The Christmas Commandments

[MagicKeysToAsda]

I've been thinking about the Only Way To Do Christmas and how it's completely different in every family Add to that the warring tribes of "loads of presents please" and "no presents unless ethically vetted" and there is just so much material for a thread! Join me, I'll start:

1. Thou shalt only open thy stocking before breakfast. All other gifts thou shalt forsake untilst thou hast bucks fizz drunk and marmite on toasted bread consumed with a chocolate tree decoration chaser

1. Thou shalt only send noisy battery-operated toys to the children of households who live far enough away that thou canst not hear them thyself, verily.

1. Every person, whatsoever their faith, age or infirmity, shallst eat at least one brussel sprout.

Bump?

Definitely agree with 2. I add extra batteries too!

Every person will don a cracker paper crown, if only for a second

On Christmas Eve as soon as the last errands have been done and everyone who is going to be there has arrived you must have a baileys. Even if it’s 10am!! This heralds the fact that Christmas can officially begin.

In our house, Christmas wrapping is done at midnight on Christmas Eve with a great bottle of cava and the prerecorded Nine Carols from Kings on the telly . None of this being wrapped by 1st November rubbish.

And verily the contentment was great throughout the land obviously.

1. Thou shalt not enter the living room until all family members are together.

1. Only gifts from Parents/Santa may be opened in the morning. None of these will be placed under the tree - they will all appear overnight alongside stockings.

1. Thou shalt not expect anyone to eat a proper breakfast - chocolate orange/selection box is a perfectly acceptable Christmas morning breakfast.

1. Every person must consume at least 2 Brussel Sprouts. No other item in the Christmas meal is obligatory.

1. There shalt be no expectation that dessert will be eaten after Christmas dinner - everyone is too full to consider it and no-one should pass up on Christmas dinner to keep room for dessert. Dessert is a perfectly acceptable evening meal on Christmas Day.

1. No gifts under the tree (from wider family and friends) may be opened until after the Queen has spoken.

1. There must be silence while the Queen speaks - if you cannot be quiet you can leave the room.

1. It is entirely acceptable to stay in pyjamas all day on Boxing Day.

1. If the pistachio bowl is empty - re-fill it. If the discarded shells bowl is full - empty it.

10. Individually wrapped chocolates can be eaten at any time.

Liking the Baileys Christmas Eve rule. And the one about Christmas Day supper being reserved for pudding.