then parents trying desperately to organise so as to keep Santa right.

All presents from Santa here. They know parents give Santa the money though so won’t expect too much expense wise

All presents from Santa here bar any from grandparents, aunties etc...

I have never really bought into the taking the credit for presents it just seems a bit uncouth and completely takes the magic out of it IMO

*little Barbara opens up a doll that she really wanted while her parents look on smug waiting for a gushy declaration of undying gratitude

No thanks, I’d rather my girls got the benefit of childhood innocence and imaged Santa hauling a big old worn sack of the back of his sleigh full to the brim of presents...

Couldn’t agree more with twitch

Does it really matter who gives the gifts ?? If so then why does it matter?

Santa only brings gifts that fit into stockings in our house. Other children get bigger gifts because their parents can’t afford to buy them and Santa brings something extra for them for that reason. But he can’t do that for everyone so our family gets only little gifts because he still wants our children to know that he is thinking of them and wants them to know they have been good but his elves can’t make big gifts for everyone and he knows our children don’t need them. Maybe Santa could bring yours only small gifts because he knows that grandma will buy big ones?

I would suggest separating the timing.
The main part if the Santa presents is coming down the stairs, checking had he been, were you good etc.
If you allow the morning for Santa gifts and schedule MIL later to give her gifts it will be easier. We always went to ILs on Christmas evening or Stephens Day and did the family gifts then. Kids got loads between IL and Auntie and Uncles and it never overdone Santa.