Feeling very down about Christmas day and just want to vent, so please bear with me. Background is I have hosted Christmas for between 9 and 12 family members for the past 25 years. This began when our youngest was 2 and we wanted to start our own family tradition rather than spend the day travelling to family. I didn't mind the effort because I was young, had a lot more energy and our DC loved having big family Christmases.
Apart from me, DH and our 2 DC, guests include; inlaws (we have a cordial but not close relationship,) my DM and her dickhead husband, my alcoholic sister who's usually pissed before she arrives, our son's partner and occasionally a niece and/or my brother will make an appearance. None of the older guests like each other but they all dote on the DC so call a truce for the day, like the soldiers playing football with the Germans on Christmas day during WWI.
I have to cater for 2 x vegetarians, 2 x steak rather than turkey, 1 x eats turkey but the stuffing and pigs in blankets can't have touched anything on the plate (making cooking/serving a pain and just something else to have to think about).
Last year we did full Christmas dinner in November as DS and his partner were going travelling. After the meal a few people said "what are you doing Christmas Day?", and I said "Well I'm not doing it all again." Nobody offered to host us apart from the inlaws, but due to MIL's health it meant me preparing and cooking everything (except veggies) at home, and then having to transport it, serve it and clear up after it at their house. Driving home we both said that's it, we're not doing Christmas again, we're both pushing 60 now and we don't have the energy or the enthusiasm. Next year we'll have the Christmas WE want. I was so excited as we talked about going away for Christmas. Could we? Could we really just go away?
I could have guessed it was all just a fantasy, we're back to Christmas groundhog day and I could cry. When it came to the crunch my DH, as always, caved in as he's an only child and has lived with the FOG all his life (that's a whole other thread). We have to have Christmas with his parents, that's the bottom line, and if we invite them, we have to invite my DM and her dickhead husband, which includes my alcoholic sister as she lives with them. Okay, so we'll go to a hotel! Cue much moaning about the expense (well don't come then!), and the waste (FIL "you're mum can't eat £80 worth of food!"). Then my niece, my lovely niece who suffers with anxiety, who's all alone as her partner left her, her mum passed away and her dad lives abroad, asks to come. How can I say no? She has a an emotional support dog (not officially but in practice). DS and partner then break the good news they're coming to ours (I think they think they're doing us a favour gracing us with their presence). They have 2 dogs, both are very destructive. We have 2 dogs. We can't take dogs to the hotel! We can happily leave ours, but niece needs her dog and the other 2 will destroy the house! So here we are again, hosting Christmas for 11.
DH says the problem is all the dogs because we could go to the hotel if it weren't for the dogs. My view is that this all stems from his sodding parents because we HAVE to spend Christmas with them and everything else snowballs from that. I feel so resentful. I didn't really want to go to a hotel for an overpriced lunch with people I don't want to be with, so it's not the dogs. My reality is that until my inlaws shuffle off this mortal coil I have to suck it up and host everyone.
This problem seems so petty I know, but I used to love Christmas and now I don't enjoy it and don't look forward to it. It's just a load of work and expense for us. It's not like our efforts are even appreciated - there's such a sense of entitlement.
Anyway, vent over. I'm not usually one for self pity, and I know lots of people are lonely at Christmas so I should be grateful people want to come to me for free food and drink . If you read all that thanks and well done.