Bikes, handing them down as presents...

[drspouse]

DS is 6 and may need a new bike soon. DD aged 4 would get his. I'm not normally one for "it all must be exactly fair" but this would mean DS gets a "new to us" present while DD just gets to use something already in the household.
The alternative is as a birthday present for DS, which is Jan. But then DS gets a present and so does she when it's NOT her birthday!
She coped VERY badly with his birthday last year and vice versa (DS has some SEN, in DD's defence she was only 3!)
Any helpful thoughts??!

She's only 4. Could you spruce the older bike up a bit? Maybe a new brightly coloured saddle and some fancy bits for the wheels? A basket or tassels? Stickers? Then it'll seem new to her rather than the same bike shes used to DS having.

I think she'd like a basket! And a bell.

We use hand me down bikes (3 kids, bikes of every size from the tiniest puky balance bike to adult size and everything in between in the garage - 7 year old has never had a new one, and won't until he needs an adult size one).

We don't give the hand me downs as presents though, they're just there to move up to.

Additionally we bought the older children cheaper second hand bikes if they outgrew their current one in a growth spurt without it being a present.

We've only given new bikes as actual Christmas and birthday presents a few times. I think the first balance bike was bought brand new for Dc1's 2nd birthday, and both older kids had brand new bikes for their birthdays at 10 and 8 when they were the same height so no hand me downs.

After cycling proficiency test at the end of primary we buy each child a really good adult size bike which we expect to last them for good (dds definitely will although if DS passes 6 ft he may look a little silly on his... Still it'll last several years!)

I wouldn't give a hand me down as a present but absolutely would hand it down!

Accessories are definitely presents if bought for the child personally - baskets, bells, lights, speedometers/ mile counters, drinks bottle with rack, those silly fake exhausts, flame stickers to decorate a hand me down

I’d hand it down but not instead of a present

I would not give DD DS's old bike on his birthday, nor when he gets his new one if it's a Christmas present. It just stays in the garage and is available when she grows out of her current bike. It's very unfair otherwise especially on his birthday.

Birthdays should always be about the birthday child only, unless you have twins when it can't be helped birthdays are ine thing children shouldn't have to share bitter

A hand me down bike is not a present.

How about if DS gets a new bike for Christmas, his is wrapped and given to his sister from him? You then buy the 'new bits' basket, bell etc to go with it.

A hand me down bike is still a present - I read from the OP that all bikes are second hand when they arrive. It isn't like DS is getting a brand new bike and DD isn't.

Have it sprayed a different colour and nobody will be any the wiser.

all bikes are second hand when they arrive.

Indeed they are - we get second hand Isla bikes (they are wonderfully light) and we aren't going to spray any (as that will reduce their resale value). But tarting it up is definitely an option.

She'd know it was his if it was sprayed, anyway!

I quite like Tiggles idea as then it's an extra present not part of the main Mum and Dad bunch.

Give the new bike as a present. But not the hand-me-down. Give that later.

This is why we don't give bikes as presents, the dc just get moved up to the next second hand bike when they need it.

I disagree. Getting a new bike as a present, or just Getting a new bike in general: on a Sunday afternoon in November, not for your birthday, not for Christmas, or whenever you get it, it's a big deal.

Whether it's new-new or nearly new or secondhand off eBay, it's irrelevant, it's your latest bike, it's new to YOU, it is a big deal.

But not been given your elder brothers hand-me-downs. come on. that's just not the same.