Do they all need a “big” present?

[Howmanysleepstilchristmas]

Dd11 wants a new bike. I have other dc aged 5, 6 and 13. The 13yo has no idea what he wants but will understand his sister getting a big present while he just gets bits. The 6yo wants a couple of reasonably priced things: will he then be disappointed she gets a big present if he doesn’t?
The 5yo wants a tablet or phone for games. No way he’s getting that! But will he be disappointed Santa didn’t bring what he asked for/ a big present?
Do I need to get everyone a main present? If so, any suggestions that won’t break the bank and will have impact and be loved?
Will they notice the discrepancy (I suspect yes!)? Do I hold off until summer for the bike and give it for dd’s birthday? She’d be fine about it, but it’s a long wait.
Oh, and how do I find ds5 something he’ll love without introducing screen time? He is allowed on his brother’s phone for 10minutes occasionally in waiting rooms etc, and gets very upset when time’s up so I don’t think it’s a great idea!

Honestly, my 5yo would struggle with her sister getting a big present when she didn't. But you could maybe dress up a present as bigger than it is, or package a few smaller presents in a pile with a ribbon round so they look more impressive and like a big present.

Re screen presents, there isn't really another present that will do if that's what they want, so all you can do is be clear that it won't be happening so they can choose something else. But that said, we have tablets but they only have games I am happy with on them (mainly toca boca games) and I really don't think they are that bad.

I wouldn't buy a bike for Xmas to be fair. Do they all have bikes? Middle of winter is not the time for a new one.

I suppose only you can say whether your dc would be disappointed as we don't know them but I think with small children you have to remember they don't know how much things cost anyway. So if 6 year old wants and gets the reasonably priced things he's asked for he's unlikely to compare his against his older sisters, assuming he doesn't also need a bike. I can see 5 and 6 year old being aware of the number of gifts the other receives so I'd try to keep that pretty even.

Your older dc presumably know who buys and what things cost so if there's a huge disparity in the amount spent I suppose that could potentially be an issue. On the other hand if they're both getting what they want then why would either be disappointed?

It's a matter of managing expectations I think. In this house your 5 year old would be told that actually Santa checks in with parents regarding things like tech and as mum and dad don't allow a tablet til X age, he wouldn't bring that. He's young enough to steer him towards other gifts.

Can the 5 yo get a kindle fire (on black friday prices).

Coming up to summer you’re likely to get a deal on a bike rather than Christmas where they rely on people buying children. Tablets are cheap nowadays and the kindle fire is pretty good for small children - use cashback sites if possible! Then you can set rules for it maybe? I think they will feel hard done by without roughly all the same - and tbh lots of little/reasonably priced things are much better than one big imo! Xxx

Secondhand bicycle? We did when they were younger and we still have a couple in the shed. No reason not to buy a reconditioned one for Christmas.

The youngest 2 got bikes last Christmas which still fit. The eldest got one for his birthday last month. Dd has one but isn’t keen on it, and it’s a bit smaller than she’d like.

We have 2 dc who are now adult and there is a 6 yr age gap between them and we have never price matched at Christmas or for birthdays . We try to roughly get the same number of presents but the value is immaterial as we’ve always worked on the theory that it will even out over the years . Neither of mine has ever commented that the other ‘got more’ , but neither are particularly materialistic so providing they got what they wanted / liked they are happy .

If you need a big present hobby craft do colour in houses/rockets or you could get a tent. Both look impressive but aren't too expensive.

Or if you did want to get a tablet I recommend the kindle fire. My dds have had from around 5. I set parent locks (1 hr school days and 2hr at weekends) they also can't use before 9.30am or after 6.30pm. They go down to around £35 on black Friday.

Kindle fire with timelock may be a possibility. I don’t usually price match, just similar numbers and stocking stuff (about 5-7 presents). I’m just conscious it’d be noticeable if one of dd’s presents was so much bigger.

The 6yo would love the kindle too, I’m just quite strict about screens (made my mistakes with ds13 and trying to learn from them!)

If you went for a kindle you could get a “large” present that isn’t expensive- like a cardboard house or a pop up tent or a box with a helium balloon etc.

The kindle would pass as a big present. I don’t mean size, more wow factor! But aren’t they a bit young? In my head, they ought to be playing rather than fixed to a screen... maybe I’m just old!

If you have a local for sale page on Facebook or use market place, put out a request for second hand bike etc. a lot of good stuff can be bought that way.

My 6 yr old has a kindle, they are great, she does play some games, but also listens to audiobooks and reads books on it.I would say she still spends more time playing with her dolls and Lego etc though and sometimes the kindle lays uncharged for days on end. But as a wow present, for £29 (Black Friday)last Christmas, you couldn’t beat it.

I agree with pp. If your youngest still believe in Santa I would get them a cheap tablet and just enforce time restrictions on its use. I would also get your DD a bike if that's what she wants but buy less stocking fillers. At 11 she understands the value of money and wont mind less presents if they are more expensive. I always have a set amount and spend equally on each child. I think it helps teach the value of money

There were 3 of us and Santa brought one big present each year so we each had a big present once every three years. We never questioned that Santa did this and wrote our Christmas letters according to whose turn it was for the big present.

I think kindles on black Friday would be the way to go for a cheapish big ticket item. You can time limit them, and child friend them. You know they would really like it. They can downloads loads of free games.

Yes, they should be out playing - but you can now organuse family rides now you all have bikes.

I’m old too and wouldn’t give a tablet to a five year old. Either say a firm no, and make it clear that Santa won’t be bringing it, or tell him that even if he gets one he will still only be allowed use it in waiting rooms for ten minutes.
At 5, a walk through Smyths might inspire him to think of new options

I’ve tried the firm no. Unfortunately Santa often brings little things he knows mum wouldn’t get (keeps them believing longer- my 13yo believed until year6!), but just slime etc. Will try to redirect him...
Any ideas for wow presents for the youngest 2 in case smyths doesn’t work?

A wow present for my DS at that age (5/6) was the Playmobile police station. He loved it and played with it endlessly.

DD got a tablet when she was 7 and it came from us despite being on ther Santa’s letter.

Santa wrote a letter, saying that he doesn’t do electronic gifts, that’s something for the parents to decide. We did it this way so we could put restrictions on it without DD telling us “but it’s mine, it is from Santa, you cannot do it”. This happened to friends of ours.

The V-tech kidizoom camera might be an idea for holding off on tablets a little longer. It's primarily a camera but has a few games, and settings that mean you can limit game play to as little as 15 minutes a day, without taking the device itself from them (they can still use it as a camera). Lots of filters and can take video etc, so it's got a bit of 'wow' about it.