Where is your ponce/Bisto middle ground?

[Acunningruse]

We are hosting Christmas lunch for the first time this year. My mum has always previously hosted and done a lovely, traditional lunch using increasingly ready made things, understandably, as she's got older and had health issues.

My grandparents will also be joining us and owing to not having a full set of teeth between them definitely favour 'well cooked' veg and bisto gravy.

My brother and SIL will also be joining us. They are a young couple who enjoy dining out in nice restaurants and following food trends.

DH and I fall somewherein the middle! We enjoy hosting and would want to push the boat out for Christmas but not at the expense of older relatives not enjoying the meal.

Any tips on how to please everyone?!

Can you pre-cook some veg and then add it to the uncooked veg to be cooked again when you prep everyone else's veg? That way the oldies get mushy carrots and sprouts but everyone else gets ones with texture.
Same with bisto. It takes a minute to make in advance, then you can just heat it in the microwave for the old folk while making proper gravy for the rest.

If you have that many people, I'd maybe buy ready wrapped pigs in blankets, ready made cranberry and bread sauces etc.

I love making my own stuffing, Christmas pudding, Christmas cake and trifle so get a bit if DH buys pre-made to 'help' but over the years, for everything else, I've learned to be glad if someone brings a ready made version.

For the veggies Jamie Olivers Veg Megamix that goes down well with all generations. Have ready made red cabbage and two versions of sprouts: sautéed and boiled to infinity. I think all the best bits are the veg really!

Could you afford/have the room to cook a smaller turkey, and a more trendy alternative such as goose? Or a three/five bird roast.

Op, think you are lovely to consider others like this

This is going to sound horrible but as a bit of a food obsessive (and dh even worse) and living in a food-obsessed country, and having perfected our version of Christmas lunch over the years, dh and I would find it hard to compromise now I think. I'd cook it exactly as you would normally do so yourself but maybe provide something like mashed potatoes and celeriac on the side for those who genuinely find it harder to chew (or maybe soup starter?). I think it would be a bit odd to start using Bisto if you never have ever before! You are the host and doing all the hard work (and going to the expense of feeding everyone which isn't cheap nowadays) so you are entitled to do it in your own tradition I think!

Looking at all these replies I think I am a being a bit mean now!

Tbh though, isn't cooking a good Christmas lunch for a crowd demanding enough without having to do separate dishes for different people? And surely it's more of an "everyone share" occasion isn't it?

Surely no one prefers bisto to actual gravy..? I'd definitely make your own, although you could always have bisto on hand just in case. Roasted carrots and parsnips are pretty soft, and you could do potato/sweet potato mash as well. I wouldn't complicate things by trying to cook things to varying degrees of softness, just try and ensure there are a couple of options that would suit everyone?

Or just book it as you'd like and fuck everyone else (this is what I'd do 😂).

Over the years I’ve got a good sense on which parts of Christmas really matter to people and I plan my Christmas meal around that. Mostly it doesn’t actually mean extra work.
For one person Christmas is pretty much summed up in a big 1970s trifle. Personally I’d like to update it and do something a bit more stylish but it means a lot to him to get it. For another person it’s the type of stuffing, but they don’t particularly mind which dessert I serve so trifle is fine. And the trifle person is happy with any kind of stuffing. But serving those two things makes them both feel properly christmassed
I figure that cooking the dinner is a lot of effort and I’d rather people enjoy it, than put in all that work to get it half right.
I channel my ponceyness into the table setting, the decor and the gift wrap.