Please will someone critique my lists for ds (11) and ds (9). I don't think they're fair but not sure how to balance it?

[theduchessstill]

Ds1 is so hard to buy for and has asked for a flag (he collects them), Fifa 19 and a dvd. That's all.

So far I have:

Ds1:
Flag
Fifa 19
DVD (Andrew Marr history of the World)
European history for Dummies
Jigsaw of world map
Magnetic hanging globe
Wooden model kit of houses of parliament
Giant cricket sticker for his wall
Poster of Kings and Queens and another of all the USA presidents
New headphones for the Xbox
Small drone with camera
A desk and chair for his old room - they recently decided they wanted to share, so his old room has become a sort of study
A few other books
Echo dot
Chromebook - shared with ds2

Stocking will have:
magnetic puzzle
the usual toiletries, stationery and sweets

Ds2:
Bluetooth projector (what he asked for)
Big Lego Friends set
Stop animation set
Gravity marble run
CD
Maybe some MLP figures, but the ones he wants are £75, so that's a no.
A couple of art sets
An echo dot
Some books
Chromebook - shared with ds1

Stocking - v. similar to ds1

I'm not sure that they're balanced. Ds1 has a birthday in March, so some could be kept back if his is too much, but the problem is I know ds2 will use the Chromebook loads more than ds1 because ds1 has his phone and uses it for pretty much everything. He'll use the chromebook to type up some homework, but that's it. However, I want it to be shared to avoid arguments and because ds2 will get a phone in the next couple of years so I want to keep it fair. Similarly, ds2 will probably get more out of the dot as he absolutely loves music, but while they're cheap I thought I may as well get two. It'll just be a novelty for ds1 though, while I do think ds2 will use his loads.

Oh, I don't know. This is pretty much all they'll get btw as my family give me money to buy stuff, so that is included here, and ex and his family don't spend a lot.

Does it look fair?

To me (and please bear in mind I've never met you or your family so may be way off) it looks too much and a bit too worthy/educational/technological. And I'm the most middle class primary teacher I know.

Lots of stuff there. Andrew Marr was great for when dd2 was doing GCSEs but a bit full on for Christmas?? Obviously I don't know your ds; he may love it.

Looks like lots more for ds1 from the list, but to be fair there are initials in there that mean nothing to me!

Yes fairly fair looking at the items, although DS1 has more items DS2 may have higher value items? however I would say the desk and chair is for a study they will both use, how about either taking that out the equation or give to both of them as well as the chromebook? All 3 items sort of fit the study theme as a shared gift?

I tend to go by making the value spent equal on mine, I try and make the quantity similar but they are old enough to realise the value of some presents.

I think it is irrelevant for PP to make judgements on whether the gifts are suitable, I think the OP knows what her DS would like!

OP i have always done my 4 on monetary value..not how many items because my 16 year old will want more expensive items than say my 12 year old..so hers will look more but i have spent the same. And they do get it! I set a reasonable limit that we can afford. They normally ask for one or 2 things. Then we get some surprize stocking filler gifts.
Always very grateful for what they get. I dont think children will count how many presents they have.

I think it does look unbalanced, in your older DS's favour.
I would probably not give the furniture as a gift, as it sounds like it was needed and would have been bought regardless of Christmas, so is a bit of a surplus present.
I'm not sure posters are presents either? It looks like your bulking out your 11yr olds presents unnecessarily?
Could you move the extra books and the wall sticker to his birthday, or add some books to 9yr olds pile?
Is there anything on the younger boys pile that you could swap out for the poniest he telly wants?

Desk and table.
Not a present
Its going in the 'spare room'

Add some more books and a couple more dvds to younger sons pile and your just about done i think

Yep I’d gift the desk and chair before Xmas to do up the study and then buy an extra dvd or game for ds 2 and that would be fine. Maybe the world map thing or globe could even be given early to go in the joint study.

It's fun to give things like desks and posters as presents. They are more exciting that way. My daughter's favourite ever present was a vintage desk with lots of little cubbyholes and drawers (£25 at a car boot sale) which I had stocked with stationery, pens, and other school supplies.

It is a huge and generous pile for your older son, so I would add a few small items to your younger son's pile. How about things like slippers, a mug, a poster, something to eat or cook with, a nice pillow, a deck of cards, a plant.

Take the Chromebook and desk out of the lists. They are joint presents.
They seem to have 4/5 big ticket items each, but DS1 seems to have lots of other bits, and DS2 hasnt.
So, either take out some of the wall decorations, posters and history stuff and save for the upcoming birthday, or add some room decoration stuff for DS2.

What magnetic puzzles are they getting? Sounds like the sort of stuff I need!

Does DS1 actually want educational stuff for Christmas?

We only get our kids one present each plus stocking stuff.

Actually sorry, I take that back - comes across a bit holier than thou! Just because we only buy one present each doesn't mean you should Also some of your list we would use as stocking stuff, posters etc

I actually think it's unbalanced in DS2's favour! When you list them like that then yes, DS1 list is longer but looking at the content DS2 has more substantial items.

I'm sure you've bought DS1 gifts you know he'll like but things to hang on your wall/ceiling don't really have the same "wow" factor as DS2's selection. Once they're hung on that's pretty much it while DS2 has lots to actually use/play with.

Way too much on both lists IMO, total cost must be £1000+

Thanks everyone. Ds1 will love the stuff I've got him - his interests are politics, history, flags , with a bit of football, fortnite and cricket thrown in, but I can see it looks worthy to an outsider!

I may well keep the desk stuff back for his birthday - though it's not needed as such as we have a kitchen table for homework etc and it's just recently he's taken to sitting in what used to be his bedroom plotting world domination so would like a desk to do it in style .

And no way has it all cost £1000 +. I've done my research and bought pretty inexpensive versions of the techy stuff, all with good reviews. However, the list is from me, my parents and an aunt and represents pretty much everything the dc will get.