How to explain why some children don’t get presents at Christmas

[Need2morehands]

My eldest ds is 8 and still really believes in Father Christmas, every year we donate some toys to a local charity which then distribute them to family’s whose children might not get presents otherwise. Usually my ds Just enjoys picking out the presents we’re giving and talks about how the children will enjoy them and that’s it but this year he’s started asking if Father Christmas knows where all the children are why doesn’t he go to those children? And so far Iv given a few vague responses but we’re due to do the present shop soon and I feel I need to answer him better but not sure how. Any suggestions? Tia

We say that parents pay for the presents that Santa delivers. That way we can manage expectations of how much he will get and also explain this very predicament.

Another who always did the same as Poppy - relatively little things in stockings from FC/Santa only. Still magical for kids. All else from parents/relatives - who would be thanked.
Saves a lot of trouble, inc. children expecting FC to bring anything too big/expensive/unobtainable..

Oh and I'm going to be putting some home made items in stockings. We'll have to go with "we give things to FC and he fills the stockings".

I've always found it a strange explanation to say that parents pay for the gifts - or even send them to Santa - but then Santa delivers them. Don't the children ask what's the point of Santa then?

Parents are right there in the house. Why send presents to Santa and back? Pretty sure my 5yo wouldn't accept that.

Also means you can't answer 'I don't know' about tricky questions, since if you're in communication with Santa, you could just ask him.

I think you're overestimating how much detail I'm prepared to go into - my Father Christmas edifice is very much a house of straw and I'm not at all bothered if it comes tumbling down. The DCs tell me their stockings come from him and I go along with it.

We did the vague Santa is just the delivery guy thing, that way it didn't matter what others got or didn't as they know it's down to the parents.

When so was small, Santa only provided the stockings. He delivered bigger presents on behalf of the people who bought them.

I agree with Isadora. He is old enough now to know Santa does not exist. Its a good question so he should get a decent answer.

“I've always found it a strange explanation to say that parents pay for the gifts - or even send them to Santa - but then Santa delivers them. Don't the children ask what's the point of Santa then? confused

Parents are right there in the house. Why send presents to Santa and back? Pretty sure my 5yo wouldn't accept that. ”

I’m pretty sure your 5 year old thinks ordering things online and then getting them delivered to your house is the norm. Why would a kid assume a parent went shopping and shipped a present to Santa, when they see their parents ordering stuff online all the time?

Ah, maybe you're right @Valasca. Ordering stuff online is totally the norm for them!

Still think that what makes Santa special is the idea that he chooses and gives children gifts. When kids are so used to deliveries, doesn't Santa-as-delivery-man seem even more pointless? But I do appreciate this makes it difficult to explain the differences between families.

Hoping I'm wrong about Santa as gift-giver being something special, since my 5yo asked me yesterday (while queuing at a Santa's grotto) whether Santa is real or do I do it? I managed to divert her, but don't think it will be long. She thinks about things, and worries away at anything that doesn't make sense to her until she understands it.

I’d tell the truth. I think eight is old enough to know a bit about compassion and giving.

Nordicwannabe plenty of magic doing it this way as Santa will use the money to pay for things that mummy doesn’t allow like slime and Coca Cola

I’m pretty sure your 5 year old thinks ordering things online and then getting them delivered to your house is the norm.

My 4yo:
Mummy we have to go to a shop and buy X. You bought Y in the shop.
Me: Well actually I bought it on the computer.
4yo: On the computer? How did it get in there?
Me: Well you just ask for it on the computer, you write them a message and they send it with the postman.
4yo: And then they write to you again and again and you ask for more things.

4yo: And then they write to you again and again and you ask for more things

She has got marketing totally figured out!

I know, she's got a great future!