Christmas Day plans for blended family! Stuck!!

[KTMP16]

Two parts to this....

My partner and I both have children from previous relationships - my son is at his dads in the morning (& his daughter is at her mums)

1. We are so skint we cant really get each other much but still want to make the morning special and also not be 2 miserable about being away from our kiddos. Anyone any ideas??

We get both the kiddos around lunchtime and then we have question 2. The problem of what to do in the afternoon!!

We have been invited to his parents and also to mine and this has already caused hot debate :-s

This is our 3rd xmas together....the first one the kids were away in the morning and we had a lovely morning just the two of us and then went our separate ways in the afternoon. (was only afew months into the relationship and i was suprised and happy he chose 2 spend the morning with me) Last xmas we had both the kids in the morning (hed moved in by then) then after dropping the kids off at the other parents we went upto his mums for the rest of the day/evening
(Im close 2 my mum, i know she was so so miffed but we did see them Xmas Eve & Boxing day)
This year my other half seems to think hes going straight to his mums after getting his daughter & its really wound me up tbh cos im trying to find a compromise that pleases everyone

Seems like he thinks we should just each go to our parents. But seeing as we live together as a family unit i dont want it to be me & my son doing something different to him & his daughter!!! IYSWIM

Can't you stay at home in the afternoon and invite the parents round to you?

1. Nice luxury breakfast for the two of you.

1. Impossible to please everyone. Personally I would focus on what my child would enjoy most and not stress beyond that.

Im a rubbish cook lol theres no way i could do a meal for everyone...we both wanna go have our mums cooking haha

Im feeling really miffed that OH is just thinkin of himself and his daughter and im trying to find a plan for the four of us!!
My parents have said they are willing to travel and will fit in with whatever plans we have so they can see their grandchild. OH parents wont travel and clearly just expect all 4 of us to go there for the day

I think I would go to the grandparents on each said in pairs to be honest. Then, if kiddies are older could you reconvene at say 7pmish for board games, Christmas film, treats as a family unit?

I would spend the morning together for couple's time, then go your separate ways in the afternoon.
My OH and I each went to our own parents for the first 6 years of our relationship, until we got married. Didn't hurt.

Wow worried....would you really? :0 i just really feel like we should all be together! The kids are 5 & 8

TBH im not even sure what the plans are for the rest of the Christmas period...Or New Years Eve for that matter!

Iv got little un majority of the time n im gonna hafta talk it thru as his dad has no set contact! (its ridiculous, drives me mad!)

The other half has every other weekend so technically shud be 21st-23rd then xmas day 2 boxing day.....but then itd be Jan the 4th so im sure we will have her for extra days inbetween!
Gets so flippin complicated doesnt it!

I'd go my seperate way too. Its no big deal if you are meeting again in the evening.

WeeBeastie..was there kiddos involved?
I had an ex I was with for 5yrs and we never spent aChristmas together because we were both such homebodies.
Last Christmas was the first time id ever spent it without my mum n dad!! My fella shud be honoured!

Think its cos we each have a kid that it feels the wrong thing to do...
Last year we could have gone our separate ways at lunchtime after we dropped the kids off but my decision was to spend it with him and his family!

It's fine to spend the afternoon separately with your kids - your mum isn't his DD's nan after all, it's nice for her to see her own nan. Your mistake was going to his mum's last year!
You can make some 'your family' Christmas traditions that don't involve the politics of actual Christmas Day and when you can all be together. Maybe a Boxing Day treat?

Yeah i get what you mean - his daughters only with us every other weekend tho...so she will be going back home on Boxing Day!
(i dont know what other days shes with us...im presuming we will get some extra days over xmas hols)
Im trying so hard to include her in everything we do...im hoping her mum will let her come for a meal with us on Xmas eve as thats a tradition iv done with family for years

My parents still saw us last year they came over in the morning, its his parents missed out on seeing their granddaughter cos they wouldnt travel 2 us!!!

I really cant be arsed with this situation year after year...im gonna hafta learn to cook and tell em all 2 do 1!!! :D