Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Present ideas for terminally ill Grandad

27 replies

mildshock · 22/11/2018 14:55

Sorry, this is really really long for a present thread Blush but I think it's relevant.

DGF has had a difficult 6 months. He's currently recovering from a gastrectomy due to stomach cancer and is now pretty much bound to the bed/sofa.

Prior to his recent poor health, he was very into walking (12+ miles regularly), fitness, gardening, travelling etc, but he's had to give up all of these hobbies.

I'm struggling to find him a thoughtful gift that he'd enjoy. Presents he's had previously included walking gear, gym classes, food gifts, gardening tools/ornaments.

DGF never learned to read, so I can't buy him anything personalised, books, or basically anything with words on.

He was an alcoholic (gave up drinking completely before surgery) so we never buy him alcohol.

Please help, we're all at a loss!

OP posts:
MrsMattWillis · 22/11/2018 15:00

Maybe a dvd / Netflix subscription and snacks he can easily eat whilst watching ? An electric blanket ? Comfortable pillows ? Pyjamas ?
How old is he ?

smurfy2015 · 22/11/2018 15:28

@mildshock just to say I am putting together a reply to you on a word doc cos that's easier for me for a longer reply and then will cut and paste across to here with links where possible

reluctantbrit · 22/11/2018 15:37

Can he listen to audiobooks? Travel stories from countries he liked?

A photo blanket with pictures of his family or (depending how he feels about it) pictures from his walks? He may feel too depressed about reminders though,

Photo book?

AuraBora · 22/11/2018 15:39

What about audio books, an Audible subscription for example? Could be fiction or non-fiction...

Nifflerbowtruckle · 22/11/2018 15:50

When my husband was diagnosed as terminal we got him a bags of love photo blanket. We gave him it as an early Christmas present. It was practical (warm) but also something nice to look at.

mildshock · 22/11/2018 15:59

Thanks everyone! These are great ideas! I never even considered audio books Blush

Unfortunately food presents are no good due to the gastrectomy.

He's 82, but was incredibly fit and active before the cancer. Up until 6 months ago he was walking 12 miles a day, 4 times a week. The lifestyle change has been quite shocking for him.

He will probably like some nice new pyjamas. He's very proud of his great grandkids, so maybe something made from them!

OP posts:
Pollaidh · 22/11/2018 16:19

A photobook with lots of pictures of you and the grandchildren, then he can pick that up and look at it, also nice for when he has visitors but doesn't feel up to talking much, as they can flick through with him.

If he used to like walking, and it wouldn't make him feel too sad, Colin Prior is a great mountain photographer, and you could get one of his picture books.

Not sure if Wainwright's walks are available on audio book, or Joe Simpson's Touching the Void (exciting stuff, the latter).

ajandjjmum · 22/11/2018 16:22

My Dad died a few days after his birthday. I bought him a lovely, soft shirt in a towelling type material, which he wore in bed, and some nice room fragrance sticks.

I love the idea of the Audible subscription for him though.

imsorryiasked · 22/11/2018 16:23

How about a photo blanket?

mummyhaschangedhername · 22/11/2018 16:24

Photo book? I did one last year for my grandparents and they loved it.

TheFaerieQueene · 22/11/2018 16:24

Your time is what he would want the most, if you can give it. Something you have made, be it a cake or a photo album of family is also fabulous. Stuff probably doesn’t have much meaning now.

SillyPsychicAcid · 22/11/2018 16:26

We’re ina similar position this year with DFIL sadly.

He’s feeling the cold a lot, so we’ve gone for some pairs of cashmere socks, nice thermal underwear, plus some DVDS and books.

BiddyPop · 22/11/2018 16:38

A couple of years before they died, I made my DGPs a pair of similar but not matching lap blankets for over their knees and not dragging on. The ground.

They used them on their last holiday to sit lutside in summer, and both used them both, as needed, when in hospital a few times after that over the hospital blanket. Meant 1 for wear, 1 for wash - as it worked out they were never in hospital at the same time. So both got quite a bit of use before they both died.

Audio books?

And your time, as much as you can give it, to chat and listen to their stories, and just be comfortable together. And for DGGC to visit with him too for short periods, but not overture him.

HotInWinter · 22/11/2018 16:41

Would he like a bottle garden, or some other form of indoor plants? Or is that just reminding him of what he used to have?

Lovemusic33 · 22/11/2018 17:43

My grandad was ill last Christmas with stomach cancer (since passed away), I bought him a lovely warm blanket as he found the cold.

ILiveForNachos · 22/11/2018 17:48

I don’t know how possible it is but my dad absolutely loved reflexology in his final days. It wasn’t something he’d ever have considered but it was offered at the respite centre he went to. Might be a nice treat. Blanket is another good idea as dad was permanently cold towards the end too. Sending hugs to you at this difficult time.

smurfy2015 · 22/11/2018 18:28

Only a couple of ideas i can come up with at the moment

Sorry to hear he is so unwell. I'm assuming these things are not for posting thru mail. Some ideas putting into interests and sections with links where possible

WALKING -

Dvd - www.walksaroundbritain.co.uk/dvd - There are 2 DVDs and between them, there are 20 walks with different places featured. That might give him places to enjoy the scenery even he can't walk them himself, it also wouldn't include any reading bar the cover which someone could help with.

