Ideas for dd age 12 (ASD)

[Lovemusic33]

Dd2 is 12 almost 13 and has autism, she breaks most things and they end up having to be chucked away. All she really plays with is her Ipad and Pokemon cards. I have bought her a Pokemon card set (an expensive £40 set), a Lego set (£50) and some stretchy slime (£12). All she has really asked for is the Pokemon cards. Her sister is getting a Nintendo switch which is quite an expensive gift and I feel a bit bad that I haven’t spent as much on dd2. They will both have a stocking each which will mainly include food, pants, socks etc..

Dd2’s presents came today in the post and it just doesn’t look like much. I don’t just want to buy things for the sake of it but I don’t want her to be disappointed. She doesn’t really like getting clothes as gifts, mentally she’s a lot younger than she is and although she likes some age appropriate things she doesn’t like things like make up, doesn’t care about her hair etc.., she’s not really into any sport due to some physical disabilities, we surf and bodyboard in the summer but she doesn’t need anything for those (we bought everything last year).

I can’t buy her anything that she might put in her mouth or can make a mess with as when it comes to playing she’s like a destructive toddler

Would she like Pokemon items other than the cards e.g. t-shirt, blanket or duvet cover? I got a Pokemon cap for a friend last year (to match the main character in the series) which was well received. Alternatively, would she like a card file to display her cards?

Would she like some art for her bedroom (Maybe Lego or Pokemon)?

Would she like something like cushions for her room, maybe the ones where you flip the sequins over to make patterns?

She has Pokemon wall art and bedding. Bought her Pokemon toys last year and she broke them, she’s not really interested in anything other than the cards and they are so expensive for what they are (she doesn’t exactly look after them either but gets hours of fun out of them).

She does like the sequin cushions, she has one but would probably like another. Her rooms pretty small and she tends to draw on anything nice I buy her to go in it.

Make some play dough? Would she think that is too babyish? My 10 yr old still loves it, and last year we got an electronic set that used play dough for connections which was great fun.

Would she have any interest in those sets of cushion, bag ,pencil case where you colour your own and can then wash and start again?

Or a white board and markers. Even just the markers can draw on windows etc and just wipe off.

Everyone’s different, but some things on my sons list are...(he’s not getting it all, by the way)!
light up shoes.
Those sequin cushions that you can flip the sequins on.
A lava lamp or a room projector.
The Simon says light up game.
Magic sand.
Bath bombs.
A fish tank.
Headphones.

Is she into cuddly toys at all? A big lovely pokemon character perhaps?

My DD (13) has ASD and I also struggle with present ideas. I’ve bought her a pair of Bluetooth headphones which were on offer, she loves her iPad and she’ll enjoy switching off from everything around her. I’ve also bought her a Lego pop up book and a Lego set which makes a pop up book with two fairytales which you can interchange. If she doesn’t like building that, I will! You have my sympathies OP, it’s very hard.

She’s not into cuddly toys (unlike her sister who is obsessed with them).
We have had toys which you colour in but she ruins them by using the wrong pens 🤣
Had kinetic sand last year and she has playdough.

She watches videos on YouTube of roller coasters and people opening Pokemon cards, I have ordered her the roller coaster Lego set and Pokemon cards. She does like cars but is more obsessed with their badges, have bought her model cars but she’s not that interested (would love the real thing).

She likes listening to Radio one in my car so I could possible by her a radio for her room, though she has a echo dot and doesn’t use it.

What about an Amazon Echo / dot? She can ask Alexa things, play the radio through it or listen to audio books. QVC often have deals on them and they give you 30 / 60 days to try it and you can return it if she’s not interested.

Oh just read the last sentence! Sorry OP 😊

You can buy car badges if you think she’d like them.

If she likes Pokémon cards does she have folders and sleeves to sort them out into? I would buy her more Pokémon cards. It's not a waste if she gets hours of joy out of them.

What about Pokemon games, you could pick up a special edition retro game boy colour and some Pokemon games for about £100... speaking from experience lol. My ds was Pokemon mad and he absolutely loved it

Does she write/draw at all? You could get a 'Wreck this journal' book from WHsmith for her to use?

My DS is 12 and has ASD. He’s asked for a box set of books and something cosy to sit under when he’s reading them.

I have a big furry throw in the living room that he loves, so I’ll get him something like that.

Would your DD like similar? They are pretty indestructible and I think it appeals to his sensory things.

He also bought some massager things from Tiger recently that he loves more than anything.

What about rubix puzzle
Sand art picture frame - looknin line quite relaxing

Thé thing I learnt with my Asd ds is to just buy him what he wants. Everything else is a waste of money. Perhaps a great big box of Pokémon cards then, if that is what she really likes?

Wow OP your DD could be my DD
My ASD 12 year old is obsessed with the same things as your DD except it's mine craft not pokemon in my house .
She's absolutely obsessed with cars and their badges too. Especially old cars. She gets really upset if we are driving on the motorway and she doesn't know what a car is.. so much so we try and catch up so she can see haha
My DD has decided this year that rather than presents to open she wants to go into town and go on a shopping spree to choose her own presents. It came out of nowhere but she's sticking with it.

My ds who has ASD has very idiosyncratic tastes and interests, and I have learned over the years that he really isn't interested in comparing his presents to his brother's, as long as he likes what he's got. Interestingly he's forensically ruthless about comparing how much money we give them, spend on their clubs/trips out etc, but when it comes to presents he just doesn't think that way. It's me who struggles with the cognitive dissonance every year, when NT ds2 is getting an Xbox, for example, and ds1's pile is mostly books again - I am pretty sure I have ASD as well, and my own rigidity of thinking can cause me a lot of grief when it comes to adjusting how I think things should be to accommodate ds1's different needs!

So my advice is just to give her the things you know she will love. I would recommend Pokemon cuddly toys though. DH and I are both PoGo addicts and I'm getting him a couple this year!

Does she like the Pokémon element of the cards or the card element? She might like Top Trumps (not necessarily to play)

I think you can get the Rollercoaster Tycoon game on the iPad if she likes computer games

I think it’s the Pokemon element and the fact they are all very different and unique (to her anyway), she likes things that are collectible but will only collect one thing at a time and become so obsessed that nothing else is really of interest. She has had some top trump cards but she’s not as interested. She takes her Pokemon cards everywhere with her and smuggles them into school. Maybe I should just buy her more Pokemon cards but they just seem so expensive for what they are. Hopefully she will show a interest in the Nintendo switch her sister is getting but she doesn’t really like gaming.

If she likes Lego the rival company Mega Construx (aka Megabloks) did some Pokemon sets. For some odd reason they weren't released in the UK but you can get them online.
Does she read? Pokemon encylopedia maybe?

I think the Pokemon Lego sets are on amazon, I will have a look, she likes building things.

She does read, she has some Pokemon books but I will have to check which ones.