When and how to stop nieces/ nephews presents

[sjaba]

Hi, I have four nieces and nephews (same family) aged 24, 21, 18 and 16. Every year I enjoy buying them birthday and Christmas presents. Now the 24 and 21yos are working I thought I would just send a card for their birthdays , but at Christmas, do I just buy for the 16 & 18yo? Seems a bit weird to only give gifts for 2 of them when all 4 will be there ... but I don't want to stop for all of them because I feel the 16 and 18yo will have missed out on a few years worth of presents.
I usually spend #20 each and usually buy vouchers.
Any advice?

Thanks

Make 21st their last present. When they have DC buy them something token or a small gift. Don't get back on the Ferris wheel.

The only aunt and uncle who gave to me had a blanket ‘stop at 21’ policy. Since then, they have given me a box of cheap chocolates or basic tin of biscuits, but they do now give to my children.

I buy my 40 year old nephew presents, but he has always bought them for me too. I buy for my aunties and they buy for me. Not enormous presents, but it's a lovely chance to show the affection that I feel for them. Do your nephews and nieces not buy for you?

Now reading your update, that's really crap that they don't reciprocate. My nephew is a bit rubbish at thanking me sometimes, but he gets me amazing presents, so I can't really complain.

@Doasyouwouldbemumby no they don't reciprocate but then I don't need anything and am happy with that.
It would be just nice to have a thank you (even by text) ....

18 or 21, that’s when my gifts dried up so I’ve done the same with nieces

A thank you isn't much to ask. You can't go on indefinitely. Good luck!

Given that they don’t even send a thank you I’d be inclined to stop/move them over to a token gift this year tbh.

We have this conversation a lot at the moment. My husband's sister has three lads who are 24, 21 and 21 and my husband is still buying gifts for them. I've suggested it's time to knock it on the head for a number of reasons such as the fact that they never reciprocate and they all work and live at home still and have more disposable income than us! One of them is going to become a father next summer too, it needs nipping in the bud now before we end up buying gifts for all the nephews AND their offspring!

I got swapped to the 'adult gift' with the uncle that buys presents when I moved out to my own home (he gives adults edible gifts and children more expensive ones). This makes sense to me and I plan on doing the same. Other uncle never did presents and my mum swapped to buying presents for my children when I had them. I like the first uncle's idea.

Im winding down with my dbs children they are 19,18,16,13,11 after this year as i rarely get a thank you and dds bday passed with out so much as a text or call despite me never missing a bday for my dbs children.

They wont get nothing but im edging towards a gift set and card for Xmas and birthdays now.

My previous budget was 25 per child for xmas plus a family xmas eve box with treats and a family game in and 25 for birthdays plus a little something to unwrap.

I know we are not supposed to give in order to receive, but I definitely think it's justified in your case. It also, do a certain extent depends on the relationship . In my family, I both give and receive gifts to and from my aunts/uncles and cousins as well as giving and receiving from my adult nephews. In Dh family, we give and receive to his elderly aunt and uncle but not to Dh siblings or their children. But we are in close contact with those we exchange gifts with, even though geographically we are not close enough to visit often.
If my adult nephew's couldn't even be bothered to acknowledge a gift, I would definitely think k twice about spending more money on them.

I think 21 is what will work for me and my family circumstances. Although I may well swap to a token, boozy, chocolates or something particularly if they are a part of a couple by then.
My nephew is 19 and I'm not ready to stop Christmas or birthdays for him.

@sjaba yes, a thank you is the very least you'd expect! I just stop buying for people who don't thank me, usually, but of course with a nephew you really want to treat them, so it's hard. My nephew is quite annoying in that way, but generally lovely in other ways.