Lady in 80s who needs/wants nothing!

[jocktamsonsbairn]

Help needed!!! I've got an elderly relative to buy for who they s in her 80s, recently diagnosed with dementia and who is quite infirm. She doesn't want anything and I don't want to louder her by giving her 'stuff'. Any ideas? I thought of a wee bottle of homemade ginger wine a local place sells as I know she likes that but apart from that I'm stumped! She could open a fancy toiletry shop and her appetite has gone.
Have £10 to spend for family secret Santa. Any ideas gratefully received!

How about family photos in a frame? If she's got dementia then something from years gone by will be more relative to her than something modern. We gave my mum and dad (in their 80's) a collage of photos from the street they grew up on, family pics from the 50's and 60's, things like that, and they loved it.

Nice pyjamas or nightie. If she has dementia her sleep patterns may be interrupted. What about a luxury pillow?

She is surrounded by photos but that was a lovely idea.
The nightwear theme might work, I'll have a look at that. Her sleep patterns have definitely changed!.

Does she have a window that she sits near to? I got my gran this window bird feeder last Christmas (including some bird seed etc and a book for identifying birds) and she loved it.

Bird feeder is a lovely idea ❤️
Fiddle blanket
Some one to come in a do her nails ?
I’m not sure , my Dad had dementia , and didn’t know any of us , but he still liked a Malteser or Lindor chocolate, and liked holding hands , something tactile might be a good choice

Silk pillow case
Slippers
Magazine and a box of chocolates
Pot plant

Some people with dementia like a doll?

Bed jacket?

My nan loved hers when she was stuck in bed as it kept her warm but didn't ride up.

Do you know any music she liked when she was younger? I remember reading about a study on music and dementia and they found memories of music persisted better than other memories and playing music from when people were younger was really good for improving patients mood.

(Even aside from dementia I think a cd of songs from when someone was young is a lovely gift, my Mum recently managed to find online song she liked when she was a little girl that she’d not heard since and she was so happy the rest of the day singing along to the song!)

I got one of those window bird feeders for my gran about 15 years ago and it was the biggest hit ever. She might need someone to put it up and fill it regularly though. Other birds feeder stuff might be good if there is a suitable tree outside her window.

Oxfam unwrapped charity gifts are brilliant for people who don't want/need anything.

Does she get many visitors? I think something whe can give guests might be nice, maybe posh biscuits or tea.

My granmother loved to have thigs from Fortnum and Mason or Harrods to give out to other people, when I worked in London just around the corner from F and M it made life very easy.

People with dementia can forget to drink enough so a nice water bottle or water jug would be useful. You can get ones with markers to show how much you have drunk.

How is she with tech?

IWOOT have a smart watch for £9.99, it migght be a useful thing for her to get used to now and use more if her dementia gets worse, you can send reminders to do things and daily goals.

Music has been highly linked to helping people with dementia - as in music from her younger days (long term memory is often the last to go). So perhaps a CD of tunes from her heyday, or if applicable, a trip to see a live band play if the stars aligned to offer such a thing?

Even a DVD of a relevant musical?

Does she get cold a lot? She might like a warm fleecey blanket or cosy bed socks. My gran had dementia and she liked things like bed socks, blankets, scarves, gloves, earrings/jewellery and chocolates.

A more practical present could be a digital clock that displays the day of the week. One of the scary aspects of dementia is losing all sense of time and date so that might help her but it depends I guess how close you are and whether she'd find that insulting.

Thank you so much! Some great ideas there.