May also need a DVD player if he hasn't already got one that will open up lots of other options such as comedies, old TV programmes (look up GOLD as a channel and you might see something)

I'm guessing due to past walking interests and fitness he has good muscle power in his legs which won't be affected directly by recent op, he will also be frustrated by being sofa/bed bound, I'm going to guess he is on a feeding system so is confined to one place due to that as well as the need to rest.

What about one ofwww.completecareshop.co.uk/therapeutic-aids/pedal-exercisers/pedal-exerciser-with-digital-display - can be used on the ground to pedal to maintain his leg muscles or on a flat surface so he can use it with his arms, it would help to stop muscles from atrophying and also keep his previous interest in fitness alive, This one has an inbuilt computer so with someone keeping on eye on the readings it could be competitive for him to beat previous days score by telling him, was 50 yesterday what can you do today?

GARDENING - in some cases I would suggest a terrarium or indoor garden, but as a family to club together, this is making an assumption again that he is at home in own surroundings and not a nursing home, a wheelie trolley with www.completecareshop.co.uk/kitchen-aids/kitchen-trolleys/kitchen-trolley with a couple of containers, compost (there may be small bags in the pound shop as a large one isn’t needed), seeds for flowers and small watering can. This can be wheeled to near the window once he has planted to get the light and can be a source of joy to watch as nature happens. Can also with Xmas morning be changed for a tray of holly, ivy, other Christmas flowers and then switched back to normal afterwards.

On the same vein if had the outside space how about a raised flowerbed if he was able to access the garden with the help of a wheelchair or with practical help. Flowerbed can be raised up using pallets or other options as described here. www.goodhousekeeping.com/home/gardening/g20706096/how-to-build-a-simple-raised-bed/

How about someone coming to the house to do a treatment/ therapy for him? Ear candling can be relaxing, reflexology can be therapeutic and comforting, Back massage might help work out knots where he hasn't been able to keep up his previous level of fitness.

Making a DIY coupon/voucher book as corny as it sounds. Offering to do x or y, could range from cleaning his house, taking him out for a drive in the car, watching something of interest to him even if you have no interest. This could be drawn instead of words by way of cartoons.

As he sounds like he was fit and spritely 6 months ago as walking 12+ miles regularly, he may be very frustrated at being confined and bed / sofa-bound.

Does he have a group of friends who he might like to organise a "party" with, you could host a group of his friends all in one go as he will probably get tired easily and enjoy all the chit-chat, although he can't drink or possibly eat, it would be social and all organised and cleared up someone else. It might also be a time to hear a lot of stories about his past when he is with you as its better to spend time with people while they are here and as he is terminal than meet them after he has passed. Time to make memories and have fun, far better while he can take part.

Like PP fancy pyjamas or maybe track suit or whatever he would have worn to the fitness classes of old, he is at home and they are comfortable and acceptable to wear in house and also in bed if wanted, slippers or slip on trainers as a substitute for his walking boots.

Just a few ideas at random

PodgeBod · 22/11/2018 23:04

We were in this position last year, I'm sorry you are going through this. Best present was one my brother got for his Dad, it was a folding photo frame that could easily be transported from home to hospital. It meant he could look at the photos even if he couldn't manage to handle a photo book or album. A speaker is also a nice idea to listen to music.

Vintagebeads · 23/11/2018 20:38

If he is an avid gardener there is a box set called the Victorian Garden that is excellent.
My dad watched on loop when he was bed bound with chemo also an avid gardener.

Fueledwithfairydustandgin · 23/11/2018 22:11

What about some games that people could play with him

akmum18 · 23/11/2018 23:34

Would he be up to a family photo shoot? Some lovely photos for him to look at and for you to keep. I like the idea of subscription and audiobooks too, and personalised items may be a nice keepsake rather than buying ‘stuff’ eg photo collage on a blanket/cushion. Sorry he is unwell I hope you have a great Christmas with him.

Bangwhistlepop2 · 24/11/2018 04:36

Audiobooks he can listen to or a google home mini which he can use to hear music, weather,news, sports, books & random stuff. I bought one for £30 from ao.com & it's up there in my house for the novelty factor.

Callmecordelia · 24/11/2018 05:00

It's a few years ago now, but when my Grandad was dying I bought him an historical photo book of where he grew up. He loved looking at the pictures - he didn't want to see Birmingham as it is now, he wanted to remember things and tell me stories about then. There was very little text.

Whattodowithaminute · 24/11/2018 07:58

Could you buy some private Physiotherapy sessions? He should be able to get some improved mobility compared to what he has now.

Kirdypurdy14 · 24/11/2018 08:10

My grandad is also terminally ill he was alway so active and loves weird things last year my mum had a star named after him and he was amazed so this year I wanted to get him something strange but special so I bought him 1 acre of land on the moon Smile when he does pass away he can hand it down to his grandchildren as he will own that acre of moon forever it comes with moon deed proof ownership etc.. can't wait to see him open it xx

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.