Do you buy your adult nieces and nephews presents?

[sweetkitty]

Just asking as we have two adult nieces, one is 27 has her own home and a 3yo DD. The other one is 24 still lives at home doesn’t work for half the year, is bankrolled by my SIL in that SIL pays her phonebill, hair extensions, clothes, make up and plastic surgery ops.

Anyway SIL asked what my DC want for Xmas (we have 4 and she is v generous with them we only ask for £20-25 grift max) she kind of harrasses is until we give her a wish list.

We usually spend £30-40 on both nieces and great-niece. My friends think we shouldn’t be buying for adults. Having 4 DC money is tight but feel obliged to buy for them as SIL buys for our DC. She sent us a text saying DN1 would like a clothes voucher and DN2 a MAC voucher!

So would you buy for 20 year olds?

The last couple of years I’ve just given them £80 (for Christmas and birthdays close together) giving money seems a bit weird TBH. I’d still like to get them something to
open a small token present, by the time I buy SIL, DNs and the 3yo it all adds up. This is the total sum of family on DHs side.

I think I’m just feeling a bit down and resentful about it all as it feels like we always make an effort and no one else does.

I give £15 to each of my DN's (ages 17-24) for birthday & Christmas. DH's Aunt still buys for DH, me & our DC (we're in our 40's) & I keep telling her every year to stop buying for us & just to get something small (if anything) for the DC, but it falls on deaf ears. So we obv have to buy gifts in return, which I don't begrudge but probably spend more than I'd like cos they buy for all of us

Most of my aunts and uncles stopped gifting to me once I was either 18 or 21. The one who carried in, cut it down to a token gift (£10-15ish), and once I had children, she stopped that, but started buying for my children.

I will always continue to gift for DNieces and DNephews. And their children and partners respectively.

People who don't - are you not close with your siblings and their children? My children are close to their cousins too so it would be very odd to stop giving presents to people you love.

Doesn't bother me if they give me a gift, I'm older and have more money so I like to treat people.

PS I still get presents (and so do my children) from my aunties and uncles and I'm headed for 50!

No. Once they're no longer children they just get a card.

Do you actually see them on/around Christmas? One of my aunts buys for me (27) but I usually spend Christmas Day with them. Typically it is something like a £10 coffee voucher. They are always thanked in person and if I’m not seeing them I will call and thank them.

My other aunts and uncles live waaaay down south so I never see them over Christmas so they don’t buy for me and haven’t since I was about 21. We do exchange Christmas cards though.

TBH in my family extravagant gifts aren’t really a thing. I reckon my parents spend about £100 on each of their adult children and £30 on their own siblings. My limit is about £15 per person and sometimes I join forces with a sibling to get something bigger like whisky for my dad.

YANBU to be fed up of buying them expensive gifts and never getting a proper thank you. If you don’t see them scale it back to a boots gift set or something. If you do I still wouldn’t be spending more than £20 each.

@MergeDragons - not sure which nieces and nephews will be around for xmas yet. If they won't be ill post their present or give it to mine or DH sibling to give to them.

I have a 21 year-old nephew, I bung him about £50 for his birthday and again for Christmas. He's a student so I have no doubt it gets spent on beer.

He's doing an internship next year so I'll probably carry on until he's earning a decent amount of money and then he can buy me presents instead